Crave

hester_prynne · Post by **hester_prynne** » January 9th, 2005, 8:09 am

I rise lethargic,
out of sloth's
big comforting arms.
I pull verse
out of dead gardens.
My heart isn't in it.
My heart, is nowhere to be found.

Swaddled, loosely,
in lingerie silk,
I expose my soft,
pliable fields,
in candlelight.
I crave some fresh seed.
I crave it planted deep, in my underground.

Post by **Dave The Dov** » January 9th, 2005, 8:46 am

A harvest of verse
can be found in the ground
when you dig down
_________________
Honda CBR600F2

Post by **Doreen Peri** » January 9th, 2005, 9:51 am

mmmmmmmm

oh yeah! get some, gurl!

*wink*

sexy write..... i love it!

i'm going back to bed for a while.... i'm going to dream up some erotica and come back and write it down.

you've inspired me!

bravo!

Post by **Zlatko Waterman** » January 9th, 2005, 2:35 pm

A powerful erotic, yet not vulgar, poem, Hester.

The lines preceding the "seed" ending are very strong, but so is the whole.

If I were revising this, and if it were my poem, I would pull out one line that seems not to deepen, but to depiliate the surface so keenly built:

The second "My heart . . ." line. While the novelty of "nowhere to be found" is strong and lends the poem some power and whimsy, I think the starkness and "classicism", not to say minimalism of the poem is better served without that line.

But look at me-- it takes me ten years to write a poem.

Beautiful . . . girl

Zlatko

hester_prynne · Post by **hester_prynne** » January 9th, 2005, 4:16 pm

Crave.
cravey.
craven.
A crone's fallow cry.
Invulgar jiggles,
erotic mumbles.
Vulnerable vulcaness,
meets vague humaness,
creeping up,
in the dark middle,
of the night.

Dave, Doreen, and Zlatko, thank you for attending to such bold shyness, so kindly.

H

perezoso · Post by **perezoso** » January 9th, 2005, 4:42 pm

The winter field
shaven of stubble
ripe for the foison

hester_prynne · Post by **hester_prynne** » January 9th, 2005, 5:10 pm

Fellini foibled
fanciful feasts,
flora and fauna

Post by **Dave The Dov** » January 9th, 2005, 6:15 pm

Feast for at least
it will stay the hunger
of the beast
_________________
Honda Big Ruckus

Post by **mindbum** » January 9th, 2005, 6:46 pm

i'm with zlatko on the second heart line.

and i'd say drop 'in my' in the last line. gives a little more ooomph.

nice.

hester_prynne · Post by **hester_prynne** » January 9th, 2005, 8:52 pm

I rise lethargic,
out of sloth's
big comforting arms.
I pull verse
out of dead gardens.
My heart isn't in it.

Swaddled loosely,
in lingerie silk,
I expose my soft,
pliable fields,
in candlelight.
I crave some fresh seed.
I crave it planted deep, underground.

much thanks zlatko and mb, I like it this way too.

H

Post by **Axanderdeath** » January 9th, 2005, 9:03 pm

it is funny
deep in the ground
it is funny
I would not want to leave it there
seeds are annoying
and when they sprout
they make you
not want to garden again for a while...

Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

Crave

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