people calling like i am a telephone- and maybe i am-returning to this theme song over and over- because it consumes me- that i could be like a stigmata- an to help others heal-
why did they give me these gifts what are they for? how was i s stranger to these things for so long- was it all those ceremonies i did? yeah- but - not everyone feels this stuff- thought about the road here- now i am going to the gym to clear that out
magic oils and scents- sending it back from whence it came- and there isnt another choice- the very next right thing is what is what is supposed to be done=- like there was a choice- could i have lived in a box in the city/? my sons used to say - such mocking things about the energy - had that crazy card pulled on me- one too many times-
and to some- that cannot do the things i am somehow able to do- i have had so many people tell me what they can do- and very few show me-- the night is a bit chilly- i have worked with a guy with a broken back and neck- a woman that had been thru the wringer and her notorious husband- and the young girl on the streets of portland vomiting- and - they are all fine now- they just needed what i could give- i could see - what i could do- and when it was time to distance- the new agers call it catalyist- able to go thru many experiences unscathced= but this is not the end-the red road says 'the hallow one the empty vessel-that the spirit world does the real work' the chritians say that God and jesus do it all- the hawaiians and the natives do ceremonies to invoke the spirits ----------- these gifts are not free- there is a price- you cannot turn back- after you work with healers and sun dance - and have amazing things happen to you and the people around you- then you start meeting other people with some of the same gifts that you have- it is pretty amazing-
it is not crazy at all-
white noise is when you do not listen- when you pretend that what you think you heard is not real- and talk yourself out of something that had you listened would had a way better outcome-mmmm
sounds like being able to listen and tune in would make more sense that disqualifying the information- ya have to be able to float- to trust- to believe that the very delight of the spirit world isto help us- to heal- to do the right thing- to at best emulate respect and honor and generosity-i have seen the ones that are 'darth vader' seeking everything for themselves- and giving nothing of themselves- but they have cool stuff in thier houses- but do not undertand when one medicine does not go with another- so much for collectors- some things have spirityual responsability- and the responsabilities i have been gfted means i cannot live in the same cubicle with anyone but my dog- i crave that kind of love- but i know that - that can interfere with what spirit is telling me to do-where to go- who to work on- and with- tommorow they are taking metal out of my friend s neck- and i have a tension going on- and i jst have to let th air out of all of it- right here- because i know i have to spiritually link up with her- until the wrost of it is over- which could be - a month or so- ---
so i feel like an actress- where i am almost someone else- because it is 'us' and that is how it feels- i can feel what she feels and - even what she should eat-
call me crazy- but when you are really down on your luck- i hope you can find a healer like me- because it is priceless- and the rewards is when a person is free again- love comes back into the face and heart- the light comes back into the eyes - and i am free-
then i spend four days letting go- and then--- i meet another person- that amazes me
the sad thing is 'people do not remeber' when they come back to being present- and meeting them where they are- and intervening can be dangerous-
