i was in a state of cognitive dissonance
good days are still with me
they leave me swinging in the wind
medical lies
they don't know if I can handle it
can't get no truth out of them
but it don't look good
meanwhile my thoughts run to cremation
it seems to be the cheapest way
but ain't Kosher but what the fuck, I got the faith of a heretic
looking for pre paid burial
smokers with lung cancer easy on medicare
we go so quick
Tipping point the guy who coined that phrase just won a noble prize
he was the one that figured out the lung cancer medicare thing too.
Princesse
not really an issue again'
the last one that could have been was the nurse practioner a couple years ago, the one who said she adored me, took my blood pressure by holding my arm to her body from breasts to crotch. My arm was stiff for a week. The one I made the date to meet her at the synagogue for her yoga class and never showed up
She could have been my last lover
these days i would rather breathe than fuck
I got to clean out throw out lighten up
I am no hunter s thompson
ain't going to leave no mess for my family to clean up
going to fight the good fight take it as far as I can
with my last ounce strength going to move to Oregon
or walk a beach on the thiird coast
worried about my sister
Homeboy told her about the nodules
Finally got through to doctors offfice
after two days
trying to get the results of the ct scan
Doctor was not in
PA felt uncomfortable talking to me about the results
Homeboy said that don't sound good
The pain will start soon
Going to go with out dope relief as far as I can
he says they will have to knock me out and take a look
hard to keep an interest in world affairs
I think maybe I might have to go to emails
spilling my guts in public not so good.
this is just a melancholy putz
scared
but relieved
I really liked artman's step in the grave ku
going to dance on my grave
Miracles I don't expect
but who knows
it could happen
then what?