hope for the world

[Sober Duck]

Hey, don't pay me no mind. I'm just an old been there done that sort a guy, I don't mean no harm. I simply thought what I posted was in tune with what you wrote.
Didn't mean for it to sound like preachin.

As a writer, I'm glad you reacted to what I wrote.

[Axanderdeath]

don't mean to sound blunt Sober but do you still have legs?

I still am going to try and controll it for a bit--drugs or not there would be times that I'd be crying in my boxers and hoody at 4 in the morning--too much is put on being sober I think--look just about all great writers--Any way I hardly suffer and that was the point of what I wrote--the point was that I am petty..

but sober like your pick there--looks very sickly...

[Axanderdeath]

I think the problem here, at least in this moment that you're writing this, is the coke and the pills, not to simplify the situation, but it is fact that your brain chemicals have to come all the way down so low after being so high, man that's the toxic shit Bush a Co. flew up from war torn Colombia for you to blow your brains out with, processed with petro chemicals no less, and that is petro chemicals stolen from war torn iraq to boot

where's the meaning, what is the point to life, why not sink into dispair? Because the truth is that there are these layers to reality like a big onion and there are two main important layers we can look at to make it digestible here, not thiat I know this as fact cause I am a know it all or anything, but this is just my sense, stick with this cause its brilliant and I'm trying to help you; two layers to the world:

1. this everyday reality we swim in where I am here on my keys typing to a kin spirit and you sleeping on your pills there and everything in between...and

2. the divine mind that is at the root of everything and is everything

we can draw paralels to movies here, we all like movies: we in the life drama are the characters on the screen, there watching the film is the divine mind, it is me, it is you, it loves to watch our life movies; it has the power to jump into that projection booth and make whatever it wants, it can change reels at any time; we have these lives we have cause it, we, want to watch it that way

here's the solution to put meaning and whatever you want into the life movie: we have to transcend that celuloid, that film barrier, and commune and become one with that divine mind again, as we dwell in it every night, or early pill morning with old man fart sprinkling the seat, when we sleep and before we were born and after we die; we want to commune with the divine mind BEFORE we die, before this reel is over

we want to open a diaolog with divine mind in way of transforming that into a monolog, to join forces with divine mind while still on this reel, while still in the AlexanderDeath sad laptop girl not writing emails back story

to do that, we must create scenes in our life movies that implicate the divine audience member, CREATE SCENES THAT INTICE AND IMPLICATE THE DIVINE LIFE MOVIE WATCHER SO AS TO CATCH ITS EYE AND DRAW IT INTO YOUR RANGE SO THAT YOU CAN CONVINCE IT TO MEND ITSELF WITH YOU

once you've convinced that root conscienceness in you to come forward then you've got the god mind, you can make anything you want

just think of it and there it is, just make it, try it out, you'll find the hardest thing is to get started, to decide what you really want

imagine you've got god head, what are you going to make, where are you going to start?

decide what you want, and then make it, the easiest way to talk with that root god mind is in that sleepy state, cause god mind is you while your snoozing, so right before you sleep, meditate on what you want, and do it a number of nights, and it will come about, but BE SURE ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT

moving I have tried to read that harry kershna shit--wghat is up with all the vendeta's thay got?

[firsty]

ativan's not expensive. also for a kick give it ultram a shot, fake opiate but sometimes it still works out the kinks.

do more drugs, listen to every old man who walks on by. the saleslady at the bon ton was givin me the eye so i told 'er to stick it in 'er ear and she mumbled something about miscellaneous horny toads and peyote. i said, "what the fuck is that thing coming out of your head?" and she looked at me like i ought to know better. if you give me three pictures of blind men i'll give you a psychiatrist and an eye chart. 25 cents for nothing, i say.

theres got to be a way out of this cave. either that or my lantern's got the shakes. the lantern needs a drink. THE LANTERN NEEDS A DRINK. once i climbed to the top of a mountain named after every feline everywhere. for miles and miles, i saw the skeletons of jumpers. boring, stupid jumpers. no imagination. it takes something special to snort gorp, and anyone witnout a notebook is a nobody fool who will die without so much as a shoelace.

[Axanderdeath]

ativan's not expensive. also for a kick give it ultram a shot, fake opiate but sometimes it still works out the kinks.

do more drugs, listen to every old man who walks on by. the saleslady at the bon ton was givin me the eye so i told 'er to stick it in 'er ear and she mumbled something about miscellaneous horny toads and peyote. i said, "what the fuck is that thing coming out of your head?" and she looked at me like i ought to know better. if you give me three pictures of blind men i'll give you a psychiatrist and an eye chart. 25 cents for nothing, i say.

theres got to be a way out of this cave. either that or my lantern's got the shakes. the lantern needs a drink. THE LANTERN NEEDS A DRINK. once i climbed to the top of a mountain named after every feline everywhere. for miles and miles, i saw the skeletons of jumpers. boring, stupid jumpers. no imagination. it takes something special to snort gorp, and anyone witnout a notebook is a nobody fool who will die without so much as a shoelace.

Liked that. I have been listening to NIGHTHAWKS at the dinner--tom waits... reminds me of that--your respnse there.

But just to make it completely claer in noway am I ever going to kill my self. I have shit I want to do and get done--finish...

[firsty]

nighthawks at the diner fast women slow horses unreliable sources dont have to ask permission if i want to go out fishin wishin i was at the i-bar on a saturday nite gettin drunk with tha piano. tom waits has a mood for everyone. nobody gets out of here alive anyway. might as well jam the door, stick a ruler in the movie reel. this is the last chance fat dance no time for games or glossy musclemen, DAMMIT. words are life, live life, please keep writing wherever and whoever. i like your charming chimes, yass!

[Axanderdeath]

nighthawks at the diner fast women slow horses unreliable sources dont have to ask permission if i want to go out fishin wishin i was at the i-bar on a saturday nite gettin drunk with tha piano. tom waits has a mood for everyone. nobody gets out of here alive anyway. might as well jam the door, stick a ruler in the movie reel. this is the last chance fat dance no time for games or glossy musclemen, DAMMIT. words are life, live life, please keep writing wherever and whoever. i like your charming chimes, yass!

Yass (noding like a boxer?)\

influence is obviose---

Just reading book of dreams today--that Keroauc is alot more of a dick in that one--it is kinda a funny--also reading Haruki Murakami's
Hard-boild wonder land and the end of the world--strange ass book.

Also can't write well unless it is spontaniuise--which sucks--try to write structured stuff--but it gets boring--reading creative writing books--they all suck, don't learn nothing...

[firsty]

i'm a third into 3rd reading of "dharma bums". have to get book of dreams. still cant believe that bastard climbed most of matterhorn. shit.

i hate my novel writing, structured, hard to do. feels boring and empty. wish i could sustain something like vonnegut who punches you in the nose for a million straight sentences and chapters. maybe if we could still get benzedrine cheap out of inhalers i could stay up all nite and blast it out. i dont mind editing but it's painstaking keeping at it, altho i intend to keep it up. have to chant to myself "train kepa rollin all nite long train kepa rollin all nite long train kepa rollin all nite long" only trains run on coal, i need someone to shovel the coal.

[gypsyjoker]

numb swirling minds...nothing changes with time...life is a sphere...life is too complex for the human mind...life is made up of contradicting truths...thought is not food...

I don't know Geoff, this piece of writting was a square deal meal for me, very satisfying reading experience. I owe a lot to judih for this one too. I have never read anything by you that was easier on these old eyes.

I would like to have you around for the long haul, take care of your self once in a while.

[hester_prynne]

"it takes alot to laugh, it takes a train to cry"
comes to mind.

A swell read....

where do we go from here?

H