Maybe I'm crazy....

[hester_prynne]

But I dumped the Ward Clerk gig and went for more co-op hours.
I had to face the fact that I'm not really career girl sadie anymore, man I just do not want a job that hacks that much out of you for so little in return. I mean I just refuse to believe that you have to give it all up to thrive one dimensionally? I feel pretty relieved which I read as a good sign.

Microscopic truth is, I'm bidin my time, lookin for a way to move a little souther, closer to Stella. I can't really get into anything being this far away from her. Place called Olympia seems just about like the perfect locale for that....
I want to see her more, see her growing.....really bad!!!
Why am I telling you this?

H

[judih]

cause you know we care
and are with you
there's this wonderful moment where all those fame, fame, fame dreams of when i grow up, are replaced with sitting on a rock in the middle of our life and breathing with the clouds.

Cloud breathing thrives on love and being with those we love.
may Olympia occur!

[mnaz]

Hey Hes... I wanted to come see your new gig this summer... it's only about seventy miles or so, and considering the great lengths to which I've gone, that's nothing! I do regret not making it there (so far).

Ultimately it all might be simultaneous blessing and curse, but follow your heart; ultimately the one unavoidable microscopic truth..

[mousey1]

it seems to me my head is aswirl in the toilet of my not quite regrets
so when I see a decision made taking into account the essence of time and dimensionalness
I applaud those remakes
you are one
oystering your way to the perfect shell
and pearldom
I wish you well
"I wish you may
I wish you might
have the wish
you wish tonight" and every night

Fret not, does it not always, eventually, fall into place eventually eventually eventually...eventually.



kudos, happiness has many faces and sometimes they are poor but wiser.

[Arcadia]

you´re not crazy, hester!! you´re open !!
best wishes whatever you do!!!
besos,

[joel]

Olympia for Stella...
climb your mountain and kiss its star-blessed summit
and if that proves a relief
sit and enjoy it
lungs in locomotion with the clouds
in cooperation with serenity
pursued, not serendipity.

H, thanks for sharing and for letting us root you on--at least for me, still wandering my exodus homelessness' journey, I keep you in my thoughts and prayers--and I draw unspeakable inspiration.

[izeveryboyin]

You are a beautiful and brave soul, Hest and you did what any beautiful brave soul in your position would do. One can expect no less. I am constantly seeing you as a great example of how to really be alive. I admire you for that and hope you keep sharing your thoughts with us. No matter how exceptional, no matter how mundane. They mean a lot.

--k

[hester_prynne]

Thank youse for your responses very much.
They mean alot to these eyeballs of mine.

Strange times of unknowing.
Worrying that the unknowing is somehow something bad, like I'm shutting down or something.
I'm not shutting down. This is for sure.
I just don't know what to do.

It's kinda cool to not know what to do, if I could let go of that nagging nag that lives within me and just explore.
(Who is she anyway? Naggy nag. Always whispering in my ears, stuff that withers me.)

I just don't know what to do.
Or what I've done.
Or what I look like.

I heard someone say tonight on tv that if there's one thing he's learned it's to definitely aim higher than you ever dreamed you ever could cause even if you do fail, doors open.........
I think i'll just start shootin really high, see whut happens.
I already just applied for a gig that starts at 70,000 grand, in Olympia.
They'll think i'm crazy.....heh.
H

[judih]

they'll think you're crazy.
bad publicity is better than no publicity, right?
crazy, crazy they'll think
and they'll think and they might actually smile and say:
Finally! Someone crazy enough to get this job done!

why not?

[joel]

It's kinda cool to not know what to do, if I could let go of that nagging nag that lives within me and just explore.

when i read this, i got the image of you in a padlock with a free-spirited old (meaning wizened) horse who has consistently refused to be tamed. i started seeing you talking to the horse, whispering and cooing out of a place of "wtf else am i gonna do here?" and even though the hourse refused the bridle and the reins and sadle, it let you climb on bareback and carried you off to go exploring.

i'm glad you're not shutting down and i'm excited for whatever doors start flinging open....

[stilltrucking]

Is it crazy to believe in the power of Tibetan prayer wheels?
In the power of writing?

My best wishes Hester
Have you ever thought of clicking your heels together three times and...
Olympia sounds wonderful
Just keep leaning that way
and maybe the opportunity will appear

ON an unrelated personal note

I know I am crazy hester
One of the fortunate few to be certified my my local draft board in 1963.
Just because I could not fall asleep without imagning a shot gun held under my chin with my finger on the trigger

So don't mind me.