The good news is, that I've been working some hours for organic food at a local farmstand....one of those lucky "in the right place at the right time" sort of flukes that I got this opportunity. I have to say, I love it. To be outdoors, hocking veggies to passersby, at a little stand on a beautiful farm is incredible. If something runs out, I go and pick it to restock. If only it paid enough to live on, I'd do it forever. I could watch the cottonwoods glisten in the sun forever and be fullfilled. But farm folks here also are poor and they can only pay in food. The folks that run this farm, are my kind of people, they work hard and appreciate the little that they have. I really like this kind of people. I can relate to them. They make me want to sing again......
I'm also feeling really physically healthy too, eating all this food I've never heard of before that I love, like lemon cukes, and green gage plums, and transparent apples, kohlrabi, picklers....etc etc. I realize how bought out I am by the commercial food crooks. There is so much more out there to eat, that has been grown organically, tastes good, and is good for you. I mean, you can eat it right out of the ground! And I do! My fingernails are filthy, uncleanable, and my pecks and abs are tightening up due to all the heavy lifting of veggie and fruit filled boxes. It's all so good. But in the meantime i'm getting poorer and poorer. I applied for a job at the local food co-op as a cashier today and they called to offer me part-time work just this evening. They pay under nine dollars an hour. I want so much to do it, but how can I live on that? DAmn.
I hate and love my life. I hate that I have to pay so much for my daughter and I to live in a squalid little two bedroom apt. I love that I do not own a house, or even much stuff to put into one. I love that when there is love furnishing your life, you can get by on very little else....
I've applied for two more jobs today, and will probably apply for two or three more tommorrow, because I have to survive somehow. But I am also somewhat amazed at how unfazed at this point that I am about my situation. I just know that somehow it will all work out, that we'll make it, even if we have to live in the car.
Anyway, that's an update on me. I feel like i've been out of the loop a bit here, I did not initially take the loss of my job very well. Now, I want to get back in here, get back to writing, while I can still afford this internet connection. I think that life for many is changing, that many people are in my sort of situation right now. For some reason that helps me to stay away from those nagging thoughts that something is wrong with me and that I am just destined to be a failure. I hate that thinking. That stinking thinking.....I know that I am NOT a failure.
What are you up to? How are you surviving? If you are poor and struggling and have any good tips you could share with me about surviving please do.
Peace, love and understanding.
H
