stop drinking

[Axanderdeath]

Geoff:

You have to hit bottom and you probably haven't hit it yet.

I have been in AA. I have been a serious drinker.

There are 12-step programs other than AA you might wish to try, but you've got to want to quit badly. That usually means you have to be scared big time first: lose someone you really care about; get so many DUI's you end up in jail; get cut off from your parents ( and their money) . . .or simply injure yourself or someone else by driving drunk.

The things you post on this board are not impressive, but they could be.

As a teacher for 33 years I met many addicted and alcoholic students. Being young is tough and confusing, and medicating yourself is one way out.

Being drunk gives you excuses to follow the path of least resistance.

Even here, electronically, all we old-timers can do is offer advice.

You are the only force that can change your behavior.

But as I said, most people don't change until there's a disaster.

I hope you can change before then, keep writing, and learn more about yourself.

You are more valuable to all of us ( at StudioEight) as a living young writer.


--Z

what do you mean by the things I post are not imperssive but coukld be? don't get that.

[stilltrucking]

I am scared Geoff. No shit scared. This studio eight thing is getting out of hand. If yu get a chance to read my snippet to day I would appreciate and feed back.

No found it interesting, I remember that friend of yours the high school teacher (gay I think) who was helpful to you the one who encouraged you to write.

Mys sister and I used to fight about money but in a very peculiar way. We would throw it at each other, I mean we would keep trying to give it each other, one time I tore up a twenty dollar bill because I was pissed she wouldn't take it.. There was a rumour that Hitler offered to sell jews for five thousand dollars each, there were no takers. Yeah I hate it too, just look at what is happening to the gulf coast now. Bush is going on about how wonderful it will be rebuit, Says Trent Lott is going to rebuild his house and it will be wonderful. Going to sit on the porch with him and sip a mint julip admire all the million dollar homes that will be built on the shore now that the riff raff have all been washed away. I love to read judih posts about the socialist kibuuz's.

[Axanderdeath]

I am scared Geoff. No shit scared. This studio eight thing is getting out of hand. If yu get a chance to read my snippet to day I would appreciate and feed back.

No found it interesting, I remember that friend of yours the high school teacher (gay I think) who was helpful to you the one who encouraged you to write.

Mys sister and I used to fight about money but in a very peculiar way. We would throw it at each other, I mean we would keep trying to give it each other, one time I tore up a twenty dollar bill because I was pissed she wouldn't take it.. There was a rumour that Hitler offered to sell jews for five thousand dollars each, there were no takers. Yeah I hate it too, just look at what is happening to the gulf coast now. Bush is going on about how wonderful it will be rebuit, Says Trent Lott is going to rebuild his house and it will be wonderful. Going to sit on the porch with him and sip a mint julip admire all the million dollar homes that will be built on the shore now that the riff raff have all been washed away. I love to read judih posts about the socialist kibuuz's.

I am no nazi--and i am not gay--you can think i am all you want, just not... Still like I have said before I like you, but I don't undersatnd your madness sometimes--have a good one, and try not to be scared

[stilltrucking]

cigarettes I forgot that maybe the worse addiction I have. Not only that I cant afford them at two dollars and fifty cents a pack. I could buy five avocado for that.

Geoff I feel about you almost the same as yabyum, you can say anything to me. I need the words. You are a talented writer A gift, I hope it brings you happiness. Listen to Zlatko when it comes to writting. I know nothing.

but I like this bit about praise,

If you need good words to feel good about yourself, then it's devastating when someone gives you bad words. Neither one needs to touch you

It may not be about money to you but if I don't get back to work I will be eating cat food next pay day.

I don't want to set no traps for you young man.
poison you with self confidence.

[Zlatko Waterman]

Try these letters on for size, Geoff:

They are short, to the point, and helpful to me, even today.

I first read them when I was 21. They were handed to me by a loving and wise teacher of mine who cared about my development as an artist. I am not comparing the 60-year-old me with him. I would never do that. But without that teacher, and without Rilke, above all, I would never be the writer I became.

Here are some of the greatest pieces of correspondence that exist from a practicing writer to a young apprentice.

Rainer Maria Rilke was one of the greatest writers of the twentieth century, and not just in German. Franz Kappus asked him for advice, sending some of his own work.

As you read, try to see what the older man is trying to convey to the younger.

Good luck, and keep writing.


( link to Rilke's "Letters to a Young Poet")

http://www.sfgoth.com/~immanis/rilke/letter1.html




--Z

[stilltrucking]

Geoff we missed each other on this,

the money and hitler had nothing to do with you
in america money is life or death.
health care for example
it matters not to me what you are
I take everything you write with a winky
cause I never no where you are coming from
if you are writing from your heart
or just trying to be Bukowski
you hardly ever write anything about women that does not sound
well... full of self pity
these young girls today they are unkown to me
There are still some who want to be polyester brides
but i think most of them have moved on

I wish you well, I really do
taking a break from work
got to get back
not to sound like a trucker
but honestly
you are much appreciated on this end
carry on
and thanks

[mousey1]

Thanks for the link Zlat....if Ax don't pay no heed I will....they are an excellent read!

[stilltrucking]

Geoff I used to be smart. Now I am dumb the result of twenty five years of self abuse. I have seen you sort of flamed on the creative board which made me appreciate how good a writer you are. But this is general discussion so I figure you are writing from your core. But I forget that everyone here is not so interested in that as I am.
Read this by Sober Duck, it is called Twenty Years Of Self Abuse. I know it was writen from his heart. He wasn't trying to yank anybodies chain.
Think about it.
http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=2801

I used to think I needed to smoke pot to write. A snare and a delusion. Now when I smoke weed it just recreational. Now that I have taken away my rationalization for being a doper I smoke far less and get far higher.

Now i could be wrong here and you may just trying to be creative, but i don't think so.
Take care of yourself. I know how serious you are about your writing. I hope you never have the problems of a mid list author.

[Marksman45]

Lightning Rod mentioned Don Juan Matus (I threw in his last name so no one would confuse him with Don Jaun De-whatsis name)

Don Juan, if he existed (and whether or not he did is really irrelevant, those books are about ideas), was once a drinker. And he told Castaneda, who was a heavy smoker at the time, that Castaneda could quit smoking at any time, just like Don Juan had one day dropped drinking. He said that anyone can let go of any habit once they realize they don't need it.
The trick is to realize you don't need it.

[stilltrucking]

Webb Pierce song.

There stands the glass ...
That will ease all my pain ...
That will settle my brain ...
It's my first one to day ...
There stands the glass ...
That will hide all my tears ...
That will drown all my fears ...
Brother, I'm on my way. ... ...

CHORUS
I'm wond'ring where you are tonight
I'm wond'ring if you all right
I wonder if you think of me
In my mis-e-ry
There stands the glass
Fill it up to the brim
Till my troubles grow dim
It's my first one to day.

CHORUS

I sure don't need cigarettes, except as Vonnegut said they are the American way of suicide. I still think Mr. Duck has the last word here. . I think a lot of it is genetic. I think it is a disease, not a character flaw. Just the luck of the draw.

[Doreen Peri]

Hi Mars.

What you said reminds me of a group called Rational Recovery. They say the AA religious stuff is nonsense which keeps you hooked because it preaches a "one day at a time" philosophy.

Instead, they say, all you have to do is make up your mind that you're not going to do it any more. They say it's really that simple. Any more, meaning any more EVER, not just one day at a time, which supports the addiction mentality.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/de ... 2?v=glance

"Former social worker Trimpey, who drank heavily for 20 years, was not favorably impressed with the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings he attended because of their group orientation and what he took to be the religious precepts in AA's Big Book. Several years later Trimpey quit drinking completely, not by admitting that he was "powerless over alcohol," as per AA, but by taking responsibility for his actions and control of his behavior. He then wrote The Small Book (Delacorte, 1992). His technique requires participants to give up what he terms AA's dependent thinking, relinquish the idea that they have an incurable disease, and seize control. Addictive behavior is not limited to alcohol, so drug dependence is included, as well as a separate chapter on gambling. Trimpey's program may work well for readers ready to assume full personal responsibility for their recovery. The practical instructions outlined can be used independently of group meetings or with Rational Recovery groups that now meet throughout the United States.

I think I'm going to get this book. I've switched from vodka to dry sherry and my liver is happier now, but I really don't need the shit at all. I just have to make up my mind to not do it any more, I guess.

Best of luck to Geoff! Geoff, if you've come to the point that you don't want to do it any more, then it is a lifestyle that isn't working for you and it's best you listen to yourself and stop. Try something else. I'm thinking of exercise. Every time I want a drink, I think I'll start running or walking or dancing, instead.

[Doreen Peri]

Hi Mars.

What you said reminds me of a group called Rational Recovery. They say the AA religious stuff is nonsense which keeps you hooked because it preaches a "one day at a time" philosophy.

Instead, they say, all you have to do is make up your mind that you're not going to do it any more. They say it's really that simple. Any more, meaning any more EVER, not just one day at a time, which supports the addiction mentality.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/de ... 2?v=glance

"Former social worker Trimpey, who drank heavily for 20 years, was not favorably impressed with the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings he attended because of their group orientation and what he took to be the religious precepts in AA's Big Book. Several years later Trimpey quit drinking completely, not by admitting that he was "powerless over alcohol," as per AA, but by taking responsibility for his actions and control of his behavior. He then wrote The Small Book (Delacorte, 1992). His technique requires participants to give up what he terms AA's dependent thinking, relinquish the idea that they have an incurable disease, and seize control. Addictive behavior is not limited to alcohol, so drug dependence is included, as well as a separate chapter on gambling. Trimpey's program may work well for readers ready to assume full personal responsibility for their recovery. The practical instructions outlined can be used independently of group meetings or with Rational Recovery groups that now meet throughout the United States.

I think I'm going to get this book. I've switched from vodka to dry sherry and my liver is happier now, but I really don't need the shit at all. I just have to make up my mind to not do it any more, I guess.

Best of luck to Geoff! Geoff, if you've come to the point that you don't want to do it any more, then it is a lifestyle that isn't working for you and it's best you listen to yourself and stop. Try something else. I'm thinking of exercise. Every time I want a drink, I think I'll start running or walking or dancing, instead.

[stilltrucking]

Doreen can i bum a cigarette from you.

[Doreen Peri]

I'm fresh out, 'truckin. There are some non-filter Pall Malls in the house. They're Lightning Rod's. You're welcome to one of these if you'd like. Yuck. Tobacco's getting on my lips. I hate these things. Maybe it's time to quit smoking, too. I'd save a whole lot of money and feel better, I'm sure!

[stilltrucking]

My brother and his wife can make a 1/4 oz of pot last a month. I got to smoke it all when I got it. So I don't get it no more. Pot is so EZ compared to cigarettes. I get scared for you and clay, cause I am scared for myself. Looking at them as death. A dam lousy death. I want to live. I got a bad scenario running in my head. Walking on a beach somewhere with my pockets full of rocks and my lungs full of cancer. Just so stupid. I been trying to cut back if not quit. Half pack a day instead of two packs. I think it is harder to quit them these day, not to sound like a conspiracy nut but I think they are putting something in them that makes it harder to quit.

Maybe we could help each other. I remember SooZen and Cecil where trying to quit. I hope they did.

I don't think I could make if something happened to Clay.