wondering

[creativesoul]

the face of her friend popped up at her window, just when she thought that she would maybe have a minute to herself, after reports and books, and languages that sometimes feel foriegn and listening carefully he implied that she would somehow answer the call, of something that maybe she could not heal, change or rearrange for him. none the less he gave it a shot, that maybe she could be the reason that he lost himself to the money machine
all the things that he won bled or that owned him seemed pretty unimportant right about now
while he held her in the spotlight like an object of great value, the answer to his many prayers
she shivered
somehow that just seems too huge, too much responsability
cannot be the reason formulating in the recesses of his tides that are always rolling in
sometimes the tinkling of ice cubes in crystal glass is a comfort
the tension between doubt and faith is often the curve that many religous fanatics rely on, cozying up to the lonely to persuade them that maybe they are just not worth anything
without this intangible voice of the unseen
but ever present force of God
knights and kings rested thie valor on the breast plates of wars fought in his name
crowns fell of gold, of thorn, of false Gods, of nasty undelivered desire
to the fear and torn memory of love lost
blamed on those that did not follow the script, the story, the belief that any of this was the truth
she was quiet while he ranted
it was out of his control
she shut the door
claimed she was tired and was never happier to be single, alone and free
somehow that this thing was never God to me

[iblieve]

Damn, to wrap human needs, beliefs and desire in to one package is brilliant. The overlay of his desire to put her on a pedestal and her desire to be alone for fear the responsibility to him would be too great leading into the religious complexities of our society blew me away. Once again you are my favorite writer, strictly for personal reason, I like to think and you make me think and search for the answers/meanings in your stories, not saying I get them right but they fit my experiences. "C"