And it is true about the confidence LRod, (sounds like your interview was swell!), it occurs to me that when you've scrapped along all your life as an artist trying to survive on your own without a lot of support, and a host of conventional scorn, you lose a part of yourself that is golden....or you don't use that part because you have to play a part to get by....now all of a sudden it's like, no more, I am who I am and that's alot, and if you can see that then you will pick me, if not then someone else will who can see you more authentically, and that's better for us, it brings out the best in us.
I'm no longer willing to play up to people to get by, and that is a scary notion when you've not much support, family or otherwise to fall back on.
If this job doesn't pick me, then it's because they want something else and that's ok....someone someday somewhere will want me, warts and all.
And that is where I'm going when it comes to my next job....I'm tired of begging or feeling beggy and desperate. I'd rather be happy in a tent camp than miserable and making just enough to barely get by. I'd rather sign up for the front lines of a big societal change than grovel anymore. I'm fucking sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like a fly on a web of deceit man, and I'm sick of it. I'm better than that.......
H
