new years stain

[SmileGRL]

on the topic of sleeplessness...

***
new years eve
i
curl
in
pain
pop pills like m&m's
eat. laugh. talk.
bleed rivers
drink champaign
play games till 3 am
darkness gulps me down
& traps me in a song
where we will NEVER belong
4 am. i breathe you in
you
strip
me
down
play every fantasy
like bad porn
in my warped sLeEPLesS brain
5 am. i dance in blood
i
dance
for
you,
my beloved UNborn
i dance barefoot on your non existing graves
i grieve for you, my babies, my UNborn
by 6, i am insane
(again) i come a thousand times
in
every
possible
way
until there's no more pain
shh! no more…more…
you leave my mind the way you came
uninvited. aNd sTill ThAt sOng
pLaYs
and plays (!)
like a stain that won't go away
play. stop. rewind. REplay
a million times. no fade to gray
i HATE that song! i love that song
i feel sick. i feel no more
at last, mercifully
sleep saves the day
just before i render myself inane
on this hApPy nEw YearS dAy (!)
hey hey


(Jan 1 2008)

[hester_prynne]

Whoa!
This is incredible to read, to let seep in, despite conditioned urges not to, the way you go there is brave and refreshing to my unconditioned side.
Bravo
H

[Perdida]

I totally agree with Hester.

Really really loved the lines below....

darkness gulps me down
& traps me in a song

i dance barefoot on your non existing graves

you leave my mind the way you came
uninvited.

Thank You!

[mtmynd]

to begin a new year with a poem is a good sign, mj... and this one is quite the effort. i enjoy it on two levels - content (honesty and rawness) and the construct (the visual adds to the intrigue of content). I like this quite a bit. it continues holds my interest after 3 reads now.

good work!

[SmileGRL]

thanks hester, perdida & cecil!