deep breath, asshole

[mtmynd]

deep breath, asshole

I found myself running short of breath
this breathing thing gets to be so much fucking work
just when you think you're transcending this goddam world
all the pathetic crap that we all deal with day after fucking day
it's no wonder that we try to escape from the mundane daily dose
of goddam ignorance and idiocy that I see and I know damn
good and well you see it too.. the absolute chaos of living
and living together like we belong to each other
like we belong to this exclusive club that nobody can afford
but we all pretend to fit in and talk with each other about
crap that none of us really give a flying fuck about after we
leave the club and wander down the parking lot looking for
a way out of the madness that we all are part of... it's enough
to take my own breath away like it was intentional to avoid
breathing as if I was trying to suffocate myself with a pillow.

please! please! i heard myself screaming out ... please!
but nobody gave a shit. most of all I didn't give a shit.
I can't believe it.. I mean why in the name of Clutch Cargo
would anyone want to live like we do? I'm not talking about
living here in that so-called favorite chair you like to park your ass in...
no I'm talking about living the day-to-day existence looking
out for the next fucking moron to piss you off.

it doesn't take a goddam philosopher to spout off why this is
but only that this is the way it is so fuck you if you don't like it.
and I have my moments, brother, when i don't fucking like it..
not one goddam bit... and that's just the way it fucking is...
and then it happens... that loss of air... gawd! i want breath..
not just lousy, stinking, everyday breath but pure air
from the entrails of Gaia the Giver of all things on this goddam planet
we so fucking crowded in and dying to breath just a breath...
just one fucking breath of pure, unadulterated air that has been
here for eons before we, the mother fucking human population,
took and abused and shit all over and stole from and crapped and
pissed all over like this one once-beautiful planet was a goddam
fucking piece of shit that was in our way and we were going to
kick its ass until... until Gaia gave us every goddam thing we wanted
and them some but no! we stop just short of breath and gasp!
choking on our own vomit as we get dizzy and pain mounts in us
and we get scared.. so fucking scared that breathing...
(any fucking gasp of breath)
we'd pay a goddam fortune for just one more minute of living...
one more moment of life and then, and only then,
we get a mother fucking realization that this.. this world we've pissed and shit all over... this is it! baby, there's no place else to go... zero.
breath goddam it... breath deep, you son-of-a-bitch... this is all you are going to get until your goddam lungs surrender.

and if your so fucking useless that breathing somehow just
isn't goddam enough for your ego living bullshit then may i suggest
taking that piece of soiled and stained pillow that you lay
your chaotically charged head on looking for sympathy and understanding
and place that pillow over your goddam nose and your goddam mouth
and just once... just one time... pretend: this is your last breath.

it just may come true... it just might... you might feel pressure being
applied to your nose and mouth that makes you piss in your pants
and wriggle and jolt with fear like you've never had in your life
and you won't know who is behind that pushing pressure holding
that goddam pillow over your nose and mouth taking away your
breath... until it's gone. breath is no more... extinguished
along with your fucking life that your never were sure of what to do with...
along with all the rest of the bastards that have fucked with you
because you fucked with them and never fucking knew it... asshole.


cecil
10.13.08

[mnaz]

That's why.... I love Nevada so much. I can enjoy the illusion of a vast empty planet, breathe a little easier, breathe it all in as it was before breath, the original dada desolation before all the packed-like-sardines scorched earth shopping carts of toxic doom... You're probably right... to the planet we're a cancer. Having a bad day, Cec? Rant on!

[Doreen Peri]

wow!

feel better?

great rant, cecil!

i just heard a show on npr ... this guy was saying that one in four mammals is facing extinction because of how we screwed up the planet

gawd.. is that sad and scary or what?

[Lightning Rod]

I don't know if I'm breathless
or having trouble breathing
smothered?

[mtmynd]

thx, mnaz, Dor' y LRod...

actually i had a very pleasant day. this piece just came from within like a micro-burst and spilled the words of anger without any intent on my part... so to speak. almost like i was channeling some thing or body.

but it felt good and i can't help it!

[Arcadia]

but it felt good and i can't help it!, that sounds good!!!!!!

[constantine]

amen to all that, cecil. my head's in the same place.

[hester_prynne]

Shazam!
What a read...what a read....
indeed.
big sigh of relief.
I feel better too..it was a powerful cleansing for us all.
Thank you Cec!
H

[SmileGRL]

discharging negative energy coming from somewhere deep within...well said cecil. as only you can.