coffee

[creativesoul]

i am having coffee
with my cousin whom i loved
more then even i knew
because he crossed over
went from here to there
where his daddy, mother and grandparents are
i cry selfishly for my loss
he is having a good time seeing all of them
and i am not done here yet
i know that he had wolf medicine and horse medicine
some day we will ride horses together
in the woods away from hunters and death
sadness and grief
someday we will hold each other and hug
when you have only one cousin
it has an impact when he dies
yet i feel him around me
like a friend that only i can see
we have the same eyes
i think he hated me working where i was working
kid jails are just wrong
His life had scars of the lonley and after a while he stopped talking
when he discovered no one listened.
i can hear him now
and he seems happier

[stilltrucking]

I had tea with my sister and brother in law today
poor kid her brothers all so old, when we say so long we never no anymore.

she just could not say good bye, her husband sitting in the car, she looking at me so sadly.

We are all old enough to be her father.

Thinking about a song my brother wrote
"if we fill every moment with loving
the time will see that its done"

sounds like time is on your side
thanks for writing.

[creativesoul]

sometimes words do not convey the feelings

[stilltrucking]

I rub my fingers over your words and they bleed.

[stilltrucking]

Perhaps I do not understand your words
my fingers do not bleed
just a metaphor for the pain of grief
I spent so much time mourning for strangers
Poets I have never met except through their poetry
Grief is pain
a numb pain
for me
I could feel that
that you feel he is better off
that line is what prompted my reply


mourning is a slippery slope
i have learned to watch my step
the first days are the hardest

but I do believe time is on your side.

I am still working on this post please

meanwhile I thought you might like this song from Mistertroll
not sure if this link is going to work from his website.



Tha's The Way It Goes

What can I say,
I think I heard you when you said he is happier now.

for what this might be worth

Freud says the need to be an artist comes from early childhood and a sense of loss that enables the artist to see things differently...

Grief is interpreted as mourning, not depression. Mourning, a positive process in life, leads the sufferer to change and growth, to a kind of rebirth, to a condition previously unknown.

okay I am done now
thanks for the private message
a cup of tea with lemon sounds lovely