- OFF, OFF, OFF -

[HaroHalola]

Getting off
on the Planete
not L' Air du Vent
these vagary, tabid Days...
For what remaindered?

Are We sussing
the Air nourish'd
Mammoth hair? or
woolfed, hisuit stolid bullies. And
does the Dusk's excitable orange
play to the clay of Prometheus?
Nay!

A Planete
of commoners 'mongst
Uncommons in disarray,
fragdemented, plundereee,
"plunderah, plundereee, plunderahahahahaha..."

Offing
the Planete?
This is a job
for Stupormen
(see above, er below)
sportysavants
igno-rant
of
the
Savanna,
The Great Rift
('cept with purported Lovers, & Tweedtweededumbosses),
where B.B. King meets King Tutuncommon, tut-tut!

Ya say ya want a Devo-lution?
Well ya know, We all want
the clime ta change ta change the clime?
Even the unscantilyclad Pithologysts?
(I only view It for the Articles on "Chappaquiddick!," &
Primitive?Percussives -
kalimbo-mbaracas-mbaracas!).

Off-of
The Planete?
Tacit We're immured, inured
on a whirling, swirling
Ship-of-Malestrum-Fools,
unschooled, drooling stolids
(see above-Above)
Unthinkers thoughtcaught
by oily, effishient tankers,
hankerin' for Bigness...

Hey, butt
if ya got
the cache 'o cache
Mr. & Mrs. Callipygian
ya scram aboard
the New Approach Star Availer
(Drachmas behind)
& lament the 'scape!

Us?
Some few
Gott
the
HG Reverie
ta 'pult the Soul from
the Whole -
Most in fickle sell-anemia
(see above, er below)
So, there ain't nowhere to go?
Indeed, the Finale Frontier, void
of chips 'n beer, if
this what gets ya off, Nay!
$upport of Sturm Warring
$tupormensavants, into offering
The Planete's Offing!

Even, the
New Approach Star Availer?
The new stolidarity...
& without escape, through the Clever Sky, Driver?
the Blind leading, bleeding the bleedin' blindfolded
from Planete Morlde`?
Immure to Selfdoms!

H.e.m.H'H.
7.10.MMviii.
(Nolo Contendere)

[Lightning Rod]

I'm sorry Hola, but your poetry is too much work
if I really dig and wade through the lofty language
I do get a smile on occasion, but I'm too lazy for that
I believe I referred to your work as being Poundesque
it's so obscure that it doesn't relate to anything that touches the reader
here is a suggestion: grab em first and then baffle them rather than the other way around. Study the real greats like Rod McKuen and the Hallmark school. I'm not saying dumb it down, but accessibility is requisite to understanding and when the light of understanding goes on, that is what makes a poem.

[stilltrucking]

HaroHalol that was a satisfying poetry experience for this reader.


I wish I could offer some constructive criticism, but I am just a fan.
I have never been to one of those poetry slam events, I guess they must be something like a competition.

[Super Robot Girl]

Offing
the Planete?
This is a job
for Stupormen

Sure. Just try it. Stupormen can't stop it. But Super Robot Girl can.

[mtmynd]

Another mental morsel from the HaroHalola Psyche Deli
No reservations. All you can consume(mate). Weighty.

[HaroHalola]

Hola! Hola! Hola! Step right up, yessiree, see The Ballooned Buffoon juggle the Magic Language Balls, grabbin'/stabbin'/blabbin' throughout his Act! And, boys 'n girls, if you've occasion to simper a smile, well, then, uh, um, The Ballooned Buffoon will reward you with an encore of "The Work Song," sung in the style of that Hallmark of Greatness, Rod McKuen. But don't be of ennui, now, 'cause Pound-fer-Pound The Ballooned Buffoon is highly suggestible (save digestible) to the Eternal Light Of Understanding, so there's no margin for Sorry, here, uh-uh, oh no, just roll up yer pants legs an' sleeves, have your momma help to blow your nose, point to the East (plenty of Rumi for this), & when the Light shines, do your Best Bush for 15 min. of A. Whorehole fame! Hostis humani generis H'H./H.e.m.


[/i]

[Lightning Rod]

I'm laughing so hard

this is the most wonderful pimp slapping I've had in a while
call me a masochist


"hit me," said the masochist
"I won't," said the sadist

[mnaz]

Personally, I think we're closer to the woolfed, hisuit, stolid bullies, but what do I know? No one invites me to parties anymore.

This is really quite good. Many good lines and constructs... the "plunderee" bit is excellent.

[judih]

oh, i wish i could be with the folks who speak with sir ha at parties.
parties? (mnaz, are there parties, still?)
i also like that l-rod admirably attempts everytime to get into haha's work, and leaves his responses

i like the wild allusions, the coming together of fragments of literary and meme-style soundbites, in an elegant piece.

[stilltrucking]

The fact that so many others not only read it with no problem but understand it

Who said that?
Who said they understood it.

I don't understand what you are saying
you mean you must understand a poem like you understand the directions of a recipe?
I just liked reading the poem because he always challenges me. Makes me wonder about what he meant, sometimes I have to look up words, sometimes he seems to make up words. It all is very satisfying for me to think about a poem. If I wanted to understand everything I read I would read cookbooks. Which is fun too but different, if I don't understand a recipe it is frustrating and can be a disaster. If I don't understand a poem it stretches my consciousness, makes me think a little bit more. And that is good brain exercise for geezers like me.

Maybe you need to read it three more times
three times three more times
three to the tenth power extrapolated to infinity more times
if you read it six times a day for the next ten years
who knows what wonders you may discover?

I am an idiot I read the same books over and over
Sometimes I will spend thirty years trying to read a book

Sorry Doreen
I guess my short answer
is
I don't understand what you mean.

My apologies
I am sure I am not making sense


I think I will stop reading on this board
It is too confusing to me
I love poetry
it's got dam fucking poets I hate.

[stilltrucking]

The words make no sense to me.

which words?

Just to pick a word at random
from Har's poem

Are We sussing

"Sussing" maybe word used by Douglas Adams in one of his novels
It means something like "grok" used in a Heinlein novel


I liked the poem
I am not smart enough to understand it
I just liked the poem
Cause it made me wonder

I just don't wonder enough
I used to stand and wonder
Now I only stand
and wobble


I will now shut up
and sit on my hands

[mtmynd]

eLRod and Doreen - you guys sound like a couple of old, out-of-touch conservatives sipping martinis amusing yourselves thru defensive critiquing. Doreen, you named this board, 'Creative Writing,' not Action Poetry or Simply Poetry, yes?

whenever one goes where others dare not
the journey is sure to bring comments
stretching from one end of the spectrum all
the way to the other side and all in between

two against and four for equal enough positive
to appreciate the results of creativity made up of
words and made-up words that bring together
a fresh new look of perhaps non-poeticks but
surely a destination carved out of one's own
mental processes that may and may not be appreciated.

as i've written before on this - new abstraction often
leaves the viewer (in this case, reader) scratching
their heads and wondering : what is this ? it's not poetry...
but has Haro Halola ever once claimed his work is anything
but what is read? The skeptics fear their own unknowing.

((sorry, HaroHalola, as i know you handle your criticisms quite well, but i had to chime in))

[stilltrucking]

So you are saying I am trying to debate?
no thank you
i been there done that
out of here

[WIREMAN]

early in the morning....saturday.....this is the kind of stuff i likes to read w/my cafe....thanks harohalloween.....

[mtmynd]

Dor'... "... if you think I'm an out-of-touch conservative when it comes to writing..."

please re-read what I wrote: "...you guys sound like a couple of old, out-of-touch conservatives... "

'sound like' and 'thinking you are' (always and forever..?) are in opposition to each other. In reading your comments (and Clay's) i clearly pictured what i had written... i turned the image into words. was i completely wrong? i don't believe it's a matter of right or wrong but simply an observation based upon the comments you guys made about Haro's piece, period. I know that you (and Clay) are not conservatives judging by the various posts you've made over the years.

i can appreciate you enjoying poems that sing-song... i rather do myself. but i see that style as song writing and not in the same category as creative writing - two different genres, comparing shallots and kiwis. why? 'tis better to take them as they are - two different tastes for two different times.

((sorry, Haro, for the hijacking of your thread! i lost control. please don't let these comments deter you from your writing.))