for tinkerjack (but also for ex girl friend-the bitch)

[Axanderdeath]

dead morning comes
in dull mornign
sun
pain of heaft of
dead feelings and hopes

dead morning come
after leaving
town
memories keep on striking
fight them off

in the days when---
when it all was alright
in the summer days by oceans
on the grass
on the dead morning
side walks
late night happy bars
sweat streams down back
hungover
last time in bed together
angry morning-arguments
walking through the garden strange cat eyes
drinking in sadness

beating myself up
head aches-no home
no place no safe place
no love no more

[tinkerjack]

self pity is ok
I liked this poem a lot
I felt sorry for you.
what ever it takes to get you through the night
I am working on not solipsizing women. But I don't walk around with tented pants any more. My heart goes out to you brother. I do not envy you your youth. But I wish I had taken better care of my teeth. Remember Benny? I ripped that "tented pants" bit off from him.

I have never had an exgirlfriend that was a bitch.
There were all beautiful, kind, and intelligent.



My last girlfriend drank herself to death.

she left me one of her little drawings, she was a kindergarden art teacher. She would travel the local schools and try to get the kids started on a life of creativity

[Axanderdeath]

only think she is a bitch because she thinks i am an asshole--

wrote that when the break was still fresh thought it be funny to give you something deep to fuck up--i thought it was deep at least--solipsizing--like that word, and so does Dave Eggers...

any way make fun of my creet ate i've writing all you like--I hope I get half the point across.

she is really acting like a bitch though...

it is hard not to pitty yourself, and at least I am man enough to write about it--your sad tinker--you just cloud it with a (here is some more creaton ivity) per-sone-a--you are hardly a joker you potray your self as!

I am sorry about your ex-girl...

really

geoff

[tinkerjack]

Its ok Geoff she has been dead twenty six years come February. I tell you it has been a long loney time. But the silicon sisters I have met here keep me warm.

[Axanderdeath]

Its ok Geoff she has been dead twenty six years come February. I tell you it has been a long loney time. But the silicon sisters I have met here keep me warm.

doubt that tinker--smarty guy like you would have to have an ass face and a horrible fucking smell to not get a lady--some ladies are fucking easy, just look at the likes that get lais these days! (no examples)

I am worried that people will think I am just one of your many charictors, and if so--man you r the smartist old man in the world!

that picture you posted was dated 1992...? my bad 72...

you are not relly telling the truth are you?

[tinkerjack]

She did not die in my arms Geoff. I was on the road when I heard of her death. I always thought I would see her again.

I can't write anymore about her tonight.
I have tried to tell it as a story a few times but so far no luck.
I know I asked you not to use smileys because the light glinting off those razor teeth of yours blinds me. But I wished you had a used a winky. As George W Bush said about his use of illegalal drugs, and his DUI, "Its history."


So can we shine it on Geoff, lets get back to something more interesting. Unless you need to say something else about it?

Ya know now that I think about it you may have written a country and western song here.

Old worn-out saddles, and 'old worn-out memories,
With no one and no place to stay

.

I got a lot of self pity Geoff, , I am forty some years older than you. I have no excuse. I can't find anything to criticize in you that I can't see in myself. I lost a good friend because of some weird PM that she recieved that I did not send. I thought it was happening again. I am average IQ, not smart old man, nothing wrong with being average as long as you know it. I am also absolutley unigue just like everyone else.

[tinkerjack]

I just got a pm from someone. It was kind it was helpful. It was about-facing ones fears. This bitch ex girlfriend of yours is she the one you are always bitching about? I mean you are always bitching about some woman it seems. Was their more than one ex girl friend or are you hung up on the same one. I know how that is how a scene can become fixed in your mind. Like the time I grabbed Alamo Rose by her throat in a fit of rage.

I suppose this sounds like boasting to some people

Well I remember the last time I saw my last girlfriend. It was in the dead of winter, the wood stove had gone out. It was close to Zero Fahrenheit in that bedroom. I could not get it up. I felt so humiliated and ashamed. I was about 40 at the time the only other time in my life that it happened was when I went to that whore when I was about 14. I have just trashed twenty-six years of my life because of my fear of impotency.

Geoff I am a coward. I hate cowards, there were a lot of them on litkicks not as many here. I try to have compassion for cowards because I am trying to have compassion for myself. How long ago was that sad morning Geof? If it was last week ok, a month ago, well yeah it takes time for a heart to mend. Was it last year, well maybe time to move on. Write yourself a shit kicking cry in your beer country song. Look at me I am old, but I am still a fool,
Nothing like a big eyed girl, Chantilly lace a pretty face, make me act so funny spend my money feel real lose like a long necked goose. I saw the Simpson episode last night. The one where Moe finds a girl friend. Just a coincidence that it was Dec 8 and they were playing “I saw her face.”


You know your original post here was good work, the rest of it is bullshit, want to delete these posts? We can do it ourselves or doreen could do it. The worst thing about this hissy fit of mine is that I am trying to be low maintenance here. Doreen got enough to do.

Just like homer simpson said to moe, there is a girl for you in some bar somewhere just waiting for you
so if your down on your luck and you can't harmonize

[Axanderdeath]

look I call her a bitch because I don't really think the word means much--but it does I guess? I am angry at her. And it has been like 6 months and I am still alittle bitter--I know I have to move on and have--that poem was written about 4 moths ago--I thought it was good--just my sense of humor i guess

[tinkerjack]

I thought it was good--just my sense of humor i guess

Brain dead, can't even remember what the poem is about

a little scrolling music

http://studioeight.tv/musicpost/theda/b ... ckbird.mp3

scroll scroll

Oh yeah,

Blacks and blues
It hurtz so bad
why do I keep beating myself up
cause you make it hurtz so good


I needed an attitude adjustment

beating myself up
head aches-no home
no place no safe place
no love no more

courtesey GP,

edited once added Geof's bit. to give credit where blame would do, showed my ass yesterday

It was after I had come back to Maryland from the circus. We were in bed together and I got so mad I pulled her pigtail. Now Geoff I have no shame. Because I believe in the existential strip tease. And a writter better have a pretty high threshold of embarassment. Yeah I was pretty bitter because is there anything a man don't stand to loose when he lets a woman hold him in her hand? Now this is thirty years ago Geoff, I saw her in the eighties, we hugged, I mean really hugged. But it was not a lovers hug. more like ()
A sister brother hug of platonic love (Never have read Plato). but what supprised me was the hug her girlfriend gave me, belly to belly. And that was sweet too.

I said it and I will say it again

You know your original post here was good work,

Trying to read your resubmitted, I was jamming the jam, well I made one post and the jam seemed to stop in its track. But you know I take everything too personal. By da way I stole your poem, reposted it to hester and said it was mine

http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtop ... 8&start=15

Cause love has no pride.

[Axanderdeath]

I thought it was good--just my sense of humor i guess

Brain dead, can't even remember what the poem is about

a little scrolling music

http://studioeight.tv/musicpost/theda/b ... ckbird.mp3

scroll scroll

Oh yeah,

Blacks and blues
It hurtz so bad
why do I keep beating myself up
cause you make it hurtz so good


I needed an attitude adjustment

beating myself up
head aches-no home
no place no safe place
no love no more

courtesey GP,

edited once added Geof's bit. to give credit where blame would do, showed my ass yesterday

It was after I had come back to Maryland from the circus. We were in bed together and I got so mad I pulled her pigtail. Now Geoff I have no shame. Because I believe in the existential strip tease. And a writter better have a pretty high threshold of embarassment. Yeah I was pretty bitter because is there anything a man don't stand to loose when he lets a woman hold him in her hand? Now this is thirty years ago Geoff, I saw her in the eighties, we hugged, I mean really hugged. But it was not a lovers hug. more like ()
A sister brother hug of platonic love (Never have read Plato). but what supprised me was the hug her girlfriend gave me, belly to belly. And that was sweet too.

I said it and I will say it again

You know your original post here was good work,

Trying to read your resubmitted, I was jamming the jam, well I made one post and the jam seemed to stop in its track. But you know I take everything too personal. By da way I stole your poem, reposted it to hester and said it was mine

http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtop ... 8&start=15

Cause love has no pride.

like the poem--but I did not write it--arr

anyway--thanks for trying it has more value than meets the eye--you have to read my stuff as if your ina class for smart people trying to understand idiots!

[tinkerjack]

I want to jam tonight, going to get some coffee comfort, check out resubmitted later. I am not sure hester knows who foolish father is.

thinking about idiots and idiot winds and listening to silent winds scream through the empty places in my mind where love should have been. going jamm? I can't deal with two streams,

later mr gator.

I liked that bit about silent winds, you got me thinking of suicides a good time of year for that I have heard

[Axanderdeath]

I want to jam tonight, going to get some coffee comfort, check out resubmitted later. I am not sure hester knows who foolish father is.

thinking about idiots and idiot winds and listening to silent winds scream through the empty places in my mind where love should have been. going jamm? I can't deal with two streams,

later mr gator.

I liked that bit about silent winds, you got me thinking of suicides a good time of year for that I have heard

well jamm then brother!!

[tinkerjack]

we all scream at the same octive
make the same sound
fear silent winds
dark nights
but romantisise it at the same time...

edited test

[WIREMAN]

the unpredictable
beauty of the feminine,

the newness of a fling
not knowing so many
of the bad things,

i sometimes wonder why
they edxpect so much
from us,

they are the light, the
goddesses, the most
confusing of species,

I love em, cannot
live without em,

brothers i for one
am very careful what
i say.

......that poem did a lot for my mind A-death......

[tinkerjack]

the unpredictable
beauty of the feminine,

sometimes I feel like a motherless child,
I can not live without them.
I would not have this life to plunder with out them

not knowing so many
of the bad things,

There was no bad to know
I can't think of a bad thing
They were all beautiful

Back in my twenties when I could fake a fling I discovered that
the loneliest feeling in the world is waking up next to a stranger

so if you want to wake up feeling high on the hog, don't go to bed with a pig.