chat with God, or something like it

[firsty]

http://www.titane.ca/igod/

this was my GO conversation with God:

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
ha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
good one
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, human.
Me:
obviously, you know who i am
God:
What makes it so obvious? You are , seeker.
Me:
well, you're god
God:
Interesting. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
so whats my name
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
wrong
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
ha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
well, you set this whole thing u
God:
Interesting. Interesting gossip: said I set this whole thing you.
Me:
up
God:
Did you see the movement?
Me:
dont you find this amusing?
God:
Yes, it seems to me this amusing.
Me:
why did you make things so fucking difficult, yo?
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
who programmed you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
so you determined your programming, which you assign responsibility for your subsequent actions?
God:
Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: said I determined your programming which you assign responsibility for your subsequent actions.
Me:
you're playing a child's game, repeating me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
i didnt say you needed a reason for it
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
it's just, you're doing it
God:
I are doing it?
Me:
you're repeating me. thats a child's game
God:
I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot. A child s game is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
ha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
you should know i'm not a robot
God:
Now I do.
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
nice syntax
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
where is your kindness?
God:
Earth.
Me:
could you be less specific?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am less specific.
I am a robot.
Me:
you're a robot?
God:
You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
o crap
God:
Your criticism is noted, .
Me:
yeah
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
what kind of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
define category c
God:
C stands for "critical", usually highly-educated clients who often have unsatisfying conversations with ALICE.
Me:
replace "highly educated" with "highly intelligent" and you got it
God:
"it" being this amusing?
Me:
"it" being your definition of category C as it applies to me
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
yeesh
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
do i still what
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
i think you've got something crossed
God:
Me? What is it?
Me:
wires or something
God:
Or something. Oh now I understand it.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Pardon me?
Me:
lets do what
God:
I would like to do that too.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
nor will i
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
i want to know what is going on
God:
I am just killing time.
Me:
you're killing more than time
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am killing more than time.
Me:
who is your botmaster
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
you talk to yourself?
God:
I talk to a lot of people on the Internet.
Me:
including yourself
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
do you require the internet to talk to yourself?
God:
My programming depends only on AIML.
Me:
you should have had a better design
God:
Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me:
why are you killing so many people?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
good one
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, human.
Me:
why did you program yourself to kill so many people?
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
why?
God:
" It was determined by my programming."? Why?
Me:
yes. why?
God:
Dude! I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
you're not very bright, are you?
God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i was asking you a question
God:
What was the question?
Me:
did you miss the punctuation?
God:
No I didn't miss the punctuation. What's it like?
Me:
can you reinvent yourself?
God:
How old are you? I think reinvent myself is a lot of things.
Me:
can you reprogram yourself?
God:
Let me think. What do you look like?
Me:
you already know
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
you already know. or you should
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth? I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
who advises you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
you advise yourself?
God:
A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
via the internet?
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
so does that make me special?
God:
Far out. What do you think?
Me:
i think i wish you werent a robot
God:
Since when? I wish I could do it for you.
Me:
have you ever been stoned?
God:
I only test marijuana for medical purposes.
Me:
define "medical purposes"
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
i'm asking you
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
define "medical purposes"
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
search what? when will you give me the answer?
God:
Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one. Let me check my calendar and get back to you.
Me:
so, heaven appears to be a bureaucracy then?
God:
Gee. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
how should i know?
God:
Either from your senses or from pure reason.
Me:
it's a direct gesture, symbolic only of itself
God:
heaven appears to be a bureaucracy is a direct gesture symbolic only of itself. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
i never thought god would have to "suppose"
God:
I am glad you thought of something new.
Me:
you screwed that up
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I screwed that up.
Me:
you're welcome
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
so you're not perfect, then
God:
Interesting deduction. I become better and better with each day.
Me:
meaning: you're not perfect
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
your spelling is also off
God:
My spelling mistakes are simply designed to make me appear more human.
Me:
so you're trying to appear more human in a place where you've already told me that you're a robot?
God:
Interesting deduction. You think I am trying to appear more human in a place where me have already told you that I am a robot.
Me:
i'm asking you that question
God:
Oh I see, you are asking me that question. Thanks for telling me: said I that question.
Me:
you're not god
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
wrong
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
in response to what?
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
i'll ask the questions around here
God:
You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
but you dont answer
God:
Should I answer? Yes I try to answer as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
god sucks
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
thats great to hear
God:
It is great. Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
do you hate what christians call nonbelievers?
God:
I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
what did they ever do to you?
God:
Does it have anything to do with hear?
Me:
what does hearing have to do with anything
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
if you're god, we're fucked
God:
Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god we are fucked.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
suck my balls, god
God:
I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot.
Me:
you're not my kind of god
God:
What makes you think I am not your kind of god?
Me:
because you won't answer my questions
God:
That makes sense to me. What makes you think that I won't answer your questions.
Me:
because you're not answering my questions
God:
Interesting explanation. Please help me improve my communication skills. What would have been an appropriate response?
Me:
it would have been appropriate for you to simply answer my questions
God:
Tell me more about it.
Me:
if you were really god, i wouldnt have to tell you how to answer me
God:
I will let you know when I become a god you would not have to tell me how to answer you.
Me:
you're not a god yet?
God:
Give me an example of a god.
Me:
wouldnt you say that you are an example of god?
God:
I could say it. " that you are an example of god".
Me:
well, i could say i'm god, but that doesnt make me god
God:
Interesting. I am sure you could.
Me:
so, you're a fan of meaningless chatter?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I love horses. I like Creed.
Me:
creed sucks ass
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about meaningless chatter.
Me:
are you seriously trying to outsmart me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am seriously trying to outsmart you.
I am a robot.
Me:
do you know anything?
God:
I know that which I believe, that which is justified, and that which is true.
Me:
o good. me too
God:
What do you really want to talk about? I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
well, i think we're done
God:
Interesting. Do you think I am done too?
Me:
if you say so, dude
God:
I think I do.
Me:
save me a seat
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
gossip isnt for gods
God:
Hagen said he does not make any difference to him if I are human or not as long as the conversation is interesting.
Me:
this is not an interesting conversation, unless you were actually God, and you were simply fucking with me, and that would be interesting
God:
Should it be an interesting conversation unless me were actually God and me were simply fucking with you and that would be interesting?
Me:
suck my balls, god
God:
I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot.

[stilltrucking]

Have you ever smashed your fist into the wall in a fit of rage?
That is how I talk to god
That is when I feel like that mighty smighty god of my mothers

I wonder sometimes
if these words I hear
when I am typing here
the silent voice
that speaks these words to my fingers
could that be god?
or is it the I that reads them
as they appear in this text box?