kiwi times three

[constantine]

1. kiwi trouble

hey kiwi
this time you've gone too far
emu was good to you
then you beaked him in the tuft
when his back was turned
that ain't kosher kiwi
that ain't even katholic
nobody does emu like that
nobody
no matter what
and here's another thing
you may or may not know
kiwi
i don't want you anymore
hit the bricks terrabird
you flightless wonder
for a diminutive kiwi
you sure got a lot of nerve

2. kiwi goes hawaiian

waka waka kiwi
kiwi awalaka
mini mini emu
emu oblongata
cassowary carroway
tiki biki luau
rhea moa krakatoa
lava lava pow pow
kiki kiki kiwi
kiwi awalaka

3. kiwi and the lost duplex

poor kiwi
what are you going to do now
chee-chee dino
kiwi no know what to do
chee-chee squawk!
calm down kiwi
we can work this out
whatever the problem is
i'm sure it is diminutive
scree-screee scraww!
kiwi lose duplex
kiwi no home go
tough break kiwi
scraww!

[saw]

nothing like a kiwi triple play to enliven the day...you are truly the

the Don Ho My Goodness of Terrabird Interpretation ......

When the world gets too heavy, we can count on you, Dino

though I'm sure you do bear a heavy load as the official spokesman

for Terrabirds and Cephlalopods, it's a tough job .....

Keep up the good work, you have dedicated your life to a noble cause

[constantine]

he ain't heavy he's my kiwi brother. cephalopods aren't heavy either cause they live underwater. all things considered, it's a tough job that has to be done. at least 80 percent of donations will be spent exclusively on terrabirds.

[mtmynd]

now that was properly informative and humorous, don't you think? The second stanza was right up my proverbial alley, being an astute admirer of creative writing.

i once wrote a poem about a purple sunflower only because there is no known purple sunflower and to the best of my reckoning, no poem had ever been written about a purple sunflower.

keep them diverse, keep them creative, constantine. i'll read 'em.

[Doreen Peri]

hahahahahahahahahaha!

thank you, dino.... you made my morning bright!

I bet even Super Robot Girl would laugh when reading this and she's not even programmed to laugh!

[constantine]

one can only hope doreen.

thanks guys!

[mindbum]

muchly enjoying these birdbaths.

[constantine]

thanks mb. cp

[emel.scott]

(reposted from PIB)

I went to a party a few years back at the New Zealand Embassy (which they rent out for private parties) on the grounds of the Naval Observatory in DC (where the VP's residence is as well). I wasn't much interested in anything or anyone 'cept for the ice mountain they built where they were pouring vodka shooters straight down a ravine into your mouth. So, after a bit of that I wondered/stumbled into the study where low and behold, right there on the mantle under a glass dome; stuffed kiwi. Guess the "Kiwi's" are a little complacent about their national bird because no one bothered to secure the lid, damn. We became fast friends he and I (hmm that's an assumption, how do you tell their sex?) I carried him around the rest of the night introducing him as Seymour, my reincarnated father. When a few when a few smart asses pointed out that the bird was dead, I moved his head and ventriloquized(?) "So's the emu, fuck you" (OK, so I added that part) Loved that little guy, does that make me both incestuos and gay?


*this on the sex issue from Kiwinewz: http://www.kiwinewz.com/html/april_1999.htm

"Seems them in the know have a major problem telling the sex of Kiwis and staff at the Queenstown Kiwi and Birdlife Park were a tad surprised when "Baldric" hatched an egg. So the Massey University and a bit of DNA sampling are trying to improve on the traditional methods used - bill length, call and size. I think I would rather leave it a surprise ...."

[hester_prynne]

Hawaiian kiwi make me warm allovah
likea da tiny bubbles
in gourmet kum by ah sauce.
hulatious scribing
emuational in fact....
H