click

Post by **constantine** » July 15th, 2008, 10:29 am

welcome to the playground of the western world
technokids, whizzers, and wowzers
erecto set creativity
we will build poems the likes
of which the world has never seen
we'll screw words together
bizarre configurations
fuse cow with lion
and see if it moos
plastoforms and rockem sockems
dancing to the beat
of mechanical monkey drums
clicks, clacks, and the white
noise of the inaudible
metalphors, stainless
steel reflectors, blinking lights
spinning wheels and gears
cracko jacko
buzz whirr
click
the sweaty tip of an iceberg
evaporating in the heat
call it what you will
you can call it avant garde
you can call it anything
some would say it's adventure
boldly going where...

Post by **Christopher T. George** » July 15th, 2008, 10:33 am

Hi Dino

I have commented elsewhere that I like this piece. As I noted the only nit I have is with "unusual configurations" which appears to need the same kick you give the rest of the piece: maybe "bizarro configurations" will fix it.

All the best

Chris

Post by **constantine** » July 15th, 2008, 10:37 am

sounds good chris, but i'll leave off the o. thanks.

Post by **mindbum** » July 15th, 2008, 12:21 pm

lows? lioncow= lao low. cion?sighon.

meooo?

but the click and clack kerthwack and sizzle of current
is integral to our evry action.

deliciously helpless.

i enjoyed.

Post by **Lightning Rod** » July 15th, 2008, 2:00 pm

constantine wrote: the sweaty tip of an iceberg
evaporating in the heat

this caught my eye and my imagination
nice contrast to use sweat and iceberg in the same line

Post by **saw** » July 15th, 2008, 5:04 pm

Dino, please tell me this is not the future, you're freakin' me out man...
I hope your wrong and this futuristic world does not come into being....
What's up with all the gloom and doom, man...you know this will never happen.....it won't, Will it ?.....Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Post by **stilltrucking** » July 15th, 2008, 10:43 pm

we will build poems the likes
of which the world has never seen

you da pinball wizard of words

Post by **hester_prynne** » July 17th, 2008, 11:48 am

build it and they will come.
Great write, loved reading it....
as usual wid you....

H

Post by **mtmynd** » August 3rd, 2008, 4:27 pm

thx to somebody we both know, my attention has been brought to this poem, dino. i'm glad i was. this is a very cool and creative write. me gusto mucho, amigo.

Post by **mnaz** » August 3rd, 2008, 4:39 pm

The tip of the Stratosphere Tower in Vegas
stands several miles above the desert floor.
And it is attacked by lightning at times.
Welcome to the playground.
It ain't pretty,
it's beautiful.

Post by **stilltrucking** » August 3rd, 2008, 4:54 pm

yes the future is beautiful
and it is already here
but most people think it is a studebaker.

Post by **mnaz** » August 3rd, 2008, 5:22 pm

Or something tall and erect and struck by lightning at least.

The future is beautiful, my friends!
There are no limits to the overestimation of it.
It is exactly like now, but now becomes literarily boring.
Did I say literarily? Is that even a word?
Literature urges on the next war.
Literature has a questionable
track record.

Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

click

click

Re: click

Who is online