Self-Help Books -- Symptom of a Serious Social Problem?

[abcrystcats]

Read this article on MSN this morning and I was really surprised. MSN normally doesn't offer a POV outside the mainstream, so when this showed up, I started to wonder if this DOES represent the mainstream now. If so, this country is in serious trouble.

I have to say, I agree with the article. Although people do have some control over their lives, we have a LOT less than we ever have had in the past, and we're losing more ground, daily.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9819140/site/newsweek/

I am going to be looking for this book.

[stilltrucking]

My neighbor Glynda the white witch had such beautiful hair. reddish blonde brown, she had a few streaks of gray, I used to love looking at her hair. I would complement her on it when ever it seemed appropriate. She has dyed it some sort of blonde. I don't see her anymore. I mean I don't notice her anymore.

I don't get make overs at all.

[hester_prynne]

Hey abcryst, interesting link.
Got me goin.

Her point seems to be more realistic than most although I'd say fairly hugely TARDY !!!!!
I agree with her in that Americans are having to redefine their security, which used to be found in a stable job but for many that is no longer the case.
Heh.
DUH!!!!!!

I happen to be living this nightmare, and have been living it for almost three years now. Currently, I have three jobs! I do two half days of home healthcare. I work saturday and sundays at the homeless shelter, 11 hour shifts. Then two days a week I'm demonstrating products at grocery stores. (I actually love doing this). And all of this, at minimum wages, does not sustain my security! Not to mention the fact, that all three of these employers like to call me and ask me if I can work in a half hour's notice, "after all it would be extra hours for you....".
ARRRgh. I got mad today when they called. I need a day off man. I"m burnt out and still behind!
I'm sick and tired. My back has been killing me and I never get backaches!

Just today, the shelter called and wanted me to come in pronto this morning. I guess the shelter manager wants another day off.
It's crazy! I fucking hate it. My back is killing me. I yelled at her to leave me the fuck alone and to do her job! She'll probably let me go and I don't give a shit. She's an incompetent lazy ass, who acts like her job is such a burden! She's totally unqualified, but she's a devout christian and they like that........

I work all these hours and the paychecks are hilarious! They are like, nothing! 40 hours at 7.25 an hour, after they take out taxes and shit is nothing! Sure, i've worked my ass off, but what do I have to show for it? Stress. Not enough to even pay the minimum bills! And constant calls to come in and cover for those who are being paid top dollar. They'd have me work 24/7 if they could. Even so at min. wage I still would be short.

If anyone gave me a self help book right now I'd look them in the face and laugh. No self help book remotely touches on my reality anymore. They just aren't that realistic.

And now, I hear the government is saying that illegal aliens are "willing workers". Implying that Americans are not willing workers? I couldn't believe that one. They forget to tell you that illegal aliens are willing to work for the federal minimum wage, which is 5.15 an hour! And they are willing to work for that because they are eligible for social service programs that will augment and cover those areas that 5 bucks an hour won't cover. Programs, that I am not eligible for! Programs that I should be downright embarrased to apply for, programs that if I apply for them, I must be a scammer...so they watch like hawks and invade my every move......

Self help books are bogus for the most part. Behind the times.
This whole society is lingering behind the times and in doing so, digging themselves in the hole I've been living in for three years.

Too bad.....for all of us......
H

[Doreen Peri]

I have been "inventing and reinventing" myself my entire life. Isn't that what life is?

The business self-help books really get to me. "How to Win Friends & Influence People" has been a best seller for years. Summed up? Tell 'em whatever they wanna hear then ask for their money. lol ..... teaches you how to be a con. *sigh*

The time management books are a waste of time.

Man, they sure gave that girl an extreme makeover, eh? (referring to the 2 photos on the top right of the article). I like the look of the before girl much better than the after girl. I'm not too hip on an unnatural look. Push-up bras are ok, I guess, but that after shot looks phoney as hell (not to mention whorish )

[Doreen Peri]

hester -

Minimum wage should be $10/hour. And even that would be difficult to live on.

One of the things I learned is to ask for what I'm worth. If they say, "The job pays such-in-such," I answer, "well, I charge such-in-such plus such-in-such." If they want me, they pay what I ask for.

The advice by professionals in the headhunting field has always been to put "open" as a salary preference on a job application. Meaning, you let them make the first offer because you might be surprised that they offer you more than you want or need.

These days, I disagree. "I can't work for less than $dollarfigure" is a better approach.

I empathize with your financial struggles. I have had several eras in my life when I went through the same. It isn't easy.

Your talents, skills and experience are valuable. Set your sights high. Best to you....... Love!

[hester_prynne]

Heh
Boy, was I in a grouchy mood this morning or what!
I dunno. It just pissed me off when she called offering me to "work" if I could be there in 10 minutes......before i'd even had coffee....

I guess it's gonna take goin downhill awhile longer before I can salivate over offers like that.....


Anyways, i'm giving the shelter the heave ho. I'm gonna be a Demo lady at the supermarket three days a week. It's much more fun for me. It's a "spotlight", albeit a pathetic one.......
"hey baby, wanna taste my butta? Challenge butta!"
That was my sales riff last week....


H

[Rat Bag]

So now we need books to tell us that the other books are schlock!?

I smell the next big thing.

[abcrystcats]

Yeah, good point Twi .... I mean Rat Bag !! Hi there!

Looks like I may soon be joining you in AC purgatory.

Hester, where do you you live? Is it some rural community with an extremely depressed economy where jobs are few and far between? Or some tourist town, heavily overpopulated by rich retired folk? The reason I ask is .... how come YOU can't get better? Gosh, you're so smart, I would think you could do just about anything you set your mind to, if the job was available.

I live in a relatively OK section of Denver, but I work just over the line, much closer to the working class poor. The people who've come into my office lately are blowing me away. They are SO poor that if some of them weren't married, they wouldn't be able to live. Lots of them live like you. Plenty of them -- MOST of them -- don't have any spare time because they are working too many jobs.

But there are lots of reasons for that, too. Some of them aren't very bright. Many of them come from families who have always struggled. Many of them are YOUNGER people, who've been pushed through the crummy public school system with a lick and a promise by middle class parents who had faith in the system and nothing else. It's these last that really scare me. We've created a whole generation of young people who are totally unqualified to do any kind of skilled work. What's worse, they don't even have the BASICS (the three Rs) and a little self-esteem. Without that, they're never going to be able to get the skills they need to ever rise out of poverty.

It's almost IMPOSSIBLE to explain this new world to anyone over the age 60 or so. They don't get it, or so it seems. This one old guy was bragging to me on the phone last night that when he was young, he paid CASH for everything and never got into debt. Well, great. These days, if you get the flu and have to see the doctor, you could end up in debt. If your car has a flat tire, you end up in debt. God help you if you actually buy something you don't absolutely NEED. Too much of that and you're really screwed. But, the sad thing is, lots of people don't do that at all, and they're still in trouble.

Years ago there were good jobs available, and if you had the required skills, and a few basic prerequisites, you could eventually get one of those jobs. You might start out poor, but there were chances for you to rise above it. Not any more. Poverty is a way of life for a LOT more people. A LOT MORE.

I agree with Doreen about the dollar figure approach, but what if you've run out of money and other sources of support? Then, what do you say? At that point, you'll take anything, and after you get caught in the rut, working for peanuts and taking three jobs just to get by, it's hard to get out.

[hester_prynne]

Yes I live in a rural community, but it isn't that small and there are jobs, a few decent ones anyway. But what has happened here reflects what is happening in our Government, cronyism, good ol boy rule, and alot of female's planted as scapegoats for any mistakes that are made, the result being alot of incompetence. They don't want competence anymore, it's pretty clear, pretty heartbreaking, to see agencies I used to work for, going literally, down the tubes into squalor, lethargy, and subsistant services being offered to folks in need.

I've been looking for work everywhere, in Portland for example which is a big city. But it seems that there are not many jobs there either, unless you have a connection, unless you know someone.

It's just so different in the job market now. If you have a job, keep it! Hold on tight to it!

And thank you for saying I am smart. That felt good to hear. These days I feel like I must just be a dumb ass!

Anyway, I'm covered, barely now, as demo lady and with the home health aide work I'm doing, until I find something else more suitable, if I ever do.

This topic is so good to be discussing though, and I'm glad you brought it up, it's one of those many things these days, that we all know is bad, but we just don't talk about it, we just look the other way, because it is easier to deal with that way.

H

[Rat Bag]

Cronyism.

I know that word!

That's nepotism for your buddies.

Well, I started a second reply to this thread yesterday. I don't really agree with much of the sentiment expressed by this woman on the link you provided abcryst. It's going to take more thought power than I could be bothered invoking right now to make a decent arguement against it and yeh, I really couldn't be bothered right now.

But the main problem I remember having is that she refuted the self-help cliche of being in complete control. She said that there are things beyond our control, like hurricanes and stuff. I disagree.

It is within our control to get the fuck out of harm's way, and that's all the power we need. If we die, then it's in our power to accept that, or not. Whatever. If our home gets blown down then it's in our power to choose whether we are going to rebuild or wallow in pitty. We have all the power. That's the self help message that this lady obviously isn't seeing.

That's only a surface analysis as well. Perhaps it is even in our power to control the elements (by technology or simply by the mind), but I won't endeavour down that path just yet.