the day the world flipped upside down again

[saw]

I told the doctor he must have lost a screw
that there has been some kind of careless mistake
my mind could not accept news like this a second time
and healthy six year old girls just don't get leukemia

the tests...the tests, the tests they confirm it
we must leave at once, there is no time for packing
we must speed off to the hospital, there will time later
to gather an assortment of clothing, the right stuffed animals

but now, right now, my wife and I will begin to live apart
one at home with the healthy child, one in the clinical world
alternating so each child can hold on to a slice of their old life
the chemo is already dripping and there is no time for second opinions

we plunge our faith into the hands of strangers and the prayers begin
even for a heathen like me, I ask for help to put on a confidant face
a happy face that brings Christmas presents to the room on the fourth floor
where a little girl is clearly braver than I will ever be as she forces her smile

she always seems to speak the right words
with maturity beyond her years, she vomits into the plastic basin
it's 3 a.m. and we roll the IV pole into the sterile bathroom and she says to me,
"Daddy, I wish there was no such thing as cancer."

and I reply, "Me too honey.......me too."


* note: fortunately there is a happy ending...two of my three children contracted leukemia.....the middle boy was the donor for my daughter's bone marrow transplant....everyone has recovered.....by son has been cancer free for 14 years, my daughter for 8 years.....the donor son is also doing well, as he had developed profound fears from the other two....we're very lucky indeed...
the quote's are from my journal that I just found in a drawer recently....

[judih]

wow.
thanks for such a profoundly fine ending
but this poem must ring with far too many parents - please offer it everywhere

[dadio]

moving and thought provoking poem.

[joel]

...so many prayers...prayers of thanksgiving for your family's healing...prayers of solidarity for the families still struggling for peace...

...this is the kind of love that is poetry long before it's written...

...my faith is built on the idea of shared blood...and blessings to the blood that heals where blood is broken...

...thank you for this poem and for the lives of your children....