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Would You Buy A Used Wife From This Man?
Pimps and Polygamy
for release 05-09-06
Washington D.C.
The FBI must really be scraping the bucket. They have added sect leader Warren Jeffs to the Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list for arranging marriages between underage girls and older men. I thought that the Ten Most Wanted list was reserved for killers and bandits and villains like Osama bin Laden. This is the first time in my memory that they have put a pimp on the list. You would think they would just send the vice-squad out to pick him up. That's what they would usually do about a pimp. But this one has himself all tricked out to look like a man of god. I guess things must be a little slow in the crime-busting business these days.
Speaking of pimps and whores, I'm reminded of John Walsh. You know, he's that little sleeaze-ball wannabe brownshirt who rode the wave of sympathy for his kidnapped son into a career as a sensational psuedo-journalist. I get sick every time I see the guy. He's a lower life-form than the crooks he pretends to catch on TV.
America's Most Wanted and shows like it have helped to make a mockery of our justice system by portraying the process as a tawdry burlesque which glamorizes bounty hunters, vigilantes and cowboy cops and has helped turn us into a nation of snitches.
After observing circuses like the recent Moussaoui trial, The Poet's Eye can see that very little separates jurisprudence from show-business these days. As soon as I heard the announcement that Jeffs was on the top ten, I thought about Jim Jones and David Koresh and how America loves this type of story. It has everything--a cult with a wild-eyed leader who uses the mask of religion to disguise his nefarious dope-taking and child molestation and god only knows what other types of depravity while building some shady empire on the backs of his loyal and tight-lipped followers.
Why is this same story so eternally fascinating to us? Perhaps is is because the possibility that any person could have such persuasive charisma that hundreds or even thousands of people would surrender their free will, their autonomy, their property and even their lives in order to follow him is just so unfathomable.
I'm sure a movie must already be on the drawing boards in Hollywood. Anthony Hopkins' agent has probably had calls, "Can he do a Mormon accent?" All that's needed to clinch the deal is a nice juicy stand-off between the FBI and a cadre of the faithful gathered around their messiah and vowing not to be taken alive. Then they are all transported to heaven by potion or pyre. You know the formula--you mix Jesus Christ with vast wealth and illicit sex and secret organizations and glorious death and viola, you have the Da Vinci Code.
I gave up polygamy as a young man. Oh, it was terrific for the first few nights but soon I realized that one wife is enough for any man to tolerate. So, I've settled for monogamy, but I'm considering hemi-ogamy or semi-ogamy.
Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me lucifer
’cause I’m in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I’ll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
--Rolling Stones