an email from that guy your trying to be nice to but...
- Axanderdeath
- Posts: 954
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an email from that guy your trying to be nice to but...
after i wrote you that last email I went and drank on top of the Vs. then did some coke. then lost my bank card and went to the bank on saterday all cracked out and demanded to get a new card so I could "get my fucking money out of the bank! I give you my fucking buiness don't I!? Well I want my fucking money that I earned. I could come in here with crack pipe fucking burns all over my face and I should still should get my FUCKING money!!!!!" ( I only snort coke but I was making a deluded point)--then one of the friends I got fucked up with (i paid for everthing) calls me at 2 am last night and say "well I am not blaming you but I got a fucked up knee from wresseling with you. they had to drain the blood." I said that was too bad, and did he have anymoney to pay me back and he should give me more of his valumes--he said he would, but his roomate had to come out--they were both extremly drunk... when I got back to my house I realized it was 2 am and became pissed so I called him back and told him that I never wanted to hear from him or any of the people that are assoiciated with him ever again in his pathetic life... I used the word cunt profusely... then I took the valume and tried to go to sleep--ringing my hands and angry--shaking with anger. at work the next day the girl I have the huge fucking crush on was ignoreing me--I kept trying to talk to her--small talk, not too much like how are you doing today--how about the weather--and she was obviosly acting pissed--so I asked her "what is up are you in a bad mood?" and she said "yes I am having a bad day like you have some times." so I said " look is this about me not taslking to you on friday:>?" and she said yes-- she said "you are acting like a baby. you want to work with me all the time." (we work in the same room) "I think you are acting like a baby." I said. "I asked you to help me with a toy order that came in and you said okay--I asked you like 3 times." she says "oh I was working all day." like I was not or something. infact kim I work harder than anyone else in the whole fucking building! so I said "fine then I won't talk to you ever again then." and she said "you say that..." and I left the room. I was so angry I was about to quit. and I still think this girl is great? what the fuck? am I so fucking guilty about my own "bad" behavouir that I alow myself to be a victom of people that care nothing for me. why do I care about this girl that cares nothing for me? why do I feel like crying all the time--why do my moods change ever two minutes--why do I tell you--why do I want to keep realtionships with people like you that have driven me to emotional breakdowns--why do I think that I can be saved by people that hate me--this girl does not know the bad things I do--she knows nothing of it. she dislikes me because I like her so much and she is afriad of being hurt--so fuck her right--but this sucks I have to work with her everyday--when I see her I want to cry--I think she laughs about it behind my back.--oh and at the bank I made a seen and securty was called and I faught the two of them--I was doing an okay job--they were smacking my head on the ground and I was yelling "I just want to take money from my bank! people I implore you!" then the cops came. they pepersprayed me--but I still kept yelling at them and curseing at them--useing cunt as much as possible--my knew fasvorate swear word... then at the cop shop they bashed my head against the floor untill my face started to bleed and I started sobing "please stop I am sorry--you win you are the boss. I am shit don't hurt me please." all the cops were cheering the guy on--"get some blood Bratser! kick his ass." then in the cell I yelled over and over about what injustest that they had done, and how I would sue there pig pants off--and how I should not be afraid of people that are sposedta be out there to help people--not to arrest people that try to take there own money from the bank...
no charges were laid...
anyway kim. after christmass I am going back to halifax. I am a mess. I am on the verge of killing myself. I am weak. I have a hard time smileing, and I think it would be a good idea if you do not talk to me or email me when I get back. i am a bad fucking guy, a shit, a fuck up--I might hate women, even though I do not want to. really I feel like nothing and dead and I know my parents will help me a bit when I get back--and if not I know some people there that can not turn me down if I quit drinking which I am trying to do--I do not think I can live through another christmass on the bottle. last one I got a gawning ulsur. but kim I like you--you are a good girl but don't fucking get in touch with me after christmass because I am afriad that history will repeat itself.
anyway that is how things are going with me. my karma is all fucked up--I thought I was due for some good but I am just geting bombarded with pain and suffering. tryed to make my self loathing and mysogany as entertaining as possible--this was all true kim. i feel very unsafe here--I am going home because I feel alone and in danger here. it is crazy and I am crazy--there is my soul right under the mustard stain on my sleeve.
and since you ;liked it soo much last time I wrote it
ta ta
geoff
no charges were laid...
anyway kim. after christmass I am going back to halifax. I am a mess. I am on the verge of killing myself. I am weak. I have a hard time smileing, and I think it would be a good idea if you do not talk to me or email me when I get back. i am a bad fucking guy, a shit, a fuck up--I might hate women, even though I do not want to. really I feel like nothing and dead and I know my parents will help me a bit when I get back--and if not I know some people there that can not turn me down if I quit drinking which I am trying to do--I do not think I can live through another christmass on the bottle. last one I got a gawning ulsur. but kim I like you--you are a good girl but don't fucking get in touch with me after christmass because I am afriad that history will repeat itself.
anyway that is how things are going with me. my karma is all fucked up--I thought I was due for some good but I am just geting bombarded with pain and suffering. tryed to make my self loathing and mysogany as entertaining as possible--this was all true kim. i feel very unsafe here--I am going home because I feel alone and in danger here. it is crazy and I am crazy--there is my soul right under the mustard stain on my sleeve.
and since you ;liked it soo much last time I wrote it
ta ta
geoff
thus spoke G.A.P.
- gypsyjoker
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yeah Geoff, i don't why I like your stuff so much, maybe because I found some one that writes sloopier It was a pretty fast read. Not sure how to take it, I am such a sucker for writen word. Did all that stuff really happen, I wonder. Don't tell me, I like to wonder.
You are more of a threat to her than she is to you.
I can't remember her name, beuatiful woman, barely a woman, she used to post to litkicks, she liked torey amos a lot.
Anywhay she said something about the threat of a cock and balls.
I am sitting here with a broken heart and sad imaginings, wondering if this will be our last hanukkah together, christmas too, I enjoyed reading it geoff, hell of a write. you took my mind off my troubles for a while, reading oblivion. who the hell are those little men who sit inside our skulls in the pitch dark see these photons bouncing off this page
keep on writing.
jt
You are more of a threat to her than she is to you.
I can't remember her name, beuatiful woman, barely a woman, she used to post to litkicks, she liked torey amos a lot.
Anywhay she said something about the threat of a cock and balls.
I am sitting here with a broken heart and sad imaginings, wondering if this will be our last hanukkah together, christmas too, I enjoyed reading it geoff, hell of a write. you took my mind off my troubles for a while, reading oblivion. who the hell are those little men who sit inside our skulls in the pitch dark see these photons bouncing off this page
keep on writing.
jt
Free Rice
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'Blessed is he who was not born, Or he, who having been born, has died. But as for us who live, woe unto us, Because we see the afflictions of Zion, And what has befallen Jerusalem." Pseudepigrapha
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'Blessed is he who was not born, Or he, who having been born, has died. But as for us who live, woe unto us, Because we see the afflictions of Zion, And what has befallen Jerusalem." Pseudepigrapha
- Axanderdeath
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gypsyjoker wrote:yeah Geoff, i don't why I like your stuff so much, maybe because I found some one that writes sloopier It was a pretty fast read. Not sure how to take it, I am such a sucker for writen word. Did all that stuff really happen, I wonder. Don't tell me, I like to wonder.
You are more of a threat to her than she is to you.
I can't remember her name, beuatiful woman, barely a woman, she used to post to litkicks, she liked torey amos a lot.
Anywhay she said something about the threat of a cock and balls.
I am sitting here with a broken heart and sad imaginings, wondering if this will be our last hanukkah together, christmas too, I enjoyed reading it geoff, hell of a write. you took my mind off my troubles for a while, reading oblivion. who the hell are those little men who sit inside our skulls in the pitch dark see these photons bouncing off this page
keep on writing.
jt
I do not know why but you and all your other little names you write under always seem to make me SO HAPPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because I am a happy writer and show the happy happy side of my love filled life I guess you feel that you need to follow in suit.
at least you read it
ps
hope it did not hurt you eyes or rather I hope my righting did not hurt your comprehension of my soul splashed out on computer text.
thus spoke G.A.P.
- gypsyjoker
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These is your cum filled sock puppet speaking Geoff, I made him just for you. No you have not hurt my eyes. As I mentioned to you the first I ever posted to you...I am a blind ex-truck driver, I poked them both out choking my chicken. Not like my mother did not warn me.
keep on writing Geoff.
keep on writing Geoff.
Free Rice
Avatar Courtesy of the Baron de Hirsch Fund
'Blessed is he who was not born, Or he, who having been born, has died. But as for us who live, woe unto us, Because we see the afflictions of Zion, And what has befallen Jerusalem." Pseudepigrapha
Avatar Courtesy of the Baron de Hirsch Fund
'Blessed is he who was not born, Or he, who having been born, has died. But as for us who live, woe unto us, Because we see the afflictions of Zion, And what has befallen Jerusalem." Pseudepigrapha
- stilltrucking
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- Axanderdeath
- Posts: 954
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- Location: montreal or somewhere in canada or the world
you kind of insult me.gypsyjoker wrote:These is your cum filled sock puppet speaking Geoff, I made him just for you. No you have not hurt my eyes. As I mentioned to you the first I ever posted to you...I am a blind ex-truck driver, I poked them both out choking my chicken. Not like my mother did not warn me.
keep on writing Geoff.
.
thus spoke G.A.P.
- stilltrucking
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- gypsyjoker
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I wasn't trying to be nice to you
I liked it
I got no complaints about your style
May you never have the problems of a mid list author
keep on writing
non phallic masculinity comes hard when you walk around with tented pants
no insult intended, just a fact.
I always thought it was interesting that Holden Caufield never mentioned once having an erection. I suppose it wasn't that kind of book. But boners are such a fact of life at that age, I am a sick old man I suppose
but I wonder about stuff like that. maybe I was some kind of freak when I was that age.
thanks for giving an old man something to do, cat stevens what's his name now, I am old but I am happy, almost.
I liked it
I got no complaints about your style
May you never have the problems of a mid list author
keep on writing
non phallic masculinity comes hard when you walk around with tented pants
no insult intended, just a fact.
I always thought it was interesting that Holden Caufield never mentioned once having an erection. I suppose it wasn't that kind of book. But boners are such a fact of life at that age, I am a sick old man I suppose
but I wonder about stuff like that. maybe I was some kind of freak when I was that age.
thanks for giving an old man something to do, cat stevens what's his name now, I am old but I am happy, almost.
Free Rice
Avatar Courtesy of the Baron de Hirsch Fund
'Blessed is he who was not born, Or he, who having been born, has died. But as for us who live, woe unto us, Because we see the afflictions of Zion, And what has befallen Jerusalem." Pseudepigrapha
Avatar Courtesy of the Baron de Hirsch Fund
'Blessed is he who was not born, Or he, who having been born, has died. But as for us who live, woe unto us, Because we see the afflictions of Zion, And what has befallen Jerusalem." Pseudepigrapha
- Axanderdeath
- Posts: 954
- Joined: December 20th, 2004, 9:24 pm
- Location: montreal or somewhere in canada or the world
gypsyjoker wrote:I wasn't trying to be nice to you
I liked it
I got no complaints about your style
May you never have the problems of a mid list author
keep on writing
non phallic masculinity comes hard when you walk around with tented pants
no insult intended, just a fact.
I always thought it was interesting that Holden Caufield never mentioned once having an erection. I suppose it wasn't that kind of book. But boners are such a fact of life at that age, I am a sick old man I suppose
but I wonder about stuff like that. maybe I was some kind of freak when I was that age.
thanks for giving an old man something to do, cat stevens what's his name now, I am old but I am happy, almost.
okay, here is what it is. you comment on everybody's shit. with me half the time it makes no sense what so ever. understand? I like the fact you think I do not know where ducks go in the winter (what ever that was sposeta mean anyway)--I do not walk around with hard ons, but yes I do get them. and I do get girls, but I never care about the ones I get. I am only giving you fuel--so I do not know if people are commenting on the writing I did or the shit conversations we always seem to have. I am trying not to be rude here--really I am. that was an email--I do not spell check my emails... some times you may think you are having a joke with me but you are really bothering me... makeing light of something that I take as a very real and hard and sad and depressing thing... I am not going to get in to the phycological aspects of it--but I am sure since I said that you will give me some links--links that I will not read. thank you for reading and if I ever do come out with that book I always say that one day I will come out with I hope you buy a copy for each one of your internet "handles"...
thus spoke G.A.P.
- Axanderdeath
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- gypsyjoker
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Links what links?
Did I post any links?
Did I mention any links
call me an idiot but I got no idea what you mean
When I mention the typos and misspellings that is kind of a pre emptive strike because I did not want to read a bunch of bitch replies about you sloopy writing btw that is not a link, that is underlining of my mistakes it is an idiocyncry of mine, Reminds me something Sylvia Plath used to do but no own has figured out why she underlined certain words in her journal.
You the one wants to get pulished here. Just remember what Zlatko the waterman said, "all true poets are languge criminals. You can get away with murder here, just call yourself a writer.
SO anyway this is all new ground for me
I got no complaint about your style
if you can't take a joke
go shit in your hat
inFriendship
jacktilles.
"when lives were lost at the turn of a joke"
Did I post any links?
Did I mention any links
call me an idiot but I got no idea what you mean
When I mention the typos and misspellings that is kind of a pre emptive strike because I did not want to read a bunch of bitch replies about you sloopy writing btw that is not a link, that is underlining of my mistakes it is an idiocyncry of mine, Reminds me something Sylvia Plath used to do but no own has figured out why she underlined certain words in her journal.
You the one wants to get pulished here. Just remember what Zlatko the waterman said, "all true poets are languge criminals. You can get away with murder here, just call yourself a writer.
SO anyway this is all new ground for me
I got no complaint about your style
if you can't take a joke
go shit in your hat
inFriendship
jacktilles.
"when lives were lost at the turn of a joke"
Free Rice
Avatar Courtesy of the Baron de Hirsch Fund
'Blessed is he who was not born, Or he, who having been born, has died. But as for us who live, woe unto us, Because we see the afflictions of Zion, And what has befallen Jerusalem." Pseudepigrapha
Avatar Courtesy of the Baron de Hirsch Fund
'Blessed is he who was not born, Or he, who having been born, has died. But as for us who live, woe unto us, Because we see the afflictions of Zion, And what has befallen Jerusalem." Pseudepigrapha
- gypsyjoker
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couple of things i forgot to comment one, well only one really
I did not comment on the bits about suicide
and
You did not comment on you being a bigger threat to her than she is to you. (does that need clarifying?)
What was I supposed to say, oh geoff please don't kill your self, you have a passion for writing, men have commited suicide over writer's block, HST for example
these are all temporary problems
suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
just fucking keep on writing
I don't know how often you think of suicide
I think about it guite a bit
But I smoke a pack a day.
I never knew how these sock puppets work out
At least he don't jack off into his socks anymore.
gypsyjoker just what is happening tonight.
I did not comment on the bits about suicide
and
You did not comment on you being a bigger threat to her than she is to you. (does that need clarifying?)
What was I supposed to say, oh geoff please don't kill your self, you have a passion for writing, men have commited suicide over writer's block, HST for example
these are all temporary problems
suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
just fucking keep on writing
I don't know how often you think of suicide
I think about it guite a bit
But I smoke a pack a day.
I never knew how these sock puppets work out
At least he don't jack off into his socks anymore.
gypsyjoker just what is happening tonight.
Free Rice
Avatar Courtesy of the Baron de Hirsch Fund
'Blessed is he who was not born, Or he, who having been born, has died. But as for us who live, woe unto us, Because we see the afflictions of Zion, And what has befallen Jerusalem." Pseudepigrapha
Avatar Courtesy of the Baron de Hirsch Fund
'Blessed is he who was not born, Or he, who having been born, has died. But as for us who live, woe unto us, Because we see the afflictions of Zion, And what has befallen Jerusalem." Pseudepigrapha
- Axanderdeath
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- stilltrucking
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Do you remember ModernAncient on litkicks? He said he was about 15 or 16 this about six years ago. He wrote one about taking a shot gun and blowing his parents away. Spooked the hell out of everybody. Pretty good writer.
I can't say I never tried to commit suicide, I was very curious about it when I was 8 years old. Tied a belt around my throat reached up and put the other end around a coat hook and leaned forward. Almost panicked trying to get my fingers inside the nose to pull it loose. I remember feeling so unloved at the time, maybe that was what drove me to it.
nothing to do with your e-mail, I was thinking of it as a screed,
Halifax is that on the coast? I dream of Nova Scotia.
I am just a compulsive scribbler Geoff
keep on writing
I can't say I never tried to commit suicide, I was very curious about it when I was 8 years old. Tied a belt around my throat reached up and put the other end around a coat hook and leaned forward. Almost panicked trying to get my fingers inside the nose to pull it loose. I remember feeling so unloved at the time, maybe that was what drove me to it.
nothing to do with your e-mail, I was thinking of it as a screed,
Halifax is that on the coast? I dream of Nova Scotia.
I am just a compulsive scribbler Geoff
keep on writing
- Axanderdeath
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