eBay Virgin

[Lightning Rod]

I've decided to sell my virginity on eBay
it's perfectly legal
how do you verify male virginity?
is it eyewitness testimony?

Notoriously unreliable
they'll have to take my word for it
there aren't that many 60 year-old virgins left
place your bids

[mnaz]

Lack of eyewitness testimony?

got virgins coming out of the woodwork,
virgins here and there, virgins in frilly under where,
blank politicians flank hotwire statisticians, electricians,
magicians, Russians, bluffins muffins, ruffians.
virgins mergin purgin, surgin' fo' just-uss..
virgins everywhere, verifiable, viable, pliable...
virgins in a van, in aghast of Stan, virgins in a-rack,
virgins on my back, sell me black what I lack.
virgins virgins here 'n there 'n no one is innocent,
and the world is reduced to
a tiresome Johnny Rotten
cliche..