Tearing the Twat (continuation of a theme)

Post your poetry, any style.
User avatar
Lightning Rod
Posts: 5211
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
Location: between my ears
Contact:

Tearing the Twat (continuation of a theme)

Post by Lightning Rod » March 1st, 2008, 8:10 pm

Tearing the Twat

Let me cry in your vagina.
some say spit is the best sexual lubricant
but I tell you that tears are even better

tears of joy work
but tears of grief and despair are best
tears of loneliness and self-pity
can I sob in your pussy?

nothing disinfects like the salt of tears
no K-Y synthetic or vaseline
Tears are the best personal hygiene product
Can I weep with your labia?
"These words don't make me a poet, these Eyes make me a poet."

The Poet's Eye

User avatar
mnaz
Posts: 7841
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 10:02 pm
Location: north of south

Re: Tearing the Twat (continuation of a theme)

Post by mnaz » March 1st, 2008, 10:25 pm

Lightning Rod wrote: nothing disinfects like the salt of tears
no K-Y synthetic or vaseline
Tears are the best personal hygiene product
Or so I imagined.

User avatar
Arcadia
Posts: 7964
Joined: August 22nd, 2004, 6:20 pm
Location: Rosario

Post by Arcadia » March 2nd, 2008, 8:49 am

a tissue paper? :wink:

yeah..., tears sometimes are the best stream!

User avatar
Lightning Rod
Posts: 5211
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
Location: between my ears
Contact:

Post by Lightning Rod » March 2nd, 2008, 12:00 pm

Arcadia wrote:a tissue paper? :wink:
Thanks Arcadia. It's been a long time since a lady offered me her handkerchief.
"These words don't make me a poet, these Eyes make me a poet."

The Poet's Eye

User avatar
Doreen Peri
Site Admin
Posts: 14598
Joined: July 10th, 2004, 3:30 pm
Location: Virginia
Contact:

Post by Doreen Peri » March 2nd, 2008, 1:53 pm

The thing is, the words "twat" and "pussy" are not especially poetic words. I mean, if you want to write a poem about crying, that's a good theme because we all cry, we all are sad sometimes, we all weep when we're distraught and it is the universality of tears which makes a theme about the human condition work.

And though you didn't ask for a critique, I am giving you one anyway.

You are a fine poet and so I don't understand why you would resort to using images which would make the reader not want to take you seriously.

Though humorous poetry has a place in my world (for instance, I am a big fan of ogden nash, as you know), this piece [sic] isn't funny and I think you missed your opportunity to make it funny.

What it is is ... just sort of a lowering of your talents.... a demeaning sort of thing.

.....

Forgive me. Who am I to critique you? I am no longer a writer.

.....

I am in need of a poetic episiotomy.

I keep myself in stitches.

I'm all teared up.

:P

User avatar
mnaz
Posts: 7841
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 10:02 pm
Location: north of south

Post by mnaz » March 2nd, 2008, 5:07 pm

gotta agree. "twat" no es poetica... but then, an antipoetic jarring/sparring setup works as a hook, sometimes...

But then, what do I know about poetry? I just kind of blurt prosetry at times....

Totenkopf

Post by Totenkopf » March 2nd, 2008, 6:23 pm

The thing is, the words "twat" and "pussy" are not especially poetic words.
You got that right, Miss DP. One hates to mention the V-word (ie. vulgarity), but like uh, headin' that direction. 8)

User avatar
Lightning Rod
Posts: 5211
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
Location: between my ears
Contact:

Post by Lightning Rod » March 3rd, 2008, 1:28 am

anybody who objects to the use of the word 'pussy' or any other word in a poem is, well...a pussy.

words themselves aren't poetic
it's how they are put together that makes poetry

All this time and at all times wait the words of true poems,
The words of true poems do not merely please,
The true poets are not followers of beauty but the august masters of beauty;
The greatness of sons is the exuding of the greatness of mothers
and fathers,
The words of true poems are the tuft and final applause of science.

Divine instinct, breadth of vision, the law of reason, health,
rudeness of body, withdrawnness,
Gayety, sun-tan, air-sweetness, such are some of the words of poems.

---Whitman, Song of the Answerer
doreen, count yourself lucky
at least I didn't say 'cry in your cunt'
I know you hate that very descriptive and specific word

tote--
vulgarity is in the eye of the vulgar
"These words don't make me a poet, these Eyes make me a poet."

The Poet's Eye

User avatar
mnaz
Posts: 7841
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 10:02 pm
Location: north of south

Post by mnaz » March 3rd, 2008, 2:02 am

I am a pussy.

Ask anyone.
Last edited by mnaz on March 3rd, 2008, 2:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Lightning Rod
Posts: 5211
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
Location: between my ears
Contact:

Post by Lightning Rod » March 3rd, 2008, 2:15 am

perhaps it was the use of 'twat'
(which I've always thought was a very charming word)

I don't think it was a gratuitous use of that word in the title
it's an alliterative pun
(tearing--rhymes with ear or with air)

and how dare you call it 'cheap'
it cost me plenty :lol:
"These words don't make me a poet, these Eyes make me a poet."

The Poet's Eye

User avatar
Doreen Peri
Site Admin
Posts: 14598
Joined: July 10th, 2004, 3:30 pm
Location: Virginia
Contact:

Post by Doreen Peri » March 3rd, 2008, 2:26 am

Lightning Rod wrote:
All this time and at all times wait the words of true poems,
The words of true poems do not merely please,
The true poets are not followers of beauty but the august masters of beauty;
-Whitman, Song of the Answerer
doreen, count yourself lucky
at least I didn't say 'cry in your cunt'
I know you hate that very descriptive and specific word
Whitman was right. Neither of the words "twat" or "pussy" are words that suggest anything beautiful. Nor are the words pleasing. They are condescending ugly words for a part of a woman's anatomy. Nothing beautiful there. Not poetic at all. (Not that all poetry must represent something beautiful but still, I'm sure you see my point. The words are being used for the sole purpose of attracting attention. Gratuitous as was also suggested. Yes. Not to create anything that represents true grieving which is what the crying implies.)

And why should I count myself lucky that you didn't use the word "cunt"? This has absolutely nothing to do with me.

User avatar
Lightning Rod
Posts: 5211
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
Location: between my ears
Contact:

Post by Lightning Rod » March 3rd, 2008, 2:42 am

I must differ with you, doreen (what's new?)

I think that those are beautiful words referring to a beautiful and poetic part of the female anatomy.
Vagina... say what you will, it's a lovely word and a lovlier place.
--bennie
and don't get panaroid, I never suggested that 'cunt' had anything to do with you, I just said that you hated the word.
"These words don't make me a poet, these Eyes make me a poet."

The Poet's Eye

User avatar
Doreen Peri
Site Admin
Posts: 14598
Joined: July 10th, 2004, 3:30 pm
Location: Virginia
Contact:

Post by Doreen Peri » March 3rd, 2008, 8:18 am

and don't get panaroid, I never suggested that 'cunt' had anything to do with you, I just said that you hated the word.
No you said something different.

What you said was, "count yourself lucky" when speaking to me.

Why should I count myself lucky?

Whatever word choices you make are up to you.

It has nothing to do with me.

User avatar
stilltrucking
Posts: 20646
Joined: October 24th, 2004, 12:29 pm
Location: Oz or somepLace like Kansas

Post by stilltrucking » March 3rd, 2008, 10:34 am

Nothing to do with all this
I was just thinking about how we all entered this world,
except for a few people like Julius Caeser.

"'inter urinas et faeces nascimur "

User avatar
mnaz
Posts: 7841
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 10:02 pm
Location: north of south

Post by mnaz » March 3rd, 2008, 1:11 pm

At the risk of continuing to spend too much time here (still need that vacation...), this is an interesting philosophical sort of question. Does skillful, artistic arrangement of words-- any words-- in and of itself make writing "poetic"? Or are certain words so fundamentally "apoetical" that their inclusion negates poetic quality no matter how they might possibly be arranged? Then again, what are "apoetical" words? I suppose we could never all agree on that in the first place... Hmm...

Post Reply

Return to “Poetry”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests