Silencing

[eyelidlessness]

theres nmo such thing as "the" anthropological (or archaelogical) definition of civilization. these concepts are always contested. ideological assumptions are imbedded in attemts at fixity, as dogma.

Wat is Dogma? The Dog Mother of Civilization.

What is civilization? A set of more or less complicated tools, based in repression, used for further repression and production, designed for the impossible task of containing nature and shaping an abode for the creative and murderous animal -- humanity.

Okay. Enjoy post-modernism. I'm going to kick it over here where things actually have tangible meanings.

* * *

you made a remark about getting under my skin
You think you know me
You insult me
What is your point?

When have I ever insulted you? I made a comment about getting under your skin when I noticed you taking our conversation, weeks later, all over the rest of the forums here. You're still bitter, obviously, otherwise you wouldn't still be harping on it. I'm not trying to get under your skin, and I certainly didn't insult you. I'm sorry that you can't engage in discussion with me without feeling personal affront, but that's your prerogative.

I got two brothers in their seventies, neither one is a zombie
One races motorcycles on the senior circuit
the other is a cowboy.

As I mentioned in the soldier thread... exceptions prove the rule. I have elderly people in my family who are really pretty well off. But they're certainly in the minority for their age. And they know it.

You told me a while back how well you get along with the old folks
You are an ageist I see that now.
It is ok
Geezers used to scare me too when I was your age.

What the fuck are you talking about? I'm not an ageist. I don't want people to have a biological tendency to be unable to enjoy life in a healthy way past a certain age, but it's true. I don't hate elderly people. I just know that most of them don't really survive much past 70 without quite a lot of assistance from pharmaceuticals that ravage their bodies and minds, and quite in spite of biological conditions what would otherwise lead to death or extreme illness.

the difference between us is you have never been old
but I have been young
check back with me in forty years

can you get to that?
condensenion is in the eye of the beholder I suppose.

But it is condescending. What I say doesn't count, or is heavily distorted through a lens of... well, to use your term, ageism. Guess what. Yeah, I'm 24 years old, and haven't experienced much compared to some folks that are older than me, and quite a lot of them probably could impart valuable wisdom to me. That doesn't mean I should lie and say that it's natural to live past one's 70s when you and I both know that would be a lie.

It's a feat accomplished by heavy use of pharmaceutical poisons.

[stilltrucking]

There is a language older by far and deeper than words. It is the language of bodies, of body on body, wind on snow, rain on trees, wave on stone. It is the language of dream, gesture, symbol, memory. We have forgotten this language. We do not even remember that it exists.

Lets back up and move on I would like to restart this conversation from there.
. I am still trying to find the words to express what I hear in that silence. Be back when I find them
Maybe this does not relate. But it has been on my mind lately. I will try to tell you why later.




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The World Without Us

[stilltrucking]

I am going to take a hiatus from studio eight for a while.
I will get back to you on this one
I never thought it was possible for me to run out of words
but I have
I can't express what I am trying to say here

time for me to shut up

I will be back

[stilltrucking]

Can you hear the silence or are your ears still ringing from the sound of the grenade going off?


"the worm at the core of human awareness is death"

My own introduction to this silencing--and this is similarly true for a great percentage of children as well within many families--came at the hands...

My father also introduced me to the silence. And I have become grateful in my old age.

As is true for most children, when I was young I heard the world speak. Stars sang. Stones had preferences. Trees had bad days. Toads held lively discussions, crowed over a good day’s catch. Like static on a radio, schooling and other forms of socialization began to interfere with my perception of the animate world, and for a number of years I almost believed that only humans spoke. The gap between what I experienced and what I almost believed confused me deeply. It wasn’t until later that I began to understand the personal, political, social, ecological, and economic implications of living in a silenced world.

I say old age but in fact I am getting younger every day. I think that is what happens to men like me who have never had children. We retreat into our childhood. I am all to aware of the forlorn rags of old age in this objective fact world of time. But in subjective time I am getting younger.


I have pretty much given up on ever understanding Husserl. I just have bits and pieces that I think I got. For thirty years I have been trying to work my way through his lecture from the year 1905, The Phenomenology of Internal Time Consciousness. Pretty much it comes down to "we must become as little children again" to see the world. Or to paraphrase William James we must unsettle our accounts with reality.




just bits and pieces so far
more to follow.

if I don't keep posting to this
just assume I am dead.
or I have finally stroked out and I am back to shitting in my diapers and drooling a lot.

I can hardly wait.

[stilltrucking]

can you remember when you time travelled?
I search my three pound universe for memory of H Hablis
and a lost innocence before Broca started telling me lies.

>paste here< searching for a passage from Husserl on time and childhood.


That grenade, I fear now but which was a friendly shadow before it was a word called death.

I remember how hushed the conversation of the adults in my family would become when the subject of someone having a stroke came up.

Little pitcher's had big ears
I could hear the fear, such a mysterious organ our brains.
I am trying not to panic
but I will keep chipping away at this writer's block.

meanwhile just bits and pieces.

[stilltrucking]

still re reading TPoI-TC
up to page fifty again
getting a sinking feeling

as I find enough silence in the day to read a few pages
nice work if I can get it

yeah I got a sinking feeling for a couple of reasons. One that I might be re reading the wrong Husserl book.
and the other on a word I had underlined 25 years ago when I first read the book.

Hyletic

And I remember thinking I don't mind the German, and oh what an enemy we have in Greek and Latin, but got damn old man now you going to start making up words?

to be cont...

[stilltrucking]

I am sure now it was another book with the passage I was looking
that books Husserl Ideas
http://ontology.buffalo.edu/smith/artic ... nstid.html

not sure why it even matters

Ask me again what I have been smoking.

I had not smoke in a month or so when you asked me that.

somehow to hear the silence I have to hear the world two million years ago.


so many scientific pillars of truth I have been taught to believe in have been pissed on. For years Husserl seemed like an escape from Freudian visions of monsters from the id. I would only say that he saw a grenade, I saw death. I am not so good with metophors.

I just don't know anymore what I was trying to say here.



Is that what feeling post modern means?