old woman

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creativesoul
Posts: 4660
Joined: September 15th, 2005, 3:23 am
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old woman

Post by creativesoul » October 2nd, 2010, 2:26 am

i wake up and smell the aroma of my juices
flowing under the fool moon and saturating me in nectar

i used to find pleasure in contact with a man
that last one couldnt hold a matriarcal woman

comfort and control
dinner on a tray
somehow i found myself whacked on anti depressants
trying to make sense of his abuse
trying to be lovable
willing to turn into a prezel for love

my friend once said to me
"i would sell myself for love"
it was all true
but i found love in odd places
my spirituality saved me
when i didnt think i deserved it
my scents are calling someone
icant see his face
reason is over rated, as is logic and common sense-i much prefer the passions of a crazy old woman, cats and dogs and jungle foliage- tropic rain-and a defined sense of who brings the stars up at night and the sun up in the morning---

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mudshark
Posts: 257
Joined: April 13th, 2005, 2:17 pm
Location: Norway

Re: old woman

Post by mudshark » October 2nd, 2010, 8:49 pm

nice flow. and i like the selection of words. compressin the intensity, making a long story with few means. anti depressant. odd places. dinner on a tray. splendid! I did wonder about this, though:

when i didnt think i deserved it
my scents are calling someone...

writing error?

the scents...

If you're driving into town with a dark cloud above you
Dial in the number who's bound to love you
If you're lying on the beach with the transistor going

Kick off the sandflies honey the love's still flowing
If your head says forget it but your heart's still smoking
Call me at the station the lines are open

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4pvjgA3 ... re=related

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Arcadia
Posts: 7964
Joined: August 22nd, 2004, 6:20 pm
Location: Rosario

Re: old woman

Post by Arcadia » October 3rd, 2010, 10:09 pm

nice flow, indeed...!!!!! :)

like the drunk-like beggining:

i wake up and smell the aroma of my juices
flowing under the fool moon and saturating me in nectar

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tinkerjack
Posts: 987
Joined: May 20th, 2005, 7:27 pm
Location: a graveyard in Poland if I was lucky

Re: old woman

Post by tinkerjack » October 5th, 2010, 6:26 pm

If I am ever reborn as a woman
I pray it will be as a very old one
Toothless with withered breasts
so that no man would look at me twice

You have a gift CS, you are truly a creative soul, thanks for the inspiration for my strange reply above. I am probably the worse kind of Jew. I am an ignorant child about the religion but I have heard that in the Talmud there is a prayer that goes something like this:


A man says, "Thank You for not making me a woman." A man is grateful for what he is not. Because he can't make a positive statement, he can't say, Thank You for what I am. He's never sure he is anything.

A woman says, "Thank You for making me as You want me to be." A woman can make a positive statement about herself, because she knows that she is. She is grateful for what she is.
http://www.chabad.org/library/article_c ... -Woman.htm
sincerely
thank you for the private message. Sorry to take so long in replying. When you spoke of power I suppose you meant that power that flows between a man and a woman?
free rice
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I used to be smart

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