Working the system

[sasha]

 
USSR, 1953.

The phone rings at a KGB field office. "Hello?"

"Hello, this is comrade Vladimir Rushnykov up the street from you. I wish to report that my neighbor Misha Vetskova is illegally hiding diamonds in his woodshed."

"This will be noted." Phones disconnect.

Within the hour, KGB goons descend up Vetskova's cottage. They rough him up and ransack the woodshed, chopping everything to bits - but find no contraband. After a final threat, they leave.

Vetskova's phone rings. It is Rushnykov. "Misha, this is Volodya. Did the KGB come?"

Vetskova answers, "Yes, they chopped up all my firewood."

"Good," Rushnykov says. "Your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."