Where Do The Indians Go?

[Lightning Rod]

When the plains Indians were old or sick or just ready to die, they would wander off into the wilderness. No muss, no fuss, no burden on the tribe. They would just be gone one day.

It would be hard to do this in today's world. You could wander a hundred miles and not get out of the suburbs. They would pick you up in some strip-mall and put you in an assisted living facility or hook you up to machines in a hospital for as long as your insurance held out.

When I was in my twenties I had a strange experience. I was taking my girlfriend home at about 1:00 in the morning. She lived on a suburban street. My mind was on kissing her goodnight, when I saw an old woman standing in the middle of the street. She appeared to be disoriented. I went to her and asked if I could help her. She looked at me with the ten-thousand mile stare. I think it was the first time I had ever seen it. But I have seen it several times since. It's the look that we get when life holds no hope. It's the look of doom and resignation. It's the look we get when we know that death is near.

I sent my girlfriend to call 911 and I walked with the old woman as she shuffled. I nudged her out of the street onto the sidewalk. We walked for a few blocks. She told me that she had quit drinking. I have done this several times, but she was referring to water and not alcohol. She reminded me that when you quit drinking, the end was near. She wanted to wander off into the wilderness. She wanted to die. But there was no wilderness. Only more suburbs and then the emergency vehicles and her family came, taking her into custody. Where do the Indians go?

What is wrong with someone saying, "I am ready to die."?

When a soldier puts on the uniform and takes up arms, he is saying, "I am ready to die." We praise him for that. We give him medals.

But when a person who is in pain or faces a dismal wasting death of some sort says, "I am ready to die," we deny them that fundamental choice and call them cowards or suicides damned to hell.

The Poet's Eye is looking for the Indians. Where do the Indians go?

[stilltrucking]

Here is an Indian for you clay


Deming New Mexico
just casual talking
he looked like a local
eary morning hours
the truck stop cafe
a social club
for all the ranchers and farmers and cops
starting their day around 4 AM

I can't remember how the subject came up. But he said, "If I commit suicide I plan on getting out on interstate ten at a hundred miles an hour going the wrong way and drive head on into an 18 wheeler.



You know I love Camus, actually translated the stranger from french to english.


from memory
"suicide is the only serious philosphical question."
I am nto going to judge it for anyone
but myself.
Camus rejected it but he was not speaking of cases of wasting diseases.

Freud is an interesting subject for a discussion of suicide. Was it the cancer in his jaw all those operations that drove him to it, or was it the outbrake of war again.


Not a logician or a philospher
say hemingway vs freud
despair or disease.

as for despair
jitterbug says no mistake is serrious unles its permanent

For disease I will cross that bridge when or if I come t it.

[mnaz]

Yes.. Just wandering away from it all. I even tried that once, somewhere in eastern Oregon, though it was unintentional-- wasn't quite ready to die-- just profoundly lost in geographical space. It was much easier to get lost up on that vast rolling sage plateau... but even out there I found a cattle station, and sure enough, some rancher came by within a day or so. The great plain may yet have fully wanderable lost space, unless perhaps it's all been fenced off or grazed...

[stilltrucking]

Where did Captain Joshua Slocum:
go?


just to sail off
that's all
to sail off. and
return to the ocean

sail on captain