On Yehudit’s
first weekend off
from work
she met you
by the field
near the stables
arriving in her
cotton dress of green
and that raincoat
left over from school
and she said
been waiting long?
no not long
you said
although you’d been there
ten minutes or more
feeling the cold
bite into your skin
couldn’t get away
Mum wanted
this done and that
she said
leaning against
the fence
thought you might
have changed your mind
you said
why would I ?
she rubbed her hands together
to warm off the cold
said I’d be here
and I keep my word
she said
you sensed her uncertainty
the words sticking
in your mouth
we used to be closer
she said
none of this distance
between us
she knew about
you and Yiska
knew what there was
to know
the fact that Yiska had gone
made no difference
betrayal had been done
she sat on the fence
and looked out
at the frost covered grass
you sat on the fence
beside her
her knees showed
where her dress
had risen
she had a laddered stocking
what was she like?
Yehudit asked
I mean did
she kiss good?
you looked
at the laddered stocking
flesh showed
yes she was good
you said
did she let you?
she asked
let me what?
you said
looking away
from the stocking
your eyes
meeting hers
you know let you do it?
she said
pushing the words out stiffly
as if the frost
had got to them
does it matter?
it’s history now
you said
it matters to me
she said
her voice
getting tighter
she looked
at the field
green and white
I guess it does
you said
we didn’t anyway
there wasn’t the place
or opportunity
you added
watching rooks
in the grey sky
their calls
filling the air
Yehudit looked at you
her eyes glassy
but you wanted to
she said
even if you didn’t
you breathed in
the icy air
you remembered
that you and she
had made love
in some woods
back behind you
the evening
had been warm then
flesh to flesh
heart sensing heart
I’ve met some at work
she said
breaking through
your thoughts
I wanted you to know
not discover
and feel betrayed
you sensed a loss
bite you
a falling away
beneath your feet
I’m pleased for you
you lied
she climbed off
the fence
her feet sinking
into the frosted grass
see you around
she said
and walked off
across the field
you watched her go
sensing the cold
and the falling of snow.
THE FALLING OF SNOW.
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