The dream started normally enough
You and I at a party of literary types
with discreet tattoos and hair in spikes
discussing certain authors and schools
standing in circles trying to look cool
Somehow I lost you in the sea of faces
you talking to the abstract artist with chains
me with the ballerina describing her pains
I could not find you no matter where I looked
my king was checked; my queen was rooked
I searched and searched and began to panic
It was the classic I Can't Find You dream
the scenery passed in a human stream
faces ahead and voices behind you
I had to wake up; wake up to find you
your ancient pains can crawl into my breast
like a slow herpes simplex complex beyond
my understanding and my body aches with fever
your hurt is my hurt and wrenches me while
I try to let it pass; I can't always let it pass
we are all weak as jelly in some private way
all I know is your opinion of yourself
tiny muscles around my eyes start to spasm
you can't see the spasms behind my sternum
I would be ashamed if you did; weak as jelly
our bond is too close for me not to feel your
shame and salvation; why we go to church in
the first place, not knowing that evil lives there
too and trades in weakness and jelly; bitter jelly
no, don't hide your pain from me even though
i must relive it and open the files fermented
my body shakes from the fear and anger and
shame of your memories fire wired ventricles
and auricles quaking out of beat. Tell me don't
tell me I want to know so I can destroy them
like an angel in wrath going to battle for you.
we had words and you lost a verse
and when we converse this happens
you want cheesy love songs and I want
hard jazz so we compromise and forget
the poetry you had on your mind.
"I just quit the program. Nothing's the same."
we were naked in the age of miracles
we were innocent once before the flood
the internet is modern Babel
look at where you stood
look at where you stood
---Lrod circa 2003
Flash From the Past--for Doreen
- Lightning Rod
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