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Scooter Libby and a Monopoly on Justice
for release 07-04-07
Washington DC
by Lighting Rod
Let's talk about the punishment fitting the crime. Ok, Mr. President, you have chosen to pardon your buddy's buddy, Scooter Libby. Let me rephrase that. You have 'Decided' to commute Scooter's jail time. After all, you are The Decider. You gave Scooter a Get Out of Jail Free card because he fell on his sword for the sake of the regime. And also, you remind us, because the punishment didn't fit the crime.
For the past seven years, I have been a fugitive from the law. There is a Blue Warrant out on me. If a cop walked up to me and said, "Can I see some ID?," I would go directly to jail and not pass Go. Why am I a fugitive? Because the State maintains that I committed the terrible crime of not reporting a change of address to my parole office in a timely fashion. Oops, it was a Chance card.
As my punishment, I have been assigned to the status of non-citizen. I can't drive or go near an airport. I can't travel to a foreign country. I can't get a marriage license or a passport. I have been disappeared. All because of a 'crime' that is really only a paperwork snafu. Does the punishment fit the crime, Mr. President? I'm raising my hand here. If you are passing out Get Out of Jail Free cards. Yes, I'm raising my hand.
Oh, I know that I haven't been faithful to your theory of government, Mr President. I didn't fall on my sword for you like Scooter did. I've been a different type of pain in the side. But as long as you are showing mercy and adjusting the scales of justice like Solomon, would you please consider a pardon for me? I don't think the punishment in my case hardly fit the crime.
I guess it comes down to whether you live on Boardwalk or on Mediterranean Ave. if you go to jail, go directly to jail and not pass go, then you probably live on Mediterranean Ave. If all you have to do is give up the $250,000 that you made because you own the Utility Company, or your friends own it, then you likely live on Boardwalk like Scooter does. That sort of tilts the board in either the game of justice or Monopoly, doesn't it Mr. President? But you hold all the cards, both Chance and Community Chest.
A president can print Get Out of Jail Free cards as easily as he can print money. He is the Decider in Chief. He directs the railroads from the B&O to the Shortline. He can increase the Income Tax and decrease the Luxury Tax. And he can decide if you are In Jail or Just Visiting.
I'm throwing myself on your mercy, Mr. President. Let the punishment fit the crime. I'm asking you to commute my sentence. (would it help if I got a cuddly name like Scooter or Turd Blossom?)
The Poet's Eye sees that the key to Monopoly and Justice is the Chance card. There are two Chance spaces on the Monopoly board, just like there are zero's and double-zero's on a roulette wheel. It's the house edge. If you live on Mediterranean Ave. then you have to go all the way around the board in order to Collect $200 and you have to pass Go To Jail and two Chance cards and assorted rents and taxes. If you live on Boardwalk, all you have to do to collect your $200 is to roll a 1. My advice is to live on Boardwalk.
If monopolies are risky business
For lack of competition
Why is there only one
Monopolies Commission?
To live outside the law, you must be honest.
---Bob Dylan