The wicked lies he breathed conceived a curse
Which captured his entirety of vain!
Infectious eyes bred malady, and worse,
His visions were soon captured in the strain
Of perilous illusions of control
Too quick to spill his liquid fire and burn
The irises inside her eyes, her soul
Forever lost in stalled deceit of yearn.
The halo of his moon, a tease of fire,
Elusive like the silent pass of Time,
Entreating her to arcs of light's desire,
Yet naught can ever sate when souls don't rhyme.
Too often, stars are pairs, elation spent
In lieu of heaven, constellations lent.
dp- 1.19.2001
In lieu of heaven - a sonnet
-
Doreen Peri
- Site Admin
- Posts: 14612
- Joined: July 10th, 2004, 3:30 pm
- Location: Virginia
- Contact:
once you write a sonnet the next ones come easy.
the rhythm and count and scheme all coincide and it becomes easy
to write a sonnet. not to mention fun when you have an idea or two.
once in a while i feel inclined to survey sonnetland
and see if it offers me any respite.
this, yours, doreen, is a fine sonnet. good internal soundplay.
(within lines) ie: perilous illusions. quick... liquid etc.
in lieu of heaven
heh.
niceness.
the rhythm and count and scheme all coincide and it becomes easy
to write a sonnet. not to mention fun when you have an idea or two.
once in a while i feel inclined to survey sonnetland
and see if it offers me any respite.
this, yours, doreen, is a fine sonnet. good internal soundplay.
(within lines) ie: perilous illusions. quick... liquid etc.
in lieu of heaven
heh.
niceness.
godless & songless, western man dances with the stuffed gorilla through all the blind alleys of a dead-end world.
-maxwell bodenheim
-maxwell bodenheim
-
Doreen Peri
- Site Admin
- Posts: 14612
- Joined: July 10th, 2004, 3:30 pm
- Location: Virginia
- Contact:
hest - thanks, lady! You're so sweeeeeet! 
mindbum - I love writing sonnets. I haven't written one in quite some time. I think this one's a couple of years old. I think it's fun, too! But not necessarily easy ... especially to make it flow so the end rhyme doesn't sound forced or sing-songy. I find them to be a challenge, like every other structured form of poetry. It's like playing scales or a bach two-part invention... so later, you can jazz it out and cut loose when you're writing unstructured verse (well, that's a lie.. no verse is really ever unstructured, unless it's not verse at all, but prose arbitrarily broken into lines.)... Anyway.. all that rambling, sorry!
Thank you for your kind comments. Let me know when you're interested in surveying sonnetland again and maybe we can write a repartee together or something. Might be fun!
ps- I put sonnets in the category of what I call "puzzle poetry."
mindbum - I love writing sonnets. I haven't written one in quite some time. I think this one's a couple of years old. I think it's fun, too! But not necessarily easy ... especially to make it flow so the end rhyme doesn't sound forced or sing-songy. I find them to be a challenge, like every other structured form of poetry. It's like playing scales or a bach two-part invention... so later, you can jazz it out and cut loose when you're writing unstructured verse (well, that's a lie.. no verse is really ever unstructured, unless it's not verse at all, but prose arbitrarily broken into lines.)... Anyway.. all that rambling, sorry!
Thank you for your kind comments. Let me know when you're interested in surveying sonnetland again and maybe we can write a repartee together or something. Might be fun! ps- I put sonnets in the category of what I call "puzzle poetry."
Re: In lieu of heaven - a sonnet
Keatsian, but lovely 
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests