Dead Man Talking

[Lightning Rod]

This morning I learned that an execution date has been set for Karl Chamberlain. The State of Texas is planning to murder him on June 11. He has been on death row for 10 years.

Below is pasted what may be his final letter.

This is what a man thinks about when he is staring ritual death in the face.

Would you want to know the date of your death?

--------



MAY MONTHLY LETTER
Karl CHAMBERLAIN, #999241, Polunsky Unit, 3872 South
FM 350,
Livingston TX 77351-8580, USA

My dear friends & family,
Hello. =) I haven’t written much recently, and
haven’t written a monthly letter since March, so I
hope you’ll forgive me. I have a lot of news, some may
be difficult but a lot of it is good, and much remains
to be seen. That’s one thing I love about life, it’s
full of surprises. =)

So first, please sit down for a minute, take a breath;
it’s such a precious gift to be alive, to have such
friends, and be together like this. =) the first bit
of news is simple: “I’m not dead yet!” I love that
line; I borrowed it from Monty Python, and for me it
contains all the humor and bravado and stubborn
persistence of life.
I recently read a quote in DUNE, by Frank Herbert,
which I also love: he says, “Don’t judge a man dead
until you’ve seen his body, and even then you may make
a mistake.” I am sure many of y’all on the internet or
eGroup know this, but the Court set an execution date
for me for June 11th, 2008. When I first heard this it
was about 30 days away, as of today it is 21 days,
three weeks exactly.

This is hard for me to talk about, not because it’s
emotional, but it’s impossible to be precise. This is
a very serious date, and likely this may be it for me.
however, my attorney, David Schulman, is very
optimistic about the subsequent writ he filed.
Although the Courts have ruled against this issue in
the past, the politics of the death penalty are
changing a bit, and the last vote was 6 to 3, so all
he really needs to do is convince two Judges. Also I
have had a hearing before the Board of Pardons &
Paroles, and John Nation is preparing a clemency
petition.
So the fact is this execution date greatly increases
my chances of execution, but we still won’t know until
it happens. I’m sure news of this date may hit many of
you hard. In modern life, we try to push away the
specter of death, we fight it, defy it, or try to deny
it. This is why I feel it is one of the greatest
blessings in my life to have come to Texas death row.
I have had the chance to look death in the eye; it has
greatly deepened my relationship with God, and helped
me realize that death and dying are two very different
things.
Often I wish I could explain the great joy I feel in
life. I mean, I go through down times, doubts and
depression, like anyone else. Just after I received
this last stay, ironically, I went through a time of
great despair — and yet, even then I felt it would be
okay.

Sometimes the very difficulties we face are exactly
what we need to experience. I know sometimes you feel
bad for me, and others, here on death row. yet I am
glad for my suffering, because it helped me realize
life is difficult everywhere. And while I have had to
come face to face with our fragile mortality – there
is nothing like laughing and joking with a close
friend, and watching them walk out the doors with
their head held high and never come back.
I think many of you empathize with this, but I think
you miss the whole picture. Because there have been
many guys, like my friend Scooby (Carlton Turner),
who’ve walked down to that gurney with the same
resolve and dignity, embracing death – and then get
sent back, at the last minute! One of my closest
friends, Delma Banks (aka Big Tex) has been down there
13 times! Once he came within five minutes of
execution… and now he has won his appeal, and he’s one
step away from a life sentence, with a very realistic
shot at parole. My friend Thomas Miller-el just
received a deal on a life sentence. My friend Gabriel
Gonzalez is back at Court in San Antonio and expecting
to receive a plea. I read this recently, that one in
five guys who come to death row end up leaving.
So although I know some of you may meet this news
with sorrow, tears, or a kind of grim resignation –
the simple fact is this is what you make it. I
understand this sorrow, for me it has been a little
like dying each and every time I hear such news. but
one of my favorite, best movies about prison gives
sage advice: “(Here) you either get busy living, or
you get busy dying.” The fact is that giving up hope
is more like death than dying need be. I won’t EVER
give up hope, even should they evict me from this
body, I know that life is eternal – and this love and
friendship we share shall go on.
I’m not saying we should deny our feelings; this time
I was a little shocked, even dismayed at the
suddenness of this date. Although I have still
experienced a sense of joy and freedom, I also felt a
poignant loss. My lil sister has just started dating,
one of my brothers is engaged to be married – and I’d
love to watch my baby nieces as they grow up; I’d love
to write more letters, sing more songs, have more
visits, finish some of these projects. (smile) It is
true that I may not be able to do these things. I may
die on June 11th.
But isn’t that true for everybody? We may die
tonight, tomorrow, or next month. I am sure everyone
at the moment of dying, must experience that tug of
longing – but to dwell on it, to wallow in it, to me
that’s death, whereas dying is just a passing phase,
passing through on the way to eternity. scientifically
speaking, did you know your body is made up of
dinosaur guts and stardust? I don’t know if dying
opens up into heaven or a grand circle of Life… but in
a strange way, if it’s my time to go, I’m curious and
wondering what it’s all about. =) =) =) =)

then after I go through this feeling, I get hit with
the full force of irony, “But hey, I’m not dead
yet!!!” =) I wonder if dying is kind of like that. ;>
So I thank God for bringing me to Texas death row. I
have learned to live much more lightly, and ready to
go. It is my great good fortune to be given this life,
even it means to come here and die. We all die
someday. Why not me? Why not June 11th?
After all, if I had never come here, I would have
never know you as I know you; I would never have
become the man I am today – and although there are
dark times and challenging times in my life, it does
not diminish the joy; it does not diminish me.
So, first of all, I would like to remind you that
this trust, friendship and love we share is a gift as
precious as life itself. Dying takes nothing away from
the real treasures we have shared. Even the letters,
photos, cards, artwork, are nothing except a temporary
reminder of the unseen, ineffable, neverending love
light and laughter we share, within. Secondly, I’d say
“Don’t forget the Mystery.” there is no telling what’s
going to happen until it happens. I try to respect the
Mystery, respect myself, and be prepared as I can. If
you have something that needs to be said, say it. If
you have something you long to do, do it. you are
absolutely free to live your life as you see fit.
Live, please live, with all of your heart.

Some of the practicalities: I’ve been busy trying to
write everyone who may have plans to visit. Already
it’s getting down to the wire. I’m hoping for a
special visit, at least a few hours, the week of the
7th. I believe Katja is planning to come, and Maggie,
my Mom, Malika, Rosie, my Dad and perhaps Mitch, Amy,
Julie and other friends around Texas. On the 9th and
10th, the prison will give me two full days at
visitation, from 8am to 5pm, where they make an effort
to help everyone who wants to visit come in. Many of
my family have said they won’t be coming – but if they
change their minds at the last minute, they will let
them in, one way or another. I can only have ten
people on my list at any time, but people can come and
go much more freely – it may sound strange, but I’m
really looking forward to those days. =) =) Then
Tuesday night, the Shout Out Show will have a “special
show” for people to call in – if you are at all able
to call that Sunday (the 8th) or on the 10th from 6pm,
I would really love to hear from you! ALSO, if you can
send me your phone numbers (even overseas, but I need
the country code) I may be able to call on the 11th.
On the 11th I can visit with a couple people in the
morning, then around noon they take me over to the
Walls unit. There I have a little time with my
spiritual advisor (Mitch), access to a phone, my last
meal…
..and then around 6pm, they get a phone call to
either “go ahead” or “wait.” they can wait until
midnight at the latest – and of course, I may get a
stay at any moment between now and then. =) Usually
the later it goes means the higher the Court that
intervenes or decides to hear my case. One really
great thing about this date, to me, is that I feel now
they will finally either have to face some of the real
issues in my case, or kill me.

If they do give me a stay, and grant me a right to
appeal, it could give me another 2-5 years, and give
us the opportunity to get things moving. =)
There’s been a lot of good news these last few
months. Phil & Maggie and other friends have been
doing a great job on the new website:
www.lifeforkarl.net. Maggie has had greetings cards
made from some of my artwork. Rosie has set up a “Life
For Karl Fund” which will be used for investigation
and legal fees, as well as fund raising projects – or
for cremation and memorial, if it comes to that. It’s
the LIFE FOR KARL FUND at Wells Fargo, routing #
107002192, account # 896340917.
My friend Scooby asked me to contribute some writing
to a project he and his girl Kjersti have been working
on, and it was recently on exhibit in a Galleria in
Marseille, France – for those of you who might be
interested about the cells here, you really should see
this – they made a knitted cell, lit of and decorated
with Scooby’s art and poetry. =) you can get
information, and perhaps photos, from: Erika Trupin,
info@trianglefrance.org. My friend Weena, from
Australia, has set up an open forum at:
forums.delphiforums.com/forkarl and I’ve written to
ask her to help manage the eGroup – if, of course,
there’s something to manage. =) But you may email her
as well as aneew@bigpond.net.au or just join the For
Karl forum, I believe.

I’ve also had several media interviews; one guy from
NBC, from the Steve Wilcos Show in Chicago, seems
really excited about a humanitarian story – I’m a
little cautious, but he doesn’t want to know too much
about my crime; I also had a really in-depth interview
with Mike Greczyck from the Associated Press – it was
just an audio recording, but he said he’d send a copy
of the interview for the website, and a bit of my
singing for my Momma as well. I also had a cautious
interview with a Dawn Tonglish from a Dallas news
station, CW 33 – since she also said she would send a
video of my singing to my Momma, as well as a copy of
what airs, at least. There is a risk of being taken
out of context, of course, but if I can give something
to my Momma, or you all, it’s worth the risk I think.
=) My Momma also had a week with a Danish camera crew,
so if I get some action, any of these things might
make a difference.

Of course, it may not happen that way, but even if
they do their worst, we have done our best… and even
IF I die, there is victory in knowing that. =)
On that note I’d like to continue the talk we have
had about Hope. a couple of people have written me,
and helped me realize it can be a challenge to explain
things precisely – often people have misunderstandings
because they use the same word to mean different
things. Language is a very muddy medium for
communication. So perhaps I haven’t been using the
correct word for what I mean.
In my dictionary it defines hope as “A feeling of
expectation or desire, the wishes or aspirations of
oneself.” To me, hope in the highest sense is not
something outside of us, it is not something separate
from us, it is not something set off in the future,
nor at all intangible. Hope is present right here and
now – it MUST be if it is truly eternal. To me,
expectation, desire, wishing, or aspiration are four
very different, disparate experiences. Expectation is
projecting a result into the future, as if it will
happen. Desire is longing for something that has not
yet happened. Wishing is a kind of dreamy ideal that
is disconnected from reality. To me, aspiration is
really the heart of what Hope is all about. An
aspiration is a living, growing thing inside of us,
inside of all humanity. It is a seeking, a challenge,
and a journey; and yet it’s very comfortable because
it can’t be disappointed. It is patience,
perseverance, and although it may live within one it
is also greater than mere imagining.
For example, I aspire that the death penalty be
abolished. I know this will happen, because it is in
the best interest of society, individual, and all
humanity. If it means I lose my life in this pursuit,
so be it. not the DESIRE that my life alone might
abolish it, but even if my life is just a stepping
stone forward. In a very real way, every letter I’ve
written, every written description, every painting or
poem, is a part of this aspiration.
I have had a dream of building a ‘glass house’ of
sorts from letter excerpts, quotes, artwork, poetry,
photos – I have even dreamt (smile) of painting
detailed views of and from this cell, so people can
see through my eyes, look out my window, poke around
on my desk or shelves. I have dreamt of having help
typing in the daily vignettes and autobiographical
bits from my letters to be a part of this. Sure, this
may seem like a very small thing, but an aspiration is
not an argument. I don’t want to fight about the value
of life or debate about the death penalty – all that
has been done before, and other people may take that
course – but it’s not for me. All I aspire to do is
let my life speak for itself. Life, like God, needs no
defense. Truth needs no argument. Let people read my
letters, read the intimacy and trust that I share with
my dearest friends; let people share my joys, laugh
with surprise, and cry with my sorrows – hell, they
can even laugh at my mistakes. ;> There’s nothing more
human. then let them think, and decide for themselves.


To me, the walls and fences and razorwire and guards
that surround death row are not what kills us; these
are mere symbols for the apathy, ignorance, and fear
that separates and destroys human beings – so I would
share even my worst hurts, my worst mistakes, openly.
simply to invite people into my life. I haven’t done
any grand or noble deeds’ I’ve made very common,
ordinary changes in my life. Because I felt the worst
possible thing I could do is possibly hurt another
person, my greatest priority has been to change, heal,
and learn – and by the grace of God, and with the help
of some very awesome friends (that’s you!) I’ve
learned how to live as a human being, how to give love
and accept it as well, how to be a friend – and
sometimes, perhaps, these changes have rubbed off on
other people, other men here – but I have needed these
years to love and heal, and to me that’s so much more
important than a mere appeal.
It might not seem like much, but to me this is the
most precious thing in my life. It has helped me to
see that life, even from death row, can be precious
and beautiful. It has given me the faith to know that
although the State may kill my body, they can never,
NEVER take this away. My life may come to a close, but
never an ending.

This might not sound like much. It’s certainly nothing
you’d hear on the Six O’Clock News – it’s not
sensational. It’s very simple, sweet, and gentle. I am
willing to die for my country, my State, if they but
ask it. how else can one aspire to abolish the death
penalty – by fighting? =)

So let’s not have this letter be an ending. This is
not a parting, not goodbye, but rather a promise to
the love and friendship we share. I know if you died,
and I happened to live, I could never forget you. the
love and friendship we have shared will come again and
again into life, in our heart or to our minds – so I
would rather say “see you again!” or “Coucou!” even,
which is French for a greeting kind of like
“Peek-a-boo!” After all, although we seem to be far
apart, you are here with me, and I am there with you.

I give you this blessing:

May God (ayuh) bless you with
Peace beyond understanding,
Love beyond comprehension,
Abundance beyond having,
Heroism beyond fighting,
Truth beyond knowing &
Sight beyond seeing.

From alpha to omega
may Gratitude be your companion.

May you find
Joy without end,
Wonder without end,
Faith worth having,
& Life worth living.

Above all – LOVE!
LIVE! LEARN! GIVE!

amen.

With Love Light and Laughter,
with Friendship, and BIG HUGS!!!

Karl Eugene Chamberlain
June 20th, 1970 - ????

[Doreen Peri]

That's a long letter. It's good he's speaking out.

I don't believe in capital punishment, as you know. I've written about it on the internet many times, stating my opinion that it's barbaric and should not be legal.

I need to read this again. I had a hard time reading it. It was upsetting me.

Mostly what was upsetting was that I don't see any words here that state that he was sorry for what he did. He killed people. How many people?

Does he have remorse?

Did I miss that part?

I'm very sorry that the death penalty is still legal. It should be abolished.

But I hope when I read this a second time, I find at least one sentence that states he is sorry for what he did. I'd like to read some remorse. For the victim's sake. I believe he should be remorseful. I hope I missed that part and I find the words in here with a second read.

[Lightning Rod]

doreen, I don't think you missed it because it wasn't there...the remorse.

as you know I've been intimately involved in this case

and this is one thing that throughout the ordeal has dismayed me too

that there appears to be no remorse

it was one person that he killed

she was a young mother

her four or five year old son discovered the body

[Doreen Peri]

That's the problem with it. That's what makes people upset. People that don't even know the victims or the murderer. What are the reasons a person kills? When a person kills someone in self defense they don't get the death penalty, of course. When they kill someone because of emotional instability or it is a crime of passion and they are sincerely sorry for what they did, wishing that they didn't do it and knowing that they will have to live with the thought of what they did and the guilt about what they did for the rest of their lives, it seems to me that the state would take their remorse into consideration and they may not get the death penalty.

But this is what capital punishment is for. Those who believe that the death penalty is appropriate particularly stress that when there is no remorse, what do you do? What's the punishment if there is no guilt?

Though I believe that the death penalty should be abolished since I think it's barbaric, believe me, I understand the stance of those who want to know what to do with a person who murders but feels no guilt, no remorse. What does that make such a person? A cold blooded killer? Like a hired gun, was he just doing a job?

The state probably argues that it is less expensive to proceed with capital punishment than to house and feed someone for the rest of their life and also to make a point that you just can't go around killing people. It's not OK.

Anyway, again, I don't like the death penalty. I wish they'd abolish it because it is barbaric. But at the same time, these words seem cold to me, no matter how much "love" and "hope" and pretty phrases are used in the letter. Without the remorse, without feeling sorry for what he did, geez.... what's it all about?

I'm very sad for the murderer's family. And also very sad for the family of the young lady who he brutally murdered, especially her son who witnessed it.

[izeveryboyin]

I looked this guy up on the internet and had a quick read about him after finishing the letter, which, by the way, I found to be insightful, powerful, and indicative of a man who has given his life and his fate a lot of thought, and I always appreciate a good read. But if a man has done thing things, and even worse, done them with no sense of remorse... then his talent for letter-writing is of no consequence. I have no sympathy for someone who could commit a crime so gruesome, not be apologetic, and then attempt to rally support behind himself. But what I'm really wondering LRod is how you came to know this guy. Do you go way back, or are you just a recent convert to his cause. He's not yet 40 otherwise I would just assume so. I think it's easy to support someone when you weren't there to hear the victim's screams, or to see the look on that child's face when he found his mother lying dead on the floor. This why I am on the fence about the death penalty. Because if it was my sister, my mother, my daughter, my friend, I would be waiting with bated breath for the day I could finally be assured that he was rotting in hell. But then if he was my friend or my brother, my father, my son, my heart would hurt when being faced with the reality of his death... even if I had come to terms with the fact that what he did was terrible... and his lack of remorse more terrible still. At any rate, thank you for sharing this. It gave me a lot to think about.

--k

[Lightning Rod]

it happens today, at six o'clock

To know the moment of your death and the method
Is that a blessing or a curse?

for the soldier who charges the fates
for the murderer, the gallows awaits

for one it's an accident
for another, it's planned and sent

for some, it's death at birth
some don't know what it's worth

But to know the moment
to know the method

Is it a blessing or a curse?

[Doreen Peri]

i hope the family of the victim can finally find some peace

i hope the family of the murderer can also find some peace

[hester_prynne]

LRod....I just want to tell you that I hear you, that I care about how this upsets you...it upsets me too...I've been doing some research on this case and it seems that this man, at 21 years old, suffering from sexual rape by a babysitter repeatedly, and neglect by his self-absorbed mother was mentally and emotionally a mess, and he struck out by comitting a heinous crime, in what I am sure was in disturbed, repressed, and built up anger. The victim, an innocent woman, was violated sexually and then murdered brutally, only to be found by her own loving son. Every action in this is waste, and food for insanity to highest of degree.
When I read his letters that are current, I don't know if I sense a lack of remorse, it's more an amnesia it seems, a non-realization of what he actually did anymore, as if he has healed so very much, (in such an unlikely place)that his crime now is even unthinkable, unreal to himself.
It's extremely sad all around......
I find myself angry at his mother for not giving him probably an ounce of what he needed as a child...she even assumes responsibility for his crime in some of her words...although there is a hint of her enjoying the attention she is getting pre-execution, a note of her still, unable to realize the outcome of her actions as they affected her son's fate.
It appears that the penal system has done a good job on reforming this poor young man, but you never really know...would he do it again?
He seems perfectly comfortable with a life lived behind bars as part of the price he pays for being born into a bad, evil breeding movie...neglected, raped, fallen thru the cracks to his death....
Indeed I hate the death penalty, I agree it's barbaric.
But I also hate his crime and feel extreme sorrow for the victim, she being in a bad place at a bad time...a friendly neighbor, loaning, of all the irony, him some sugar.....
I hope they, meaning the law and the victims family, are taking all of the circumstances into account....and not just wallowing in their rightful anger, but moving through it...being bigger than the basics and seeing the human story unfold..seeing this man's insanity,as well as seeing his rehabilitation.
Is he sorry? I think so. He says in a letter, that he had "committed a terrible crime at age 21".....but again, it's as if he himself has so left it behind it's unbelieveable to him, that he was perhaps a monster he cannot remember now, much less speak of, indeed, someone else then, and that a true metamorphisis has occurred in his rehab, and it is as if they are executing at this point, a totally different person......
Hang in there dear...and know that it is hard for alot of us to see this going down.
H

[Lightning Rod]

Thank you izzy, doreen and hester for your insights. I've been struggling with this thing for some time now.

My association with Karl is that I knew him when he was a small child. I dated his mother. I never could really get through to him even though I tried. I like kids and all the relationships I've had with my 'step kids' have been wonderful. Those relationships have lasted longer in most cases than my relationships with their moms.

But I never could get through to Karl. When I would try to meet eyes with him, he was looking slightly to the left, not really connecting.

It had been about 15 years since I had seen Karl when he was arrested for his crime. I was shocked, but I was also caught in the middle because it so happened that my brother was the prosecutor in the case.

Karl richly deserved to be behind bars forever, but I can't feel right about murdering him when the State does it in my name.

As I write, the deed has probably been done. I guess he was lucky to have had an audience.

here are the facts:

June 11, 2008, 6:00 PM--execution date for Karl Chamberlain
Victim: Felicia Prechtl

Karl Eugene Chamberlain lived next door to Felicia Prechtl, a single mother, and her five-year-old son. On August 12, 1991, Chamberlain observed Felicia’s brother leaving with Felicia’s son. Chamberlain went next door “to borrow a cup of sugar.” Upon gaining entry to Felicia’s apartment, Chamberlain bound her with duct tape and sexually assaulted her. Chamberlain then shot Felicia in the forehead, killing her. Felicia’s semi-nude body was discovered on the bathroom floor some thirty-five minutes later by her brother and son upon their return to the apartment. Chamberlain walked his dogs after the murder. Chamberlain’s guilt was not uncovered until 1997. In the meantime, he confessed the murder to others, relating that he had gone to borrow a cup of sugar from his neighbor and that she had answered the door naked and seduced him. Chamberlain further elaborated that Felicia had delighted in their sexual intercourse and explained that he had killed her in a panic only when she threatened to inform his wife of their sexual encounter. While Chamberlain says his non-violent past supports his contention that the evidence is insufficient to show that he is a continuing threat to society, the evidence does show a history of violence. The State introduced evidence that Chamberlain had attacked a fellow soldier with a knife and a woman at a shopping mall with a stun gun. The State also introduced evidence that Chamberlain broke into a pornography shop when, seeking pornography, he had found the shop closed. In addition to this evidence of a violent past, the State introduced the testimony of Dr. Kenneth DeKleva, a psychiatrist. DeKleva asserted that the facts of the offense reveal a sexually sadistic, antisocial personality disorder. DeKleva noted that the crime scene revealed that the perpetrator needed to inflict humiliation, degradation and pain to achieve sexual gratification. DeKleva testified that leaving Felicia uncovered and exposed evinced a lack of regard for her humanity and utter lack of remorse. Similarly, DeKleva testified that the fact that Chamberlain walked his dogs after committing the offense also revealed a disturbing lack of remorse. The subsequent fantasies blaming Felicia for seducing him, along with Chamberlain’s claims that she enjoyed the assault and then blaming her for the murder because she was going to tell his wife, were all, according to DeKleva, evidence of a dangerous personality disorder. DeKleva noted the evidence of Chamberlain’s overpowering sexual urges, i.e., that as a teenager he kept a mannequin with the crotch cut out, that he burglarized the pornography store when he found it closed and had stolen inflatable sex dolls. DeKleva testified that there is no known treatment for a sexually sadistic killer and no evidence that their fantasies eventually subside. DeKleva testified that these traits reveal a dangerous person, particularly when that person had already fulfilled some of his violent fantasies. DeKleva concluded the evidence established that Chamberlain would probably commit criminal acts of violence constituting a continuing threat to society. At trial, evidence showed that a number of obscene calls were traced by the phone company to Chamberlain’s telephone at work. A phone company spokesperson testified that after receiving complaints about obscene phone calls to two Pennsylvania establishments, they traced a number of subsequent calls to a telephone extension registered to a telemarketing firm. The owner of the company testified that each salesman’s telephone was limited to an assigned geographical area. He testified that a computer system recorded each salesman’s calls, so that supervisors could see from what extension a call was made, what time it was made, the number dialed and the length of the call. When he was informed by the police about the obscene calls to Pennsylvania, he ran the two phone numbers given to him by the police through his computer system. Chamberlain’s extension was shown as the number from which the calls originated. Chamberlain was confronted with these facts and though he never admitted to the phone calls, the calls ceased after he was confronted.

[Lightning Rod]

I just found out that the deed has been done

the last thing Karl did was to look at the victim's family and say how deeply sorry he was for his actions.

I hope that helped

[stilltrucking]

The old man lingering on his death bed says to his daughter, "I don't know how to die." I wish I could have given him a time. Just hang on a couple more hours Taylor, you are going to die at 7:08 tomorrow morning.

You will be done with this.

It would have been a comfort.

I hope it helped too Clay.

[gypsyjoker]

It was a revenge killing. Some people find comfort in revenge. I know I used to.

To know the moment of your death and the method
Is that a blessing or a curse?

Not the same an old man on his death bed I know that. I can see how it could be a blessing too.

I been thinking about how both sides in the holy land cry out for revenge.
That loving G d so merciful.
And I was blind but now I see.

[gypsyjoker]

This is from an article about Isaiah Berlin

Human beings, Berlin believed, had the capacity to face the truth and make their choices even in the darkest of moments. This is why, he wrote, the deception of Nazi officials who persuaded Jews into cattle trucks by assuring them that they were being 'resettled' was so pernicious. The deception may have 'diminished the anguish of the victims' but it nevertheless produced an 'unutterable kind of horror in us': 'We cannot bear the thought of human beings denied their last rights - of knowing the truth, of acting with at least the freedom of the condemned, of being able to face their destruction with fear or courage, according to their temperaments, but at least as human beings, armed with the power of choice.'

emphasis mine

[hester_prynne]

I'm so sorry LRod, for the pain you must be feeling about this, knowing now that you knew these people, how hard it must be. Perhaps you feel like you could have done something way back when to help, I mean knowing you as I do from your work and scribing, it seems to me that would have been your goal.
Its a terrible weight and wonder.....I must tell you, I found a video of his mother and watched it very closely.....was sad to have my gut tell me that with this woman, there was no way she was going to ever get right and or do right by people for her own well-being....some folks only know how to remain victims, and they work very hard albeit unconsiously, at keeping that status, regardless of the fact that it is due to their own manipulations and abuse of those around them, that are the very cause of their victimness. Many of us have the same "reason" if you want to call it that, to go in this victim direction, yet thankfully many of us don't, many of us learn that it is up to ourselves to stop the madness. Sadly for this young man, I don't think his mother was capable of improving her goals.
Take care of your good self LRod...don't forget the good things too.
We all dig you around here, the past is the past and this is the present where we can manifest what we have learned, and you my friend, do this very well, you my friend inspire many. That is a fact.
Hugs
H

[Arcadia]

sad story, retrograde end.

l-rod: have you ever did/or thought in doing some work related with art with jail prisoners?. Just curious!