"what do you get when gobble down sweets..."

[izeveryboyin]

"...eating as much as an elephant eats. what are you at getting terrible fat? what do you think will come... of... that? I don't like the look of it."



Sometimes, in the morning, you give a great heave in the toilet, turn on some Willy Wonka and chill the fuck out, tettering dangerously on the brink of being late for work, and not caring b/c... well... it's work, and Lord knows we don't need to be bothered with that. Besides, I think we should spend less time worrying about work and bills and more time worrying about the different breeds of cats, and why the word "rocketship" is so fucking cool. Or perhaps we could spend 8 hours a day testing various brands of cocoa to determine, once and for all, that there is no hot chocolate more hot chocolately than Swiss Miss. Or we could watch "Garden State" and make interesting commentary that would make Zach Braff proud. Some example of this are:

point a: how come Natalie Portman is not more naked in the swimming pool scene?

point b: is it truly necessary for Timtembe to say "peace out player" to the obviously white and not down Zach Braff? I think not.

point c: why muct Carl be treated like a jackass? I think he was on to something. "we all have dreams, I know I do. I'd like to talk to you about an exciting offer that people are talking about." I for one was very interested, as any normal human being would be at the words "exciting offer". And if people are talking about it, shouldn't we know what it is? You bet your sweet Aspercreme. there'd better be a sequel where he tells me all about it.

If commentary is not your thing, go rent Willy Wonka and learn all the words to the oompa loompa songs. I assure you, it IS a good time. Little orange men with green hair, rhyming better than Public Enemy, with the melodious voices of Donnie and Marie Osmond? I think we have a winner. Plus all the kids at the playground will think you're cool and come up to you periodically for lyric verifications and will consult you on the accompanying dance moves b/c, let's face it, you're the fucking expert, buddy. If not, fake it. They believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny. Little kids are dumb.

END.