old man joke

[jimboloco]

{from Jayboid]

The Letter

An old Italian man lived alone in the country.
He wanted to dig his tomato garden,
but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in
prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his
predicament.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't
be able
to plant my tomato garden this year.
I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden
plot.
If you were here my troubles would be over.
I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Not for nothing, but don't dig up that garden.
That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love Vinnie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At 4 a.m. the next morning,
FBI agents and local police arrived and dug
up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That same day the old man received another letter from
his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.
That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Vinnie

: ) Makes ya wonder if we can get free service from the FBI with their warped wiretapping and survailance.



1072 Days the US Military has been in Iraq
2287+ US Deaths 16653+ Wounded http://www.tampabayvfp.org http://www.icasualties.org
What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or in the holy name of liberty and democracy? Mohandas Gandhi.

[stilltrucking]

Well it looks like the 21st century is off to a good start. But we got our work cut out for us if we want to beat the record.

Grand Total:
Well, what can you say about a century that begins and ends with killing in Sarajevo? "Good riddance" springs to mind. Somewhere around 180 million people have been killed in one Twentieth Century atrocity or another -- a far larger total than for any other century in human history.
Now before you let this number wash over you as being too big to comprehend, let's put it in perspective: Let's say that you're the receptionist in the Afterlife (a 9 to 5 job, 5 days a week, with two weeks vacation -- which comes to 40 hours per week and 50 weeks per year), and it's your job to simply ask the name of each victim, enter it into a computer and direct them to Room 504 for processing (a task that takes 5 seconds, which means that you can process 720 per hour), and these 180 million people were to approach your desk one after another without letup. At this rate, it would take you only one hour to decide that this is a really depressing job, and you would have been better off working as a checkout clerk at the Food Lion instead.

http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/war-1900.htm


Perezoso used to say that Americans do not realize how bloody the 20th century was. I miss that guy. Me, Hester, and e-dog seem to be the only ones here who do.

I could not understand all that insult humor he used to get into. He and his pals would go on and on calling each other queers. I figured it must have a dating ritual or something.

Well anyway I suppose I should put something funny here. Well it struck me as funny. It is from that Zombie Hall of Shame that microbe posted







When one young anarchist expressed infuriated incomprehension that the Christians could be allowed to display their messages, a friendly but stern policeman patiently explained to him the definition of "free speech." The anarchist retorted, "But who the hell do they think they are, saying that shit here?"

[jimboloco]

Well if'n I was to go in drag it would definately be as a rebellious Jezebell.

[stilltrucking]

"She'll turn the music on you, you won't have to think twice
She's pure as New York snow, she got Bette Davis eyes"

Yeah it is a good thing we bot state legeslatures like South Dakaota to keep her pregnant and barefoot.

[jimboloco]

you hussy!