my heart is broken

[izeveryboyin]

I have lost my grandmother. this afternoon i got the call from my mother who was at the hospital. "Mama's gone" she said. The first few minutes is all waiting. You can do nothing but wait for it to all sink in. and then, like a tidal wave it crashes down on you. It crashes down on you and all you can feel is the emptiness. The coulda woulda shouldas. No one can tell me how to understand this. No one could have prepared me for how horrible it feels. How swindled I feel. I have never felt like this before. Out of all the things in my life that have broken me down, nothing has ever hurt this bad. But I can't keep ripping apart over this. I know that the pain, the bloodclots, the infections, the kidney failure... it's over for her. she's so much better than I am. And that's beautiful. It's so beautiful to know she's better than me now. There will never be another hug that soft, or a kiss that sincere. There will never be an "I love you" that is so tender and forgiving. Despite everything, it was always real. She was always real. I love you Hattie May. Whatever higher plane you may be living on now, I loved you here, I'll love you there, I'll love you forever.

[Doreen Peri]

ooohhhh... izzzyy!! I'm soooo sorry! I am crying with you after reading this... I'm so very sorry. ((((hugs))))) much love and sympathies to you and your family.

[Dave The Dov]

My sympathies as well. I went through the same thing after my grandmothers passed on.
_________________
Honda Pilot

[Arcadia]

besos, Izzy

Arcadia

[Anonymous-one]

[judih]

deepest sympathy to you dear i.
accept my warmest hug. Hugs help.

[stilltrucking]

The first days are the hardest.
It has been over thirty years since my grandmother died.

Such a feeling of loss, a numb feeling when I realized she was gone. I would never see her again. But over the years I have had many dreams about her. And I never woke from a dream about her feeling depressed. She was the most powerfull woman I have ever known.

Codolence seems like such a cold word but that is all I have to offer.