stop drinking

[Axanderdeath]

it is really hard for me to stop. Have any of you had addiction problems... I am really fucking lost and I have no one to go to--this is fucking hard and it just keeps geting harder--help me please...

[Axanderdeath]

it is really hard for me to stop. Have any of you had addiction problems... I am really fucking lost and I have no one to go to--this is fucking hard and it just keeps geting harder--help me please...

help form people wopuld be such a lift--I know I am a jerk but I want to do somthing but nothing happens``````````````

[judih]

find some help - addiction isn't solved by anything but a huge amount of will power, backup to help keep you focused and a support system to remind you that breaking the habit is the only way to stay alive.

Some people like A.A. i've got no experience, but whatever you can find, try it.

When you're drunk, you're disgusting. And you know it. It's a good time to change your ways.

You've got a lot worth saving.

[Axanderdeath]

find some help - addiction isn't solved by anything but a huge amount of will power, backup to help keep you focused and a support system to remind you that breaking the habit is the only way to stay alive.

Some people like A.A. i've got no experience, but whatever you can find, try it.

When you're drunk, you're disgusting. And you know it. It's a good time to change your ways.

You've got a lot worth saving.

you are very nice to me. Considering some of the evil nazi shit I have said in the past to you-- I hope you know I was just trying to get a rise out of you and did not really believe it in my heart.

[Axanderdeath]

also aa is really hard for me--everyone in aa is like 40 somthuing and I am 23 I just feel left out--I don`t connect with them. I hope yopu see my good side some times--I do not want to be ugly


drunk and sad

[mousey1]

I have no wisdom to impart. I have no addictions to speak of. Nothing earth shattering, just the business of life, sometimes it gets messy.

I will tell you that when it comes to listening to someone who is drunk I find that very hard to do. My ears have a tendency to slap shut. But from the perspective of someone who has dealt with alcoholics in my own family I can tell you it is a study in frustration. You love these people but it truly is like slamming your head against a brick fucking wall. You can't get through. No one can get through until that person is ready. They will eat you up and spit you out if you let them. So it becomes a matter of selfpreservation.

You have people in your life...of this I am quite certain...people who love you but have probably just grown unbearably weary of watching you destroy yourself. They distance themselves, they must, it hurts too much.

There's help out there but you've got to dig in your heels and make it work for you.

Everything has a root problem. A point or points in history that start the ball rolling towards either your success or demise. Get to the root of the problem...heal that then maybe your reasons for climbing into the bottle will be gone and you can get on with living.

You don't sound all that bad to me. A shit disturber no doubt when under the influence.

First thing is to stop with the excuses, they are just that, excuses.

Age has shit all to do with anything really....unless you're in AA to hook up with chicks! other than that who gives a rat's patootie how old anyone is?....makes no difference. Learn from them. Listen to them.

People who are lost and desperate do not care about the vital statistics of their rescuers and or fellow sufferers they just want to get found and helped.

Anyway, I think it's good that you're talking things out, saying what you feel. Is that ever wrong? I don't think so.

I think I could quite easily have become someone who turned to alcohol or drugs to drown my sorrows if given half the chance. So I'm not judging you in any way shape or form, we've all got our crosses to bear, our rows to hoe and we tackle life as best we can. We all need hands to hold, shoulders to lean on sometimes. If we think we're alone we'll turn to other things that end up doing us more harm than good.

Anyway Ax, rest assured that you're not alone.

Alot of people are neck deep in shit and close to drowning in it but no one even knows it until it's too late. And that's sad. Get help, it's out there. And most certainly you're bound to take steps backwards sometimes, or trip and fall, but just keep trying, you'll get there.

You've got alot to offer in this world and to some lucky young lady too, if you so wish. Don't deprive yourself of that chance. You can make it happen but it will take time and effort.

I wish you all the best.

[Axanderdeath]

also aa is really hard for me--everyone in aa is like 40 somthuing and I am 23 I just feel left out--I don`t connect with them. I hope yopu see my good side some times--I do not want to be ugly


drunk and sad

thanks thar feels good
to hear and shit!!

UI am not ready to drop the bottle though, I just do not want top drink eve4ry day---you are wrong I really have noone to talk to, thabnks for careing---geoff

[Zlatko Waterman]

Geoff:

You have to hit bottom and you probably haven't hit it yet.

I have been in AA. I have been a serious drinker.

There are 12-step programs other than AA you might wish to try, but you've got to want to quit badly. That usually means you have to be scared big time first: lose someone you really care about; get so many DUI's you end up in jail; get cut off from your parents ( and their money) . . .or simply injure yourself or someone else by driving drunk.

The things you post on this board are not impressive, but they could be.

As a teacher for 33 years I met many addicted and alcoholic students. Being young is tough and confusing, and medicating yourself is one way out.

Being drunk gives you excuses to follow the path of least resistance.

Even here, electronically, all we old-timers can do is offer advice.

You are the only force that can change your behavior.

But as I said, most people don't change until there's a disaster.

I hope you can change before then, keep writing, and learn more about yourself.

You are more valuable to all of us ( at StudioEight) as a living young writer.


--Z

[Lightning Rod]

Geoff,

I don't know if you have these pity parties when you become drunk or if your self-pity is the reason for your drinking.

I have kicked numerous and varied addictions in my lifetime. One time I had kicked a heroin habit and I was clean when an old dope shooting buddy called me on the phone. I said, "Dope is a stern lady. You have to either marry her or divorce her."
He said, "What if I just want a date?" (ba da boom)

My advice would be to do it till you get sick of doing it and then quit.

The Don Juan books offer some interesting insight into substance use. Don Juan maintains that of the many psychoactive drugs and plants and spirits available, some are your friends and some are not. You have to decide which is which and use them accordingly.

It's not always easy to tell which are your friends and in what amounts and some of them, particularly alcohol can tend to do your thinking for you. In that case I've found it best to give yourself a breather and evaluate the effects.

In any case, what judih said is true. You just have to dig your heels in.

Do the things that make you like yourself. Don't do the things that make you hate yourself.

[Rat Bag]

I am choked up by the beauty here -- just tripping out on the balance of it all -- Ax lashing out at people then asking for help -- people offering help...

It's amazing!

Mousey had some awesome advice that I'd only be redundant in repeating and Zlatko brought in some great personal insight.

You certainly strike me as a deep and intriguing character, Geoff. You'd probably be really likeable if you stopped projecting your shit onto other people. See, even after all the stirring, awesome and amazing people like Judih, Zlatko and Mousey are here showing you how much they care and how much they want to like you and how much they want to help you become likeable to yourself.

And on that note, I'll stop rambling and say it thus simply: Start liking yourself, loving yourself even -- not with shows of bravado and "I'm so great" but by genuinely, quietly, pouring love over yourself like a star.

Fuck it, I'll keep on rambling because I feel like it.

I had this illustration I was thinking about. It's like a fountain, or a cup. The fountain has to be full completely to the brim before it can start overflowing. It's the same with love. One must fill themself completely to the brim with love, until it is overflowing. That means that they must learn to recognise love when it is offered and accept it graciously until it fills them to flowing over. Only then can the love start flowing over to other people.

Life's a dream, Geoff.

You are the most important person in the world.

Get well. Take care.

[Axanderdeath]

I am choked up by the beauty here -- just tripping out on the balance of it all -- Ax lashing out at people then asking for help -- people offering help...

It's amazing!

Mousey had some awesome advice that I'd only be redundant in repeating and Zlatko brought in some great personal insight.

You certainly strike me as a deep and intriguing character, Geoff. You'd probably be really likeable if you stopped projecting your shit onto other people. See, even after all the stirring, awesome and amazing people like Judih, Zlatko and Mousey are here showing you how much they care and how much they want to like you and how much they want to help you become likeable to yourself.

And on that note, I'll stop rambling and say it thus simply: Start liking yourself, loving yourself even -- not with shows of bravado and "I'm so great" but by genuinely, quietly, pouring love over yourself like a star.

Fuck it, I'll keep on rambling because I feel like it.

I had this illustration I was thinking about. It's like a fountain, or a cup. The fountain has to be full completely to the brim before it can start overflowing. It's the same with love. One must fill themself completely to the brim with love, until it is overflowing. That means that they must learn to recognise love when it is offered and accept it graciously until it fills them to flowing over. Only then can the love start flowing over to other people.

Life's a dream, Geoff.

You are the most important person in the world.

Get well. Take care.

thanks and sorry to every one. I amn very angry at the world--the way people are. I do not understyand it.

I was watching the news--that sad and horrible shit goin on in ms and la--the soulless bastards at the news staion were talking about soft wood lumber. I donèt know if this fucking world deserves me--most of this world is assholes--it makes me more and more angry--i want love but see no reason to give it...

[stilltrucking]

The things you post on this board are not impressive, but they could be.

Geoff I am easily impressed
I wish I could help you
It is unfair because I am sure there is a genetic factor involved with alcoholism. For example Native Americans. The luck of the draw. I love whiskey it is like holy water to me. I been lucky in that I can take it or leave it. It is more a matter of money for me. I can’t afford it very often. I have to buy buy cigarettes. When I see that picture of Clay with that cigarette dangling from his mouth I want to slap it away. Excuse I got to light my cigarette.
Yeah man that feels good a nice long drag of death. Clay makes a lot of sense, every one does here. I can’t say I fucking word about it cause I would be a hypocrit. Here are my addictions if that would help, I am a maroholic so I just don’t keep it around, my sister is killing me with kindness cause she keeps giving it too me. I have finally convinced her that if I would to smoke a joint I will come over to her house. I just don’t want it around. Booze, no addiction but as a diabetic it is poison to me. But I still drink, so far this year I have drank four half pints (480ml bottles) two vodka and two whiskey. One beer, and two bottles of wine.) I do it on a budget basis, when I got a little extra dough. My worst addiction is studio eight and compulsive typing, I am killing myself with words. Surfer mike would be a good one to weight in here. Just treat your self kindly Geoff,
I forgot sex, but fortunaely that don't seem to be a problem anymore I owe illuminara big time for that, she made the first cracks in my delusions
Time loves a hero geoff
keep writting is my only advice
don't use booze as a rationalization for writting though, I did that with pot. not good not good.

[Axanderdeath]

The things you post on this board are not impressive, but they could be.

Geoff I am easily impressed
I wish I could help you
It is unfair because I am sure there is a genetic factor involved with alcoholism. For example Native Americans. The luck of the draw. I love whiskey it is like holy water to me. I been lucky in that I can take it or leave it. It is more a matter of money for me. I can’t afford it very often. I have to buy buy cigarettes. When I see that picture of Clay with that cigarette dangling from his mouth I want to slap it away. Excuse I got to light my cigarette.
Yeah man that feels good a nice long drag of death. Clay makes a lot of sense, every one does here. I can’t say I fucking word about it cause I would be a hypocrit. Here are my addictions if that would help, I am a maroholic so I just don’t keep it around, my sister is killing me with kindness cause she keeps giving it too me. I have finally convinced her that if I would to smoke a joint I will come over to her house. I just don’t want it around. Booze, no addiction but as a diabetic it is poison to me. But I still drink, so far this year I have drank four half pints (480ml bottles) two vodka and two whiskey. One beer, and two bottles of wine.) I do it on a budget basis, when I got a little extra dough. My worst addiction is studio eight and compulsive typing, I am killing myself with words. Surfer mike would be a good one to weight in here. Just treat your self kindly Geoff,
I forgot sex, but fortunaely that don't seem to be a problem anymore I owe illuminara big time for that, she made the first cracks in my delusions
Time loves a hero geoff
keep writting is my only advice
don't use booze as a rationalization for writting though, I did that with pot. not good not good.

I have enough money--money is not it for me--I hate money and the systems it has buildttt in human society and phycy--pisses the fuck out of me--What I posted this for is just to not feel alone and dead---so thanks al;ot to everyone of you---really--thanks...

[stilltrucking]

I can't understand much of that Geoff

phycy--

I don't know if what I wrote made any sense to you it was mostly spontaneous gibberish. Maybe Zlatco is right. about what you write.

I don't have much use for mean drunks Geoff, I am a happy drunk. Do I sense a lot of anger in your reply to me?

[Axanderdeath]

I can't understand much of that Geoff

phycy--

I don't know if what I wrote made any sense to you it was mostly spontaneous gibberish. Maybe Zlatco is right. about what you write.

I don't have much use for mean drunks Geoff, I am a happy drunk. Do I sense a lot of anger in your reply to me?

the reply has nothing to do with drinking--I do not respect money--I thuink it is evil---I was not trying tio be rude to you __trucking__i think you are one of tghe more intersting people on here--and I am stupid gibberish--don't worry