It Was Never You I was Thinking Of

[K&D]

Kublha Khan has nothing on this fantasy
A tongue wetting down a spine
After all I’m a leaser not an owner and this house is for sale.

My love is as good as his
Mine a one fingured grip and his
A guise to have kids.
Get that ring fitted for your head.

I refuse to be couched,
The mystery to this unholy matrimony.
A mere cusion to the harsh reality
Of your subtle smothering

Convinecne stores are filled
But whitmans is not in with the potatos
She says she knowshe’ll marry and have kids
Satisfying knowing I’m the last good carnal meat you’ll ever eat
Depressing thinking of the lady like dutes
That lay ahead of you.

Don’t apologize rationally to me
You didn’t take me lying down
I know your naturally inclined
You were between a rock and a hard place remember?
So how could I believe you now?

Love is a madness I’ve never been striken with
They’ll call it rage When at the wedding
After breaking your new china plate
I stab him so he can feel my disease

When I awake I think,
Those weren’t even her legs
again I’m captured by my own imagination.

[Lightning Rod]

good to see you KidDo

I sometimes wonder what you are doing. I imagined that you would be producing the next stellar independent film.

Your poetry has progressed, as I'm sure that your life has.

keep us up on it

[K&D]

will do, I've been reading a lot of Oscar Wilde...he's really helping me understand the nature of language and how funny languaage can be, the brits in general too seem to have a better handle on language as an art.

I wonder what you've been up to these days too, it was nice to come back and see everyone is still here. Sometimes you have to go away to develop as a person. I've been through so many changes in the last wo years, all good though. I'm at a new stage in my life, I've graduated and am working on a pilot for a reality t.v show as an editor and also i get to go shoot with the guys and its a learning expereince. I get paid next to nothing, I am working with a homophobic boss. I'm living in baton rouge (not the most liberal of states) but yeah things are o.k for sure, i'm making my way. send me a message about new projects your up to.

[Perdida]

I don't believe i've had the pleasure of reading you until now,
know that "wow" is sooo cliche, but ummm Wow!

you had my attention from the first lines, and i had to go back and read again.....

my fav lines.....

Love is a madness I’ve never been striken with
They’ll call it rage When at the wedding
After breaking your new china plate
I stab him so he can feel my disease

raw emotion, i felt this.

thank you

will be looking out for you

[K&D]

Thanks. The one thing I really like about poetry is you can be as brazen as you damn well please. A women, one of the two that inspired this piece once called me a "brazen hussy" and I have found if you can't be brazen in poetry or with those your intimatly involved with then where can you be brazen and wild. I'm a biological female, i suppose it doesn't matter but I wonder out of curiosity what gender a person who doesn't know my gender thought I was....did you feel I was a women or a man? I wonder if the issues of being queer come up out of the context of the author...I'd be intrested in your response.

This poem had a lot of rough drafts, that look completly different. its almost as if I have three seperate poems about the same subject.

sorry about the spelling...it's never been my talent.

thank you for your comments.

[Perdida]

i first thought you a woman, then a man and then i thought no, definitely a woman *smile*
does it matter?
queer didn't even cross my mind....

[K&D]

no doesn't really matter. I wondered what it sounded like, how it came across to other people. I mean I wonder if someone from a background different then yourse would think it was written by a man. I want it to kind of be a question i guess, i'd like all sorts of people to relate to it but i'd like other women who are attracted to women to maybe think they could hear something in it specific to them.

Do you know who Morrissey is? he's a singer, he writes songs that seem to speak to a whole experience within an experience. its hard to explain, its like, people who are not heterosexual get the joke but he's never stuffed into a "gay" music category and there are those who think he's heterosexual...its like speaking a coded language of a coded experience and i guess i just wondered how my poem came off, what gender people might assume i was.

[jimboloco]

Love is a madness I’ve never been striken with
They’ll call it rage When at the wedding
After breaking your new china plate
I stab him so he can feel my disease

how interesting! i got erroneously routed into your world
by a halloweenie url in my email box "ode to mousey"
so here i yam, and i was captivated by this poem,
and this verse just grabbed me, i posted it and then scrolled up
and here is perdida's quote, the same!

i mean it describes a complex situation, a straight facade
the dominant culture, conformity, suppression,
and the underground dynamic, the hidden impulse,
the secret longing, denied, betrayed, unforgiven,
of course, i also am from the underground, an equal affinity,
the course of history towards a more humane society,
the refusal to accept defeat! ah me, who refused to fly, refused duty
in th air farce, gave up my wings, job, rank, family respect,
went beat, still beat, an doin fairly well, hopeful now, encouraged

i always thought your gender was a woman
i always thought your intent was to embrace and encompass
your persona , whilst your por·tent is evident, you're gonna be great!

[Perdida]

Hi there, ok....you asked,

i'd like other women who are attracted to women to maybe think they could hear something in it specific to them

I think that yes a woman who is attracted to women could and would hear something specific to them.....in almost every stanza, a line or two could be picked out, or come across as woman to woman reference here.

smile

just my opinion and yes i am sure there's alot that i have missed.

Morrissey, hmmm i've heard of him, but i have not heard his music or read his words. You prompted me to search him, and yes he sounds like a very interesting individual. I admire someone who just IS, yanno. Someone that doesnt give a crap what others think of them, we forget sometimes that this is OUR life we are living, this is supposed to be OUR life that we're living, we should do everything possible to make it joyous, to be happy, it's our right.

arghh it's too early in the morning and you got me thinking to hard grins. lol

thanks

[/quote]

[K&D]

thanks Jim and Perdida. I sometimes wonder if I had better language and math skills if i would have rather been a linguist then anything else, i love hearing how people see different work, its reasuring that other people get the intent or connect with the author. I've got a longer poem called You Prefer Darkness which i wrote prior to this one, it is more i don't know not together, i'd be intrested in what you thought of that one compared to this one. maybe i should post it as well.