10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong (wit)

[Zlatko Waterman]

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong:
[Reposted via Mercurial Mary]

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong:

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage would be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing, can express mutual consent, and sign a marriage contract.

( from Mercurial Mary)

[bohonato]

I handed flyers out that had these on them back in November! Ah, they're so great.

[abcrystcats]

Where do I get copies?

I'm cutting and pasting this to a friend who would appreciate it. Hope you don't mind ....

[stilltrucking]

10. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing, can express mutual consent, and sign a marriage contract.

That is the one I like the best. Since a supreme court decision in 1886 corporations in the United States have personhood. I want to marry Halliburton.


"I am going to marry my novels and have little short stories for children."
-Jack Kerouac

[bohonato]

Its slightly different, and has 12 reasons instead of 10.

http://grove.ufl.edu/~ggsa/pdf_docs/gaymarriage.pdf

[Zlatko Waterman]

Thanks, bohonato, for the expanded version . . .

Kat: This was posted by my friend on MySpace-- Alex . . .

--Z
( aka "K")

( the following with a heavy Greek accent . . .)

" . . .I have other names-- if you are interested . . ."

( Anthony Quinn in ZORBA THE GREEK)

[Traveller13]

Britney spears gor married for 55 hours just for fun???