Freak of Nature

Post by **stilltrucking** » July 28th, 2007, 1:48 pm

As long as you are writing Kayla, I think you will be okay. Go with the flow of the words.

I don't know doreen. I think writing is therapeutic.

Ask the Experts

Is it safe to take antidepressants during pregnancy?
Last updated: December 2006

http://www.babycenter.com/expert/pregna ... /2343.html

Post by **stilltrucking** » July 28th, 2007, 2:04 pm

I am interested in plath most of all because of the complexity of her relationship with her mother. As I try to fathom my own sister's relationship with my mother.

Sorry i got off on that tangent.

Freud wrote about the problem of feminine mascochism, he figured he could learn about it from men's masturbation fantascies.
He tried to theorize about how the Oedipus complex was resolved in girls. He came up with the electra complex. Mourning becomes electra

Izzy all I am trying to do is spice it up for you. Clay told me you were getting bored. I been tippy toeing around you like you were so fragile.

Let me know if I get too spicey.
I hope Nate is trying to be a comfort for you.

I been thinking about penis envy lately
I used to get it a lot when I would take a piss after making love to spider woman. Thinking about where my prick had been. I wonder if she ever got vagina envy thinking about me.

Post by **izeveryboyin** » July 28th, 2007, 8:04 pm

Well D, talking hasn't helped much... therapy I didn't like, but I guess if I want those anti-depressants I'll have to grin and bare it. Or perhaps a miracle will befall me and I'll become deliriously happy due to some extraordinary circumstance... I'm not holding my breath, but a girl can dream.

--k

Post by **Doreen Peri** » July 28th, 2007, 8:16 pm

Actually, I'm not too hip on the anti-depressants. I took prozac when my Dad was dying and it really helped a LOT but when I tried it a second time when my marriage was breaking up, I hated it, hated it hated it hated it! It made me numb, so numb I couldn't cry, I couldn't laugh, I couldn't write, I couldn't do anything but be a zombie. I flushed the shit down the john. Recently, I tried zoloft... and I had to flush those, too. I got heart palpitations that scared the livin shit outa me.

So, here's something more practical. It might not be so easy to do this being 8 months pregnant but it's really good advice. MOVE. I mean physical activity. Walk or swim. LIft weights. Do anything that involves movement. Physical activity releases natural endorphins in your brain. You WILL be happier because you will feel better physically, have more energy, and you'll dig those endorphins, too. Oh and sex. have more sex. After the baby's born use birth control ok? lol

Seriously, girl, I love ya.. and your post is disturbing to me. I fight depression myself and I swear this advice is sound advice. MOVEMENT. No matter how much you can't or don't want to or how hard it is to start doing it, DO it! It WILL help!

Please email me your snail mail address. Lrod got it for me but I lost it. I want to send you something for the baby.

Post by **eugeneherman** » July 29th, 2007, 1:48 am

iz...pills for your ills are a bad piece of advice in my opinion. Any pharmacy anti-depressants only fog the mind and mood. Take comfort from your own blend. Talk is good, just depends on who with!

Post by **Doreen Peri** » July 29th, 2007, 1:59 am

eugeneherman wrote:iz...pills for your ills are a bad piece of advice in my opinion. Any pharmacy anti-depressants only fog the mind and mood. Take comfort from your own blend. Talk is good, just depends on who with!

Exactly! That's what I said! Well spoken! Thank you!

Post by **izeveryboyin** » July 29th, 2007, 9:03 pm

D, I'm trying to maintain my resolve, really, I am, but when you feel like you have lost yourself not b/c it was forced out of you, but simply b/c you gave yourself away, it is so much harder to cope. Being 9months pregnant, no, there's not much I can do in the way of movement, but I will take your advice and move as much as I can. I do seem to feel worse after I've been stuck in the house doing nothing all day. I'm not much for the anti-depressants either. It's a pacifier. It may stop you from crying but you're still hungry. I doubt I'd get into that rotten stuff again. Zoloft stole my sex drive, and my abilty to be human. If I be anything else, I at least need to be human. I try to find strength in others but it is hard when the person who is supposed to be my partner, my supprt, my rock, becomes one of the major problems in my life. I am trying to balance a relationship and cope with the fact that I'm having a baby years before I ever dreamed of doing so. I miss school, and I'm tired of being pregnant. I can't write anything except these ditzy diary ramblings that never seem to have any point. I have lost control of everything that makes me who I am and that's fucking scary. Especially when I realize what kind of life I'm bringing my baby into. It makes me question my ability to be a good parent. It makes me question a lot of things. Maybe I just need a hug... or a cigarette. God I miss smoking.

--k

p.s D, I am about to pm you my snail address.

Post by **jimboloco** » July 30th, 2007, 9:50 am

jesus, jack
between froid,
neetchee
plath
you are trippy
mercy
i din thankyou
was scared of bitch-hounds

all, i did anti-depressants on and off for ten years
they helped me out of a black hole
i learned from them just like i learned from pot and acid
but most of all i grew conceptually
and by the way, this board talk is group therapy here in this sense
a supportive concern
ain't nada wrong with that
it is always good to grow
and if you get into major depression
you need to have the ability to aks for halp
period

today i am gonna hit up my step-son for some toots of grass
i finished working with a head hunter with lymphoma
obsessive compulsive, yet i dig him
he is gonna start chemo today, same kind as that Boston Red Sox pitcher
his role model

plus a small woman recovering from radiation therapy to her cervix
she told me yesterday,
"no guy will even want to look at me"
she is everyman's daughter
a single mom herself

i told het that she needs to find a man who wants her for friendship
and love,

and that she is a loveable woman

hope resolve relilience

and another small woman hiv+ with an asssociated lymphoma
on IV nutrition with inflammation of her esophagus post-chemo
in pain, low blood pressure
her son in trouble with the cops
helped her and visiting hubbie with an extra bed, food for him
brought her meds outside where they visit, smoke, do puzzles,
encourage her

and an old man, engineer, pooped his bed just as i was leaving last nite, got him straight fast before the aides got there
reminded him not to sweat the small stuff, to keep the big picture up front, recovering from treatment, getting his strength back

and so it goes

cognitive therapy is better than anti-depressants by far
more successful and longer lasting
towards growth

bless the child

Post by **izeveryboyin** » July 30th, 2007, 1:00 pm

Well Jim, how's about a cyber hug? I could use one of them.

--k

Post by **jimboloco** » July 30th, 2007, 7:30 pm

there was a retired trucker in texas
who brunched on nietzche from breakfast
at noon he read freud
and snoozed into the void
of an afternoon adrift on his solar plexass

there was a fool in florita
whilst scattered in silly euphoria
when his intellect was wanting
resorted to taunting
the retired trucker's philosophic diasporia

(hugs all around)

and especially for you K~
waiting for the birth of your daughter!
stay safe and well.

Post by **hester_prynne** » July 31st, 2007, 1:22 am

Here's a big ol squeezy cyberhug from me!

Now, the speech.

It was hard to read your posts, it's a hard place to be in. All I can tell you is DON'T GIVE UP. Keep talking about it right here, it's okay, it's real and valid and serious but you can come out of this, I know it. Trust me completely on this.
It's an important time, you are about to have a wonderful baby and yes, you didn't think that you were going to do this now, but here it is! This is easy to accept if you just accept it.

Let it be.
Besides, this baby is special very special. Not to mention lucky because she has you for a mama. You know this in your gut. I think she is your new teacher! She is generating growth in you not only physically but spiritually. Think of it that way, because there is adventure in that attitude waiting for you.
You can get throught this Iz. The wait gets so dreary and gives you so much time to ruminate, it's important to give equal time to positive ruminations. There are so many! Think about it!
Yes, it is very very true, that mid leap is not an easy place to be at all, and you are there. We all know this, it's damn hard. We're all rooting for you in a great way, I can just feel it!
You are doing so well in my eyes, see that, believe it. You are.
And you're writing is damn good readin.
Smoochies
H

Post by **jimboloco** » July 31st, 2007, 8:32 am

Freud says the need to be an artist comes from early childhood and a sense of loss that enables the artist to see things differently. This vision rules his life.

i got into art when in my mid twenties
was alienated from the mba program i'd got myself into
alienated from america
post vietnam
post rejection of the military
post family rejections all around

i don't know about the early childhood biz
the emdr therapy i've done wants to reflect back into early childhood

wonder and bewilderment
started into art mid twenties

we pass thru these trials
where is the last refuge?
it for me is a combo of inside and outside
safe place inside
outside others who will help

Post by **izeveryboyin** » July 31st, 2007, 10:51 am

Hest, I am hoping that you... well all of you really, are right about this. As much as I would like to believe in myself, lack of moving forward, lack of sleep, lack of stability has caused me to falter. I am trying to be better, but I know that I am far from being the best me that I can be. I am trying to tell myself that I am not alone, but it's so much harder to believe there's someone else up shit creek with you when you're too blinded by shit to see anything else. Am I making any sense right now, b/c I'm not sure. Anyway thanx for the cyberhug. Needed it and then some. It's a good thing I can't drink or smoke right now b/c I'd be an alcoholic lung cancer patient. To say I would've over-indulged isn't quite strong enough. But I guess that's something right? The fact that I've had the strength to keep away from such vices for the sake of my baby in spite of extreme advesity?Shit, I hope so. Jimbo, I adore your responses. They are so full of poetry, and positivity. They make me believe in lights at the end of the tunnel. Keep 'em coming.

--k

Post by **jimboloco** » July 31st, 2007, 2:59 pm

wow this is getting exciting
to be present around the birth of a daughter
in community no less!

i gotta say i dig texas trucker's sillylolaquies
awash in spirituall psycholigick reflectionz
i appreciate the references
don't pick up no inferences
just poetick introspectlation, man,
i dig

shit i forgot what i was gonna say

oh yeah,

It's a good thing I can't drink or smoke right now b/c I'd be an alcoholic lung cancer patient.

and also a reference to ST'z stuff, i mean, man, i aksed my zen therapist about freud and early childhood and he said that freud got his inspiration about childhood from Romantic_poetry, well waddya know about that?

man today i am sinning
ya know, after those days in the jewel mine, well, shit, i been straight since july 13th, chrizt, yesturdday, i smoked grass, drank 1/2 of an old abby porter, had the gassy shits all night, chrizt,
i still got the other half corked in the fridge, think i yam gonna save it for a medicinal,

now i got the blues
paying my dues next day
on the wagon again
no booze no pot today

don't let it bring you down

whole thang has been a prayer for the babe and you
i just did a respite from the good stuff for two weeks
mercy
you are respecting the child by staying straighht
my goodness th original madonna
eve herself incarnate

Post by **jimboloco** » August 22nd, 2007, 3:46 pm

How's mom and baby?

It's time for a little prayer here.

I just pray for the ability to inject a positive note
into this mother-baby jazz syncopation poetiss bliss

You can do it,
you are strong, bright, gifted.
You can.

Remember the old homeless vet you befriended at the Chicago public library?
That kind of street compassion is the spark of a strong spirit.
Amen.

Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

Freak of Nature

stuff

Re: stuff

Who is online