Internet vs. In-person

[Nazz]

People say things on the internet they would never say in person.

Yes, this is true.

We all have different writing styles and some are more skilled than others in writing what they intend to say in an easily interpreted way. There are also as many readers as their are interpretations.

Yes. True again. Good thoughts, Doreen.

And yes, Cec. I suppose familiarity tends toward the ol' burnout at times. It happens sometimes. Can't argue with that. Wish I could.

[Arcadia]

funny title, it sounds like a boxing round publicity!!!!!!

not at all versus, just different. Also the concept "real" is a bit tricky for different reasons. I use real-real to talk about world outside internet, but I wonder if that is real-real now anyway?.

difficulty grades? face to face and daily could be a challenge too!!!!!! I had and have people (some dear some not at all) still around me with with communication was and is a long-learning-trip!!!!!!

as I said in some other thread writing-art is personal and at the same time not, and paradoxically it´s a great communication point/opportunity!.

familiarity? yeah, it could be!! sometimes I tend to be too familiar to myself!!!!! ...mmm.... the boring-thing & too defensive thing?? yeah, it also sounds familiar!!!!!!

maybe the more remarcable difference that I found between internet-based-communications and more face-to-face based communications is that the first ones have a more opaque-explicit-psicodramatic-ad-absurdum-theatrical tone. Interesting, also!!!!

[Doreen Peri]

Trucking said something about Wireman's grand exit and him being insulted on the way out.

No, it's never all right to insult people. On the net or in person.

Two weeks ago we had a discussion about my arguments with Clay which have happened on this site, most of which centered on my saying please don't insult people. And it was told that I was perpetuating a bad experience by the confrontations. I sure didn't know what to say about that. What do I do when someone insults people on here? Nothing? If I say something and it turns into an argument, then what? Am I handling it badly?

I stick by my statement that some people will say things on the internet that they would never say to each other in person. And some people use words in ways that other people don't. We are each responsible for our own words.

But I'm tellin' ya, I'm not responsible for your words or for anybody else's. Only my own.

I agree with Cecil that people can get tired of each other and need breaks. I'm a big fan of going to several websites at the same time so you have a variety of experiences. I have always done this myself. I've never hit only one site exclusively.

And I agree with Cecil's statement that even in person, you may not know people well and sometimes it's hard to even know yourself.

The internet has many fine features and offers us the ability to be in touch with others all over the world and share our writings and poetry and music, but it's TOTALLY different than knowing people in person.

I'm very disappointed that, after 4 years online, there have been only a few problems on this site and then all of a sudden out of the clear blue sky someone decides they don't like someone else and all hell breaks loose. And he doesn't even name the person here. He goes to other websites to name him and make his comments. And these are two people who know each other in person and seem to enjoy each other's company very much. I again reiterate that I do not believe these type of arguments would happen in person.

I went away for a week and have no clue what happened around here while I was gone. All I can say is it's disappointing to see people upset and arguing.

If any of you have any better ideas about how to run this website, have at it. Tell me what they are.

As a matter of fact, the site is yours. So, if you want to be Admins, I'll make you Admins. Just let me know and the job is yours.

I'm going to write poetry myself.

________

And to 'trucking.... Yeah, I think it's a good idea to say goodbye when you're leaving to go on vacation or when you realize your life has taken you different directions and you want to say goodbye to your friends. But even in real life, it's not a good idea to say goodbye to people like this, "I'm outa here! I don't like one of you! I'm not telling you which one it is, but I don't like one of you! So I'm leaving! And I'm not coming back." I don't get that kind of behavior. If someone walked into a party and told all the guests that at the party, everybody would go, "Huh? What the hell are you talking about?" And that's what I feel has happened here. No explanation, nothing. Just a grand dramatic exit which has taken a LOT of all of our times.

________

I told myself I wasn't going to get back into the topic of the day but I guess this has messed with my head and my heart so deeply, I had to say something more.

My advice to those who have a problem with anyone is to speak to them directly.

________

And I think we should all try to be NICE to each other and supportive. That's my take on life. Be nice. Be supportive. It's so easy to do.

Apologies for this lengthy post

Maybe I need to take a break.

[Lightning Rod]

my policy about internet communication

I don't say anything to anybody online that I wouldn't say to them in person.

In fact, I would be much more likely to shoot my mouth off in person. When you do it online, some idiot can dig it up after months or years and throw it back in your face. Our presidential candidates are feeling the sting of this.

When you hit that send button, you've put your dick on the table.

Some may have illusions that there is some sort of intimacy or confidentiality in this medium but these same people also believe in the Genesis version of evolution.

How many scandals have been spawned just in the past few years involving some retrieved emails or IM communication between some congressman and his intern or between one bureaucrat to another? It's not private.

[stilltrucking]

I like that metaphor in genesis Clay. The bit about Tiamat. The darkness in the deep, the chaos. Powerful shit. Or is it a metaphor when the people that wrote it believed it was the literal truth? We come along behind it with our quantum mechanical mysticism and call it a metaphor.

But anyway...

When you do it online, some idiot can dig it up after months or years and throw it back in your face.

Not if you are an administrator here Clay. You can delete your posts out of sequence. You can delete your posts even after someone else has replied to them.

I deleted a post about your mother Clay, I was trying to be cruel. I hope she is doing okay. I hope you are talking to her. It is good therapy I think. It is also good for a mother to hear her son cry for her too.

You know doreen maybe you are right.
about the internet and being face to face.
Sure you are right.
Thanks for explaining what you meant.
I will say no more about wireman
I have said too much already.


Nobody here I want to meet
But I love live music
There are people here I would love to listen to live.
I don't care if it is memorex or not, nothing beats live music.

It does not matter to me if I ever meet the artists here
but I would love to meet their work up close and personal.

The writers, the guys who just write stuff, well why would I want to meet them? I can read them.


Clay you are an internet rambo. But you got a poetic license, you can say anything you want and call it harmless hyperbole. No need to take responsibility for your words.

I decided to call myself a poet, try some harmless hyperbole So I called you a piece of shit with two legs and a pony tail. I deleted the post. I also asked how's your mama. I was pretty disgusted with my self. That is our only chance for any dignity I think, that ability to be disgusted with our selves.


Can you admistrators with your lordly power to delete your inanities right out of the middle of a thread also have the ability to read what I am writing here before I post it I wonder?

You know Cecil as much as I love Mnaz's writing I do get tired of hearing him whine about sunday school.

But it is necessary
for him to do so
so I try to be tolerant.

I can understand why my drivel annoys him.

With a super human leap of faith I am going to try and give him a respite from me.


I am not going to post to creative again

At least I hope not.

[Doreen Peri]

Can you admistrators with your lordly power to delete your inanities right out of the middle of a thread also have the ability to read what I am writing here before I post it I wonder?

Be an administrator and find out. Maybe you'd like the job. I'll give my admin job to you so you can figure out whether you can look over your own shoulder to figure out what to do next.

I'm still trying to look over my old shoulder and figure out what I'm writing. Basically not much of it makes sense to me.

Sign up now!

[stilltrucking]

Yeah right

No thanks clay, whoops, no thanks doreen. I still remember the hissy fit whimsical deb threw when one of her posts got accidently deleted by an adminstrator. And hester's user ID got deleted and she did not say beans about it. Not one complaint. I would love to hear her sing, I woud love to be seated in the back of the room with my back against the wall and hear her live. I would even go to a bar. As much as drunks scare me I would go hear in the roughest honky tonk anywhere just to hear Hester Sing.

You know the thread I am refering to about deleting your replies right out of the middle of it?

That was slick.

I am looking for my Cat's Paw avatar, cause that is how I feel right now.

[Doreen Peri]

I deleted my reply to THIS thread, edited it, and reposted it.

As an admin, you can delete anything, move it around, create new forums, do whatever you want to create the site.

It's work but you're welcome to it if you change your mind.

Never meant to delete hester's original posting name but it was an accident and I felt awful about it. I was deleting something like 50-75 bots a day... well not just me... judih, too.

But I'm the one who made that error.

Sorry, Jack, but the internet isn't perfect. It's work.

If you want to help? Let me know.

[Doreen Peri]

Yeah right

No thanks clay, whoops, no thanks doreen.

That was a very strange comment. Sorry but I'm ME, I'm not Clay. He can't post as me. He doesn't know my password. Nobody does.

Peace n love.

[Lightning Rod]

I've never deleted anything here except double posts

anybody can delete their own posts or edit them

[stilltrucking]

I know it was an accident Doreen. But WD was pretty sure it was judih who did it deliberately.

speaking of hester I edited the above post while you were replying. I added this bit.

I would love to hear her sing, I woud love to be seated in the back of the room with my back against the wall and hear her live. I would even go to a bar. As much as drunks scare me I would go to the roughest honky tonk anywhere just to hear Hester Sing.

Maybe the best help I can give is just to try and be a more careful writer.

Sure I want to help D, but I don't think I have the competence. I think I would screw things up. And I am not sure how secure my computer is. I am constanly having to de worm it.

But anything I can do to help
let me know.
I have a G4 powerbook that I could use just for studio eight.

I miss the hell out of wireman.
I am going over to thistles and marigolds to jam

I don't think I will jam here anymore.

[stilltrucking]

No I was talking about a thread of Doreen’s clay. I don't want to talk about that no more.

Speaking of face to face, I got a friend who worked for your old alma mater in Huntsville. He was sitting in an interview with a guy and all of a sudden the hairs on the back of my friends neck started to prickle. Everything seemed cool, the guy was smiling relaxed but my friend picked up on the guy’s homicidal intent. And started listening more intently to what he was saying.

My old friend is not one given to wild imaginings, he don't scare easy like I do.

He quit that job in Huntsville because the head shrink was crazy. The guy decided that privacy would be good for the prisoners and so he wanted to put curtains on the cells.

He went to work for the VA; he is one of those physicians who believe that the practice of medicine is an art.


He is getting ready to retire. I have been encouraging him to write about his work. He had one patient who was paralyzed in her right arm. She is now a star right-handed pitcher in a softball league. Turns out she was a military policeman who was afraid she was going to use her gun to shoot someone. I don't know the details; maybe she was a rape victim in the military. There must be a joke in there somewhere, Right?

Talk about bad URL's
a psychological counseling company had the URL
therapist.com.
Have I hijacked mnaz's thread?

sorry

I don't see how you remained as sane as you are clay, four years?

[Doreen Peri]

Jack,

Why don't you write to wireman or go register at Arcanum Cafe... he posts there

http://arcanumcafe.com/community

or register at Poetry in Baltimore
He posts there, too
and so do I and so does clay and constantine and saw and emal
(funny thing to me that wireman didn't quit that site but he quit this one... same person he doesn't like posts there)

Here's the link
http://poetryinbaltimore.com/smf/

Or you can find wireman at judih's tribes site and you already have a link to that because I saw you there last night.

How can you miss someone who you just saw yesterday?

thanks for your offer to help... but if you don't feel comfortable about it then maybe we can talk about it more to help you feel comfortable... sounds like you have a great computer!

If judih deleted a post by accident and said i was by accident, then it was by accident. I have the ultimate trust in her.

Mostly, the only thing we've all done was delete bots. We all did that nonstop for a while before I got my son to add a math question to the registration process. I change the banners. For the most part, it's me who creates the forums and moves them around.

Oh and judih has helped a lot in the past with announcing, opening and locking up jams, plus she's been a dear friend and has helped me keep my head on straight, contrary to some opinions that it's still askew.

[stilltrucking]

Doreen if Clay got kicked off arcanum i don't think I would last long there either.

I miss wireman on the go board here. I think your software is better, it takes forever to post there, it kind of drags. Only reason I go there is to see wireman.

Your son is a chip off the old block.

Yes I write for you doreen, I had a long thread with cecil about a Neal Cassady and Allen Gisnberg video. The whole time I am posting it I am trying to do it with you in mind. Careful with my quotes, trying to give links to to where the quotes were from.

Doreen if you want me to leave I will leave. Just because you asked me too. Okay

Believe me baby sister if you ask me to go, I will go.

just because you asked me too

and I won't come back unless you ask me too

I promise. No hard feelings.

if mnaz don't mind I am going to put a link to a waylon jennings song I love.
Here

[Doreen Peri]

I don't want you to go, Jack!

I post at about 5 sites at any given time. I never limit myself to one site. Other people who post at Arcanum are judih, cecil, smilegirl, goldenmyst, constantine, saw, .... oh man, I'd have to check the member list... Lots of people who post on Studio Eight also post on Arcanum. Clay got kicked off there the same reason he's gotten kicked off of other sites.... They have rules. *shrug*... You have to be able to follow the rules on certain sites on the internet. He can't, apparently.

You're welcome to go to all these sites we go to see Wireman since you said you missed him. I miss him here, too, but it's his preogative where he posts. Look at the member list. Think of all the people who USED to post here but don't any more. I miss all of them. One day, maybe they'll come back but hey, new people come on board every few days so I'm not going to mourn.

Your son is a chip off the old block.

I don't know what you meant by that but I am honored you'd put me in the same category as him. My son is brilliant.

Yes I write for you doreen

Don't write for me, write for YOU! ... though I enjoy reading all your posts! You're like a big brother to me, yes.

__________

(To mnaz ... sorry this thread went off onto another tangent... but similar to real life, people change directions in conversations... still, though.. apologies)