What Are Your Failures?
- Lightning Rod
- Posts: 5211
- Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
- Location: between my ears
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What Are Your Failures?
In my school career I failed two courses. One was junior honors English. I failed that course because I had a personality problem with the teacher. Plus, I was a willful young poet and you couldn't tell me anything. The other failure was in 9th grade typing class.
I'm not a willful young poet anymore, but I'm a better typist.
I failed 9th grade typing class because I hated it. Those were ancient times before the electric and electronic keyboard. We learned on these clunky old Remington typewriters that didn't have the letters on the keys. They were all blank. This was to make sure that you learned how to type without looking. I think they called it 'touch typing.'
At home I had an antiquated Smith-Corona which was made of cast iron and took muscular hands to use. It was physical work to type in those days before carpal tunnel syndrome was in fashion.
So, I hated to type. It was too much work. Corrections were a pain in the ass. There was no 'delete' key on those old acoustic typewriters. It's much easier now. I can fake 50wpm.
But it's just as well. My mind won't work any faster than 50wpm either.
I'm not a willful young poet anymore, but I'm a better typist.
I failed 9th grade typing class because I hated it. Those were ancient times before the electric and electronic keyboard. We learned on these clunky old Remington typewriters that didn't have the letters on the keys. They were all blank. This was to make sure that you learned how to type without looking. I think they called it 'touch typing.'
At home I had an antiquated Smith-Corona which was made of cast iron and took muscular hands to use. It was physical work to type in those days before carpal tunnel syndrome was in fashion.
So, I hated to type. It was too much work. Corrections were a pain in the ass. There was no 'delete' key on those old acoustic typewriters. It's much easier now. I can fake 50wpm.
But it's just as well. My mind won't work any faster than 50wpm either.
FAILURES???????...I'd say the biggest place I've failed in this existence is being that guy known as "Husband"(3 times)....maybe i tried to hard in the role, i dunno anymore.....I do know that i'm much better in the role of wired boyfriend.......
me I feel like I'm becoming some kinda Kung fu t.v. Priest.....
- Doreen Peri
- Site Admin
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Relationships. (the serious love kind) I'm terrible at them. I don't know why.
Oh and I got a D in chemistry once in High School (because I hated it and couldn't understand the math) and an F in an introductory journalism course in college because I stopped going to it 'cause I hated it 'cause it was at the ungodly hour of 8 AM in this huge lecture hall and the professor was boring as hell.... but I forgot to drop it before the drop date so I got an F 'cause I didn't show up that whole first semester.
Oh and I got a D in chemistry once in High School (because I hated it and couldn't understand the math) and an F in an introductory journalism course in college because I stopped going to it 'cause I hated it 'cause it was at the ungodly hour of 8 AM in this huge lecture hall and the professor was boring as hell.... but I forgot to drop it before the drop date so I got an F 'cause I didn't show up that whole first semester.
- Anonymous-one
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- Location: Montreal , Quebec
- hester_prynne
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I'm a sexual failure!
I've never been able to get into weird wild animal and anal sex. Mainstream sex.
Fact is, I hate it. I've always hated it, the pressure of it especially.
Oh I tried it way back, but the anguish and self loathing I felt after was unbearable, not to mention the retching cringe memories I still have around a few of my literal half dressed escapes. I feel like i've let men down. Failed them as a woman.
For a long time now, i've just kept a wide berth from it altogether.
I do console myself though, with fantasies of what it might have been like with Rev. Dimmesdale........
Sigh.
H

I've never been able to get into weird wild animal and anal sex. Mainstream sex.
Fact is, I hate it. I've always hated it, the pressure of it especially.
Oh I tried it way back, but the anguish and self loathing I felt after was unbearable, not to mention the retching cringe memories I still have around a few of my literal half dressed escapes. I feel like i've let men down. Failed them as a woman.
For a long time now, i've just kept a wide berth from it altogether.
I do console myself though, with fantasies of what it might have been like with Rev. Dimmesdale........
Sigh.
H

"I am a victim of society, and, an entertainer"........DW
- HelloKitty
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- Joined: July 3rd, 2007, 9:46 pm
- Location: eugene by way of astoria, or
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most of my apparent failures are also school-related...i've failed the same math class twice. from the same teacher. his name is shlomo and i hate him and he hates me. at least we're on the same page about that? although i think i win, so eat it shlomo.
i've failed at managing money. ask around. it's true. it's a skill i never learned, never had any good examples, still don't really. but i'm really serious about trying to fix it and make up for my mistakes. i mean, i keep hearing "it's only money" but it's not. it's the principle. i get my feelings all confused, i get distracted, i grew up with nothing so having extra money is just a crazy concept to me. it's difficult. but i'm really trying.
i guess i've failed at being "responsible" as a whole, so far. duty and emotion just clash in my head. i do what i feel is right for me at any given time, rather than what i "should" (or what someone else thinks i should, wherein i believe lies the problem).
and up until little over a month ago i could have said that i'm a failure at good healthy relationships with men. boys on the other hand...
i won't go there. this one, so far so good, knock on wood.
one thing i've never failed at: optimism. no matter how badly i screw anything up, i know everything is going to be all right. i mean, when something upsets me or worries me i can get stuck in that upset or worry, but i try really hard to not worry about how things are going or how they could go, and i try to focus on things turning out well. ok that's not accurate. it doesn't even occur to me that things are really bad, i don't even think about anything, i just inherently know that everything is going to be fine. maybe that's a failure too, my not being able to confront the possibility of failure.
i've failed at managing money. ask around. it's true. it's a skill i never learned, never had any good examples, still don't really. but i'm really serious about trying to fix it and make up for my mistakes. i mean, i keep hearing "it's only money" but it's not. it's the principle. i get my feelings all confused, i get distracted, i grew up with nothing so having extra money is just a crazy concept to me. it's difficult. but i'm really trying.
i guess i've failed at being "responsible" as a whole, so far. duty and emotion just clash in my head. i do what i feel is right for me at any given time, rather than what i "should" (or what someone else thinks i should, wherein i believe lies the problem).
and up until little over a month ago i could have said that i'm a failure at good healthy relationships with men. boys on the other hand...

one thing i've never failed at: optimism. no matter how badly i screw anything up, i know everything is going to be all right. i mean, when something upsets me or worries me i can get stuck in that upset or worry, but i try really hard to not worry about how things are going or how they could go, and i try to focus on things turning out well. ok that's not accurate. it doesn't even occur to me that things are really bad, i don't even think about anything, i just inherently know that everything is going to be fine. maybe that's a failure too, my not being able to confront the possibility of failure.
these shoes pinch my feet, but I love them.
I can do a big list, but it wouldn´t be true because the fact is I never tried more or less seriously that things:
. finish my grade carrear
. have kids
. drive a car
. go to gym for more than one month
. do pancakes
.etc
Sometimes I feel I fail in:
. scaping from routine (I would have lot of more free time if I stop doing that!)
. trying people around me -including myself- be happy and confortable without being idiot (I know, I know... that´s omnipotent trash!)
. finish my grade carrear
. have kids
. drive a car
. go to gym for more than one month
. do pancakes
.etc
Sometimes I feel I fail in:
. scaping from routine (I would have lot of more free time if I stop doing that!)
. trying people around me -including myself- be happy and confortable without being idiot (I know, I know... that´s omnipotent trash!)
- Lightning Rod
- Posts: 5211
- Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
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- Doreen Peri
- Site Admin
- Posts: 14598
- Joined: July 10th, 2004, 3:30 pm
- Location: Virginia
- Contact:
- Lightning Rod
- Posts: 5211
- Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
- Location: between my ears
- Contact:
- Doreen Peri
- Site Admin
- Posts: 14598
- Joined: July 10th, 2004, 3:30 pm
- Location: Virginia
- Contact:
thanks, cecil!!!... I really don´t know... do yo want the story? well, some friends gave me the thing to do them as a birthday-you-are-in-a-new-house-present some years ago. I like canelones a lot with pancakes masa and I´m usually very critic about how some bought-canelonis are filled. So I think, well maybe it´s time to try to do the canelonis myself. I tried twice but I spent a loong time doing the pancakes. They tasted ok, but they finally had weird forms difficult to fill in and some of them ended little burnt. Then I discover that in the supermarket and some bakeries near here sells pancakes that are ok!. So now I´m only focused in the relleno. But your lessons are welcome, of course!!.
- stilltrucking
- Posts: 20646
- Joined: October 24th, 2004, 12:29 pm
- Location: Oz or somepLace like Kansas
I deleted a 15,000 word ramble on my failures here
Going to try and be more succinct
Money
the love of which is
almost as bad as the hate of it
still a kid giving it all away
><<><>>>>,
oh yeah one more thing
German I
failed it three times
doing pretty good the first time until the instructor she told me I spoke German with a yiddish accent. I just stopped coming to class got an F. And tried two more times before I gave up. You think I am crazy now, you should of seen me then.
College Park Maryland Circa 1959
Pity I was so thin skinned
so many bad translations of Freud.

Going to try and be more succinct
Money
the love of which is
almost as bad as the hate of it
still a kid giving it all away
><<><>>>>,
oh yeah one more thing
German I
failed it three times
doing pretty good the first time until the instructor she told me I spoke German with a yiddish accent. I just stopped coming to class got an F. And tried two more times before I gave up. You think I am crazy now, you should of seen me then.
College Park Maryland Circa 1959
Pity I was so thin skinned
so many bad translations of Freud.
- stilltrucking
- Posts: 20646
- Joined: October 24th, 2004, 12:29 pm
- Location: Oz or somepLace like Kansas
I just noticed your reply
I suppose I am a failure at main stream sex too.
You know I never had a script in my head
And she was a silent lover
not a back seat driver
But she loved the movies
So we saw The Trip together and did it
But After we saw the "butter scene" in Last Tango In Paris
She said I did not like that
And I asked her why she did not say something and I would not have
And she said "It was what was happening." Spiderwoman liked to watch.
I remember watching her face in the mirror watching my face.
We never went their again.
for some reason I reminded of a song called Sexy Jesus.
and something somebody posted on litkicks about it.
But I forgot what.
I suppose I am a failure at main stream sex too.
You know I never had a script in my head
And she was a silent lover
not a back seat driver
But she loved the movies
So we saw The Trip together and did it
But After we saw the "butter scene" in Last Tango In Paris
She said I did not like that
And I asked her why she did not say something and I would not have
And she said "It was what was happening." Spiderwoman liked to watch.
I remember watching her face in the mirror watching my face.
We never went their again.
for some reason I reminded of a song called Sexy Jesus.
and something somebody posted on litkicks about it.
But I forgot what.
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