You know the one. Curtain goes up? You don't know your lines.
We were at the theater and the audience was ready for the show and nobody in the show was prepared. It was worse than just me not being prepared. Not one person in the show knew what they were supposed to be doing. It was a total fiasco.
Bing Crosby was there. Yeah, I know he's dead but he was in my dream and he had a wireless microphone and a CD. He handed me the CD and asked me to take it to the booth so they could play it for him. It was his accompaniment. I was so upset that we hadn't given the tech person in the booth the CD in advance! This was Bing Crosby, after all! I ran the CD up to the booth but our tech guy wasn't there! Instead, there were 4 teenagers sitting on the equipment. I handed one of them the CD and said, "Put this on for Bing Crosby! Hurry!" and one of them put it in the CD player and pushed play and the loudest, most obnoxious headbanging metal music started to play!
I met Bing back on the stage and he said, "I'm sorry, Doreen. I can't sing to that." I motioned for the boys in the booth to turn it off.
Bing was sooooo professional and casual about the whole thing. He looked at me and said, "Doreen, I have an idea! Why don't you accompany me on the piano?" By this time, the audience was talking among themselves and laughing. I said, "Sure, Bing! What would you like me to play?" He didn't answer me so I sat down at the piano anyway. But, just like in real life, I couldn't figure out how to play anything!
Next thing I knew, I was in the wings talking to LR who had a roster of the performers in his hand. "When do I go on?," I asked, and we looked at the roster together but couldn't find my name. Funny thing was, none of the performers listed were performers I had scheduled to be in the show. I didn't recognize any of the names. "Who put this roster together?," I asked. "Pete," LR told me. "Who the heck is Pete?" I asked, and LR pointed back stage and assured me that Pete was back there and knew what he was doing.
By this time, several different performers had come on stage and made fools of themselves, playing music off-key, not remembering the lyrics, and getting angry at each other for screwing up.
The audience was noticably moved!
They all got up and left.
Perfect!
