Ring Side Seat (editorial comments added)

Post your poetry, any style.
emel.scott
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Ring Side Seat (editorial comments added)

Post by emel.scott » June 6th, 2008, 4:34 pm

Pinned kissed and knees to shoulder spot
8 year old eye locked Domination
Then scratched back rhythmic rolling rock
Soft cheek licked tongue of skin sensation.

Feigns high; drops low then drives to knee clamp fast
Protected by her soft suspended weight
Warped into tangled limbs like pretzels crashed
Grasped hair responds with wetness ‘tween her legs

Reverse form leg locked cleavage view
Chest hair wet, laughter, gasping
Tired muscles punched in sequence climb
With smothered shank and sweating face inclined

Bit breast does cause reactive thumb in eye
The price is paid in words I can’t abide
Submissive cross, “will” coiled, till she cries
This nipple pinched back handed devil’s bride.

Eat dirt and bath in crotch you weak kneed slut
Decapitated by the kilt he wore
He whispers in her ear "You had enough?"
Then sits astride to spank the pony more.

The pleasure bite and pounding vulva sends
Her to the goodly places not foreseen
By money men who to the masses lend
The party favor specimens who preen.

There’s safety in her glowing eyes that plead
Toward kinky Camelot combatants lead
To share one beat of heart inside the mean
And lovers warm embrace that ends this scene.

'07
Last edited by emel.scott on June 6th, 2008, 6:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
We should not mind if on our ear there fell. Some less of cunning, more of oracle...Thoreau

emel.scott
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Post by emel.scott » June 6th, 2008, 6:42 pm

For those of you not familiar with the BDSM/Ds scene this poem is an account of a wrestling match between a former girlfriend of mine and one of my good friends. Wrestling is actually a fetish in the leather (kinky) community. It is not uncommon to match a masochist with a sadist or a male with a female where the outcome is already generally known, thus meeting the needs of both the 'bottom' and the 'Top'. Often the participants are nude or partially dressed. It's very intense and can be both softly sensual and aggressively sexual at the same time. I love to write in the dungeon (kinky clubs) when the opportunity presents itself, as the atmosphere is so totally charged (you could say it is a fetish of mine) This was one such occasion in a club in DC...Thanks, Scott
Last edited by emel.scott on June 6th, 2008, 6:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
We should not mind if on our ear there fell. Some less of cunning, more of oracle...Thoreau

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » June 6th, 2008, 6:52 pm

When you introduced yourself at PIB and said you lived in a community like that, honestly, I thought you were kidding and that it was an exercise in creative writing, like some people's bios are. :)

Guess not. heh

Well, whatever floats yer boat! Cool .... er... i mean... hot poem... nice to meet someone who isn't afraid to rhyme every now and then.

emel.scott
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Post by emel.scott » June 6th, 2008, 7:05 pm

Thanks Doreen for both your comments and for something else... this is the first time I've posted one of these 'alternative' poems in a public forum. I chose Studio 8 for two reasons, one because rhymes seem to be more generally accepted by your members and two because you are such a free spirit that I feel more comfortable revealing some of my other facets in this venue. That is not intended as a slight to the other sites as much as it is a compliment to you. Chemistry is always important. You can be very proud of what you've created here... Scott
We should not mind if on our ear there fell. Some less of cunning, more of oracle...Thoreau

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hester_prynne
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Post by hester_prynne » June 6th, 2008, 7:07 pm

Wow.
This would be good as a narration in a video too. I mean for an andrognist/realist/heartist like me it's hard to .....relate.
H 8)
"I am a victim of society, and, an entertainer"........DW

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » June 6th, 2008, 7:22 pm

Well, Scott... I take that as a compliment.

Actually, most people here don't rhyme and I've had some debating words with a few about rhyme but hey, in my opinion, rhyme, if used well, is a valid and can be an effective tool of the craft. I use end rhyme on occasion... more often with my fluff fun poems just playing around... but I've also been known to write sonnets and villanelles. For the most part, though, I am a free verse poet but I often incorporate interior rhyme.

Basically, i think a poet should be respected for whatever voice he wants to use, that includes both content and format. If you feel free enough to relay your personal life here, that's just fine by me, but like hester, I can't relate to it myself. I have a hard enough time with one lover at a time!!! Yikes, I can't imagine complicating matters with more than that! LOL!

But I think you'll find that the people who post here are non-judgmental and accepting of each other (including myself). I'm glad you felt that in the spirit of the place. That's not to say we haven't had and won't have in the future some serious debates and it's also not to say that there haven't been personal battles fought on these pages, but that's what being human is all about.

We have one rule here and one rule only... and that's to respect each other. And that means accepting each other. Name calling and personal assaults get dumped into the dumpster at the bottom of the page and later deleted. I don't know why I'm bringing that up at this point but it just goes along with the respect rule so I thought I'd mention it.

Again, glad you feel comfortable here! Post your wildest poetry if you want. That's fine with me. But if you decide to illustrate it with actual photos, well, we'd probably have to draw the line there, yanno? hehe... I do amuse myself.

;)

oh... just one more thing...

We don't have an "adult only" forum like some sites do where the members have to sign an electronic affidavit to state that they are 18 years old or older. Our site accepts memberships from 13-years-old and older. Not that we have that many young people here but you never know. Just sayin'... I'm not sure how graphic you plan on getting but if you could keep this fact in mind, I'd appreciate it. make sense? sure it does. thanks :)

emel.scott
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Post by emel.scott » June 6th, 2008, 8:12 pm

" but like hester, I can't relate to it myself. I have a hard enough time with one lover at a time!!! Yikes, I can't imagine complicating matters with more than that! LOL! "

yes, but we'll always have Paris...oh yeah, you haven't written that yet :D hmmm guess we'll just go on reading Harlequin Forest and dreaming :wink:

ps...thanks for that last tidbit, I'll keep it in mind
We should not mind if on our ear there fell. Some less of cunning, more of oracle...Thoreau

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Lightning Rod
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Post by Lightning Rod » June 6th, 2008, 8:45 pm

this offends me
not because of it's crude subject matter
but because it's lame poetry
just my opinion
continue
"These words don't make me a poet, these Eyes make me a poet."

The Poet's Eye

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » June 6th, 2008, 9:17 pm

Scott

Lrod has just given you the perfect example of how all of our members respect each other.


:roll:

geez

cheap shot Rod

couldn't you at least have said, "I'm not a fan of rhyming poetry" or something in a nicer way?

good grief

emel.scott
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Post by emel.scott » June 6th, 2008, 9:27 pm

I appreciate your frankness Rod. I'm not thin skinned. Please expand with some examples if you have the time. I'm still open to learning (note to self: have secretary call Haiti and order an LRod Voodoo Doll...just kidding Rod, I don't even have a secretary :-)
We should not mind if on our ear there fell. Some less of cunning, more of oracle...Thoreau

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Lightning Rod
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Post by Lightning Rod » June 6th, 2008, 9:40 pm

emel

I'm not famous for my tact, but I am known for my honesty.

You want me to be more specific:

from what I've seen of your work, you have keen wit and great courage. These are necessary traits in a poet. My complaints are more technical. This piece has faltering or non-existent rhythm. The rhymes are strained. The tenses are twisted. You are using to many passive forms. Stuff like that.

If you want more specific critique, you can sign up at my website and for only $19.95 a month I will insult your poetry in greater detail.

Keep going emel. It's all in good humor.
"These words don't make me a poet, these Eyes make me a poet."

The Poet's Eye

emel.scott
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Post by emel.scott » June 6th, 2008, 10:02 pm

Thanks for the compliment about the wit and courage, the technical things are where I'm weakest so I'm happy for your insight and after I look up what 'passive forms' mean I'll get to work on it...I hope that you will comment on some of the other rhyming poems I post here, I think they are a little more polished then this real time piece...oh yeah, you can forget the $19.95, that's what I pay for the porn sight I belong to and I'm not giving that up (if you were cuter, maybe :D )
We should not mind if on our ear there fell. Some less of cunning, more of oracle...Thoreau

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Lightning Rod
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Post by Lightning Rod » June 6th, 2008, 10:13 pm

sorry I'm not cuter
but when you get to know me you'll find that I have an 'inner cuteness'

what I'm talking about when I say 'passive forms' is your verb forms. I've found that poetry works better when it's active. It works better when you don't separate yourself from the action. Be more immediate. When I read this poem, I feel myself separated from the action. I feel like an observer rather than a participant. Active verbs. Smells, sounds, feelings.

(about the $19.95, how about if I give you the first month free?)
"These words don't make me a poet, these Eyes make me a poet."

The Poet's Eye

emel.scott
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Post by emel.scott » June 6th, 2008, 10:50 pm

first month free huh? hell, that's how I got hooked by that porn site!

btw would you really like to have been a participant, I've seen what's under that kilt, it's scary!

but really LRod thanks for caring enough to engage, it means a lot to me.
We should not mind if on our ear there fell. Some less of cunning, more of oracle...Thoreau

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judih
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Post by judih » June 6th, 2008, 10:52 pm

hey, hi emel.scott
i read the comments before i read the poem. why not and well there it is.
so, it was with great expectation that i approached your rhymes and content.

well, now!
a shakespearean feel in those passive verbs - quite cool. i like the sound of it.
the erotic aspect is portrayed with that elegant distance.
interesting piece, and i appreciate you having searched for a public forum for a year (or so) and finally placing it here for our cute or innerly cute eyes.

welcome. let's see what else you've feared to show.
(Where's four degrees? He's a fun reader)

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