I have lost interest in sex

Post by **stilltrucking** » December 5th, 2009, 10:38 am

It has been months now.
Since I masturbated.

Thanks to you.

I was told I never crawled

One day I just got up and walked

Seems about the way I do things.

I was thirty two years old before I could climb a set of stairs out of a basement without the hairs on the back of my neck rising up in fear.

Post by **SadLuckDame** » December 5th, 2009, 10:52 am

Don't blame me for it.

I haven't been intimate with anyone in too long myself,
so it means I'd not wish it on another.

Post by **stilltrucking** » December 5th, 2009, 11:03 am

Have you read Cenacle's new verses. Amazing and beautiful.

http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtop ... c&start=15

Post by **stilltrucking** » December 5th, 2009, 11:12 am

'Erotic'…many breaks in this world…not enough healing

Post by **SadLuckDame** » December 5th, 2009, 11:14 am

Are you suggesting erotic is the healing way?

I'd started to read them.

Edit to add~ Oh erotic as in the poem. I'd began reading them, but hadn't made it that far yet.

Loved this one especially...

Beloved (20)

She is everything
I startle & awake
Everything still.

Cenacle's piece

Post by **stilltrucking** » December 5th, 2009, 11:56 am

I don't know what I mean for sure
I think maybe I am thinking of the title of the movie
A scent of a woman
Maybe I just needed to feel the presence of a female friend
someone who cares
I just know for sure I am always happy to see you
like sunshine.

Post by **SadLuckDame** » December 5th, 2009, 12:19 pm

It just caught me so unexpected.
I'd had dreams last night of being intimate with someone
than I come here to see you've posted this.
I was crazy with thoughts of...how'd he know
and stirred up amazement on seeing that.

Maybe it meant I was 'healing' last night
I do feel much better today.

Post by **stilltrucking** » December 5th, 2009, 12:42 pm

My dreams were very pleasant too. Technicolor, I remember one was about a DVD that was yellow with the words TeaTimer on it. TeaTImer is a software program. Then I went into one about M and M candies, therre were thousands and thousands of them floating before my eyes all in brilliant colors. I don't remember anything erotic about them. But there was one dream about studio eight that was mysterious.

Post by **SadLuckDame** » December 5th, 2009, 12:54 pm

Well, you know what it is Jack. We dream to get 'better' and we dream to place it solid in our memories, and etc.

I fear I'll forget how to kiss. Seriously getting scared I'll be virgin like and unsure when the time comes to be passionate. So, maybe we dream of erotic and intimacy today, to be better at it tomorrow. I don't know.

m and m's sound sexual to me, I'm not sure why you don't consider them.

Post by **stilltrucking** » December 5th, 2009, 1:07 pm

Well I guess they could be, after all they are Chocolat

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/RCS4lxoxBPI&co ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/RCS4lxoxBPI&co ... edded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

I read Passages by Gail Sheey about thirty five years ago. She had a bit in in it about how she decided to "revirgify" herself. Metaphorically that is.

http://www.amazon.com/Passages-Predicta ... 0553271067

Post by **SadLuckDame** » December 5th, 2009, 1:29 pm

You'll be astounded, I know, but I've a fear of being 'soft'. The x didn't know this. I'll not do well with coddling. Too many years and he'd never 'noticed' me. Intimacy is a trouble area. I don't want to go gently on a pillow with sweet nothings in my ear. I'm not soft.

First thoughts after briefly looking into the book, I'll read more later.

I'm confessional, not worried with too much information. I've a lot to discover, which can only happen if I go about it this way. Makes sense to me.

Post by **stilltrucking** » December 5th, 2009, 1:49 pm

Man I dug that movie. I saw it six times when I was the projectionist at a drive in movie. Speaking of wonderful jobs with a nightmare boss that was one of them. Eventually I was fired because I did not "shine him on". I think I miss the pillow talk more than the sex. I would lay there and listen to the sound of silent woman's voice as she unburdened the herself of the cares of her day, I always seemed to know what to say, very little just a few words now and then but they were the right ones. Eventually she would turn to me and we would embrace.

But later I turned from beomg her perfect lover to her perfect fool. And she would play Carol King's "It's too late baby" over and over. But I tried to hang onto her skirts. Eventually she had to leave took off hitchhiking across the country. On A hejira from me.

I think about Anne Sexton everytime I hear the words "confessional poet"

Post by **SadLuckDame** » December 5th, 2009, 2:52 pm

I'm not very good being vulnerable caught unawares.

I'd thought about hitchhiking and running away,
but then there's the kiddos.
I'm sorry too. Women like me are a terrible trip.

Post by **stilltrucking** » December 5th, 2009, 5:18 pm

She did do it impulsively
She went with a friend
And it was thought out
She bought a van
The part about me being the cause of it may just be vanity but that is how it seems to me.

The hitchhiking bit came later. I have never talked about this before. Never thought it through. My memories of it I mean.

I talked about with jimbo, about the people she became involved with when she got to the west coast.
A group of Jesus freaks,
they travelled with nothing
except a surplus army blanket and wearing a white robe. I think Jimboloco met them too.

My mind plays tricks on me —memories condense.
I am in a hurry to get somewhere with this before my mind melts completely.

I got a web page
I thought about linking blocks of text together from different posts here
Where is Mindy McAdams
and her HyperText BreakDown when I need her

I took the day off from work,
I just woke from my first dream of you
not erotic but tender.

Post by **stilltrucking** » December 5th, 2009, 6:13 pm

Liar liar pants on fire

I think it was you
I have dreamed about Doreen and Hester too

My shirt was on fire in the dream not my pants
but even so
I reached out and touched you with my hand.

Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

I have lost interest in sex

I have lost interest in sex

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