Dirty Limerick jam

[e_dog]

A Secretary named Ms. Albright
'Tis said the job was done alright,
Excepting Rwanda
But we never was fonda
Those without oil or might.


Condi is fond of that wanker
in the White House who'd spank 'er
if it caught his mood.
True, she's fill'd with crude
but only from being an oil tanker.

[e_dog]

Yep, Condi's in bed with Shell
or was it Chevron, whatthehell?
Exxon or Conoco?
We must be loco
t' let her transport us to hell.



Strong candidates are named Mitt
'F you ain't hip to this war you better get down wit it.
He has real, greasy hair
Although he don't care
Any stink and you know he's the Shit.

[jimboloco]

the deep freeze queen was as cold as a brass bra in nebraska
in the winter time when she'd loll and baska
when others would be shivering
her heart would be quivering
but the guys she would tell to get back-a
(sigh)

[jimboloco]

now al quaida is on the rise in pakistan
and the fearmongers say that they are our man
as our world goes awry
and our warplanes go fly
the people are the ones with a plan

we take our oil companies out of arabia
and let them nationalise their xenophobia
then they will be like us
we dont like anyone else
and the conservative christians and the iranians can celebrate their homophobia

[e_dog]

Some say we're too hard on Condi
Some say. too nice.
Compared to Hill' the blondie,
I hold with those who reckon: Condi.
But if they had to do it twice
The polls could be e'en harder on Rice
And would suffice.

[e_dog]

There was a girl from Watts
with two chins and only two thoughts.
One for the money
and two for her honey.
Let's ends this pome cleanly without plots.


The coins have been empti'd from yer purse.
And no, I didn't rehearse.
What our inspiration?
It's ver'table masturbation.
And no, we don't reimburse.


Rhyming, I send out these words
whether gems, flowers, or turds.
You might say, Oh please!
Like honey for the beas
at least they're not for the birds.

[e_dog]

Nancy said Say No To Drugs.
George W musta been wear'n earplugs.
He did coke and hard liquor
in a chair made of wicker
Now he hangs with killers and thugs.

[mnaz]

The wide, wide world of idolatry,
has a lot to do with shouted ideology.
If you show them the door,
they'll just come back for more,
all the while with no apology.

[e_dog]

A New Years resolution?
To stop global air pollution?
Or just give up porn
the computer's well worn.
Its a time honored institution.

[e_dog]

God's first coming pro'ced Jesus
His task to save not to please us.
God is quite fertile
Like a weekend in Myrtle
The second coming will leave us ...?

[e_dog]

She ne'er responded t' catcalls.
As she wandered up n down these halls.
Wear'n' nuthin' but slippas
With cute pointy nippas
Giv'n' all the young men blue balls.

In the hospital they called her Suzy
she was a tease but not a flousey.
She was quite mad
but aren't you glad
she was picky but never too choosy.

[e_dog]

Lynn Cheney likes Dick
Whether he's healthy or sick.
He may be a criminal
The message's subliminal
She unlike the people got her pick.

The president's wife likes Bush
For reading she'll give a lil' push.
When her husband attacks
'Stans or Iraqs
She quietly sits on her tush.

Billiam Clinton don't like Rod'
In fact, he thinks her quite odd.
Hill talks too much
And don't suck enough.
Bill's chicks are chic and mod.

Mike's wife like to Huckabee
Ahelluva lotta pluck has she.
He used to be fatter
When she fried his batter
Save he the nation, you'll fuckin'see.

[jimboloco]

there is a limerick writer named e-dawg
who ran his flagstick up in the fog
to the barricaides! he yelled
don't tread on me on high he held
as americka's nail biters he flogged

duh?

[jimboloco]

there is a desert rat named mnazzz
he wanders about in a mirazzzeee
he seeks truth and justice
gets sand in his moustache
with visions of razzmatazz

[mnaz]

It was just another dirty limerick,
or just another wood-grained trick,
and the rich powers that be,
in their deep oak panels times three,
could never quite figure out their shtick.