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Post by **still.trucking** » June 26th, 2009, 2:20 am

Oh hell
Why not go for the full monty

I was dam near suicidal when I lost the road. I felt so useless, I did not know what to do with myself. My brother tried to set me up with some flea market stuff but I did not have the self discipline to scuffle for a living the way he did...

I finally took a job at a truck stop. It gave me the illusion of still being on the road and it paid my bills. I started fooling around with computers in my spare time. After awhile a guy offered me a job making three times as much as I did at the truck stop. I had a friend who was working at the truck stop with me who had been a big time computer whiz back in the eighties. Made big money but he drank a lot and worked his way down to that minimum wage job at the truck stop. When I told him about the job I found he wanted no part of it because he used to make 50 bucks an hour back in his salad days. It was too much of a bring down, it hurt his vanity. So instead of make 15 bucks an hour he would rather make 5 bucks an hour at the truck stop. Pride or vanity?

Am I making any sense?
Is this not philosphical enough"
does this relate to what you are saying Doreen?
Izzy tells me that something always reminds me of something else.
This thread reminded me of my friend in Virginia. May he rest in peace. I think he died of a broken heart.

Sorry If I got too personal Theda,
I hope you can hang in there because you are probably the best hope those people have. At least you have compassion for them.

Doreen I also apologize to you for getting too personal.

Take care of yourself clay

and thank you for the poem.

Post by **Doreen Peri** » June 26th, 2009, 6:52 am

It told me a lot about you ... and that's a good thing, Jack.... thank you for sharing that story!

I don't really get that "pride" thing regarding the computer wiz person you described. I have to think about that one. Where's the pride for that guy? I mean, it's totally illogical.

Post by **still.trucking** » June 26th, 2009, 7:47 am

Foolish pride?

I did not get it either and I am not sure it has anything to do with Clay.

I liked that Tang poem "Hard Is the Way of the World. " Clay's poem had that edge to it also.

Clay's poem: I liked the part about anonymity more than the part about poverty. But my situation is different than his.

"I would rather be thin than famous" J.K.

Post by **Doreen Peri** » June 26th, 2009, 9:52 am

Clay's poem: I liked the part about anonymity more than the part about poverty. But my situation is different than his.

I like Clay's poem, too.

And I also like the signing your poem "Anonymous" line.

I like the one line we're talking about also. "Poverty taught me freedom."

I think that's a great line!

Clay isn't living in poverty, by the way, if you think that's what his "situation" is. I've never known him to live in poverty. I'm sure he has in the past ..... we all have in the past. Ever since I've known Clay he's had a solid roof over his head and plenty of food. Not poverty at all. When he lived in Virginia, he had a very good job, also. These days, he's designing websites for customers which is also a good job! I think it's great!

.....

And Clay, I really liked these two lines, too

Henceforth I will have no causes, influences nor attachments
No affections, no reflections, no excuses, no demands

Would make for great song lyrics.

Post by **still.trucking** » June 26th, 2009, 10:02 am

I thought lucy said it well

Yet the flavoring of your poetry
true, rich, deep-
undeniably and distinctly yours,
Clay.

Re reading your Writing is like prostitution poem this morning.

Clay is the biggest whore on studio eight.

After me of course.

Post by **Lightning Rod** » June 26th, 2009, 2:19 pm

this talk reminds me of a poem I wrote for Stilltrucking:

For Jack Tilles

Me and Jack are from the same tradition
Road Scholars
we like a high cab and a smooth desert highway

we are accustomed to late night confrontations
with ourselves reflected in the windshield
blackness pieced by halogen eyes

And when your voice cracks on that CB
it's like a craggy lullaby to me
hell, I don't know what you're talking about half the time

But the other half rings like a mermaid bell
submerged and eloquent as a fishes tail
We're fine as long as the wheels are turning

Post by **constantine** » June 26th, 2009, 4:29 pm

did i miss the spat?

Post by **Doreen Peri** » June 26th, 2009, 5:20 pm

I guess so. I missed it, too. 'Cause there wasn't one.

Post by **hester_prynne** » June 26th, 2009, 10:17 pm

Another thing poverty teaches is strength. Situations you never dreamed you could get through come up, and you make it through, stronger, surer, not so vulnerable to your self doubts. Doreen, you are my soul sister in this.

We are all going to go into cardiac arrest someday.

Poverty, wealth, possessions, nothing....what does it all matter?
What matters is having the lessons we learn contain love, for ourselves and for each other.

No spat here! I think it's been a wonderful exchange, I mean, I hope I haven't said anything wrong?
H

Post by **jackofnightmares** » June 27th, 2009, 1:49 pm

Thanks for the flowers Clay.

Interesting poem. More than interesting once I get by my vanity.

and see you in the windshield.

THe hours clay, the thousands of hours staring into the reflections in that windshield. "Laughing Buddha boys do not have all the answers" Hester Prynne

I been thinking about changing my last name to Tiles.
Tilles sounds so Jewish.

Post by **Doreen Peri** » June 27th, 2009, 1:59 pm

Hest... Did you say something wrong in this thread? Hell no! Of course not!

I agree with you.... poverty definitely can make you stronger! Wealth and possessions.... who cares, right? I don't! Life isn't about those things. It's about love, you're right. I once wrote a poem years ago called "stuff" ... maybe I'll dig it out and repost it. Stuff is a waste of time.

I'm in process of trying to figure out how to quit working for good. I'm ready to retire and live my life. I'm reading a book called "the 4-hour work week" ... oh wouldn't that be nice! You can work to keep yourself from the poverty level but if the work isn't rewarding it's time for a change. May sound impossible but I'm thinking of becoming a professional painter. Meaning... it's something I love to do... I'm not that good at it yet but I plan on getting better at it. If I could paint 2 paintings a week and sell them for 1/2 my weekly salary, it replaces my job. I know a painter who paints cartoony monsters... that's all he paints. Looks like kids drawings. And he lives on it. He travels the world and does shows! He's one of my inspirations these days.

It's not work if it's something you love to do and want to do all the time. The promotion of it would be the work. I've promoted other people's endeavors and businesses most of my adult life, though, so maybe it's time to put those skills to use and promote myself.

My biggest fear is not being able to get insured (medical insurance). If I quit my job, I'll have "pre-exiting conditions" and it will cost me a fortune to buy medical insurance. That scares the daylights out of me. I NEED medical insurance.

Life is hard, no doubt about it. That's all I have to say. It's fricking hard. Life is hard work. Ugh.

Post by **stilltrucking** » June 27th, 2009, 6:29 pm

The way of the world is hard.

I am grateful that I was not born two hundred years ago during the time of debtor's prisons.

Or even worse say in Sparta. Where I would starving to death on the side of a mountain.

I suppose you could file this one under the half the time you don't get what I am saying Clay.

Post by **Nazz** » June 27th, 2009, 8:01 pm

Ok, since no one's asked yet,
do you?

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