secret thing
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- constantine
- Posts: 2677
- Joined: March 9th, 2008, 9:45 am
secret thing
i got this secret thing
like when the elevator door closes
and i make weird faces and dance funny
till the door opens and i smile placid and humble
at home, i revel in a continuous stream
of ungodly and perverse non sequiturs,
scorching invective that leaves me feeling a little ashamed
but not that much, not that much at all truth be told
and then, from some place even darker
some hell hole that should've been condemned long before i was born
comes an abominable display of behavior that i try to evaluate but
just can't seem to get a handle on no matter how hard i try
my only hope is that it doesn't spread into the public domain
because that would be most humiliating
like when the elevator door closes
and i make weird faces and dance funny
till the door opens and i smile placid and humble
at home, i revel in a continuous stream
of ungodly and perverse non sequiturs,
scorching invective that leaves me feeling a little ashamed
but not that much, not that much at all truth be told
and then, from some place even darker
some hell hole that should've been condemned long before i was born
comes an abominable display of behavior that i try to evaluate but
just can't seem to get a handle on no matter how hard i try
my only hope is that it doesn't spread into the public domain
because that would be most humiliating
Last edited by constantine on December 9th, 2008, 6:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
- Lightning Rod
- Posts: 5211
- Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
- Location: between my ears
- Contact:
I usually do it in front of a mirror
(wasn't this a famous tom cruise scene?)
(wasn't this a famous tom cruise scene?)
Last edited by Lightning Rod on December 9th, 2008, 12:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
- constantine
- Posts: 2677
- Joined: March 9th, 2008, 9:45 am
- constantine
- Posts: 2677
- Joined: March 9th, 2008, 9:45 am
I agree with K&D here. Someone has finally said it.
I do that too. not the thing on a lift but I do it at home and I do it in work, especially before I answer the telephone (it puts me in the right mood to speak with the clowns I work with).
I've been warned though. A guy I used to work with, who has since moved to Dublin to work, told me a story about when he used to still live up in Oban. An old barfly in tweed plus fours and the occasional glengarry would prop himself up at the local hotel bar night after night: "i saw Fraser this morning...he was getting into his land rover.... BAHHHHHHH!!!!!!.... I asked him if he'd been out of the loch today..... WHISSSSSSSS!!!!!...."
Well, my work mate said that he and his friend started imitating this little quirk in their speech. They did it so much that he confessed, "now, I think I do it when I'm drunk... subconsciously..." you see. it's in there now. He was warning me that all my little "outbursts" would soon become part of my real psyche.
I always knew I wasn't the only one but I'm glad someone has said it

I do that too. not the thing on a lift but I do it at home and I do it in work, especially before I answer the telephone (it puts me in the right mood to speak with the clowns I work with).
I've been warned though. A guy I used to work with, who has since moved to Dublin to work, told me a story about when he used to still live up in Oban. An old barfly in tweed plus fours and the occasional glengarry would prop himself up at the local hotel bar night after night: "i saw Fraser this morning...he was getting into his land rover.... BAHHHHHHH!!!!!!.... I asked him if he'd been out of the loch today..... WHISSSSSSSS!!!!!...."
Well, my work mate said that he and his friend started imitating this little quirk in their speech. They did it so much that he confessed, "now, I think I do it when I'm drunk... subconsciously..." you see. it's in there now. He was warning me that all my little "outbursts" would soon become part of my real psyche.
I always knew I wasn't the only one but I'm glad someone has said it

- Doreen Peri
- Site Admin
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Cool! i can just see you in my mind's eye doing that... what a riot! 
.... my sister and her fiance (back in the day... they were only in their 20's but much less mature than that), weren't smart enough to keep their elevator antics out of the public domain
they played the "poo-poo" game... or "fuck" game... or whatever other word they thought was funny that particular day
And on crowded elevators, one would say the word very quickly in a whisper and the other would have to say it a little louder, and so on... until they were laughing so hard they could hardly contain themselves
(or so i heard... i never actually saw this game as it was happening... so the story goes)
Boy did they describe the looks on the faces (shock, anger, complete and utter amusement, terror, you name it) of those riding in the elevator in vivid detail which made us all laugh when they told the story.
Their marriage only lasted a year, unfortunately.
I wonder why.
Thanks for the intriguing and humorous poem... and for sparking this satisfying memory.

.... my sister and her fiance (back in the day... they were only in their 20's but much less mature than that), weren't smart enough to keep their elevator antics out of the public domain
they played the "poo-poo" game... or "fuck" game... or whatever other word they thought was funny that particular day
And on crowded elevators, one would say the word very quickly in a whisper and the other would have to say it a little louder, and so on... until they were laughing so hard they could hardly contain themselves
(or so i heard... i never actually saw this game as it was happening... so the story goes)
Boy did they describe the looks on the faces (shock, anger, complete and utter amusement, terror, you name it) of those riding in the elevator in vivid detail which made us all laugh when they told the story.
Their marriage only lasted a year, unfortunately.
I wonder why.
Thanks for the intriguing and humorous poem... and for sparking this satisfying memory.
- constantine
- Posts: 2677
- Joined: March 9th, 2008, 9:45 am
- constantine
- Posts: 2677
- Joined: March 9th, 2008, 9:45 am
- goldenmyst
- Posts: 633
- Joined: April 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm
- Location: Bible Belt :(
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