Monkeying around with limericks

[Doreen Peri]

Think of the center-stage monkey.
A bold-faced attention junky!
He hangs from his tail
and if people don't wail
and applaud, he does something more funky.

The monkey cage is the epitome
of fun and the essence of comedy
but when I didn't applaud,
oh my goodness, good gawd,
the baboon threw a handful of shit at me!

[Doreen Peri]

Two views in 12 hours.

I guess I'll remove the word "limerick" from the title.

Not many of you like limericks, eh?



So, without the word "limerick" in the title, I'll fool ya, you'll click and you still won't like it but it will feel good to fool ya!

I crack myself up.

[Lightning Rod]

limericks are supposed to be funny, doncha know
(or at least attempt to be funny...example below)


You're as loose with your limericks as I am
who cares if it's a spondee or iamb
if the meter's correct
you just genuflect
and call yourself Omar Khayyam

*to be a true limerick, this has to be read with a Texas accent

[Doreen Peri]

limericks are supposed to be funny, doncha know

Yes. I know.

That's why the 2-stanza limerick I wrote above is.... FUNNY.

Glad you thought so too. Thanks.

[joel]

Not many of you like limericks, eh?

I crack myself up.

Dude, you KNOW I love a limerick. And as for funny, these are--but I don't think funny is that necessary. I prefer vulgar--ranging from funny to depressing, sweet to em/sym/pathetic.

I love it, Doreen!

[Totenkopf]

A hot poetess named Doreen
penned verses that were rather obscene:
after reading her poems,
fans' mouths start to foam
and they reach for their batteried machine.....

[Doreen Peri]

well i liked "epitome" rhyming with "shit on me" but didn't rhyme too well with comedy.. lol.. oh well..

thanks, joel and yours gave me a grin, mr toten

....
vulgar and depressing, eh? mixed with sweet and em/sym/pathetic? you don't ask for much, do ya joel?

how 'bout this...
.....

A child who was troubled and daring
decided to murder a herring.
Damn bird was aflutter
when dumped in the gutter
and soon he heard loud sirens blaring!

"Oh no! I'm in trouble, no lie!
If they catch me, I surely will die!"
So he swam down the sewer
stuck the bird with a skewer
and made them a sweet mince meat pie.

[Doreen Peri]

LOL!!! just saw your new entry, Tote...
was typing while you posted..

[Totenkopf]

it's a bit nasty. ill delete it if ya want me tooo.

Limericks are not exactly Finnegan"s Wake but writing a decent one requires a certain wit.


A limerick requires some wit,
it's not just a top 40 hit.
Many poetic nerds
spew endless words
as if seized with a psychotic fit.

When the hands say 13 O'Clock
The cuckoo starts to Squawk:
"O wifey dear
It's time, I fear
for you to attend to my c*ck....."

[Doreen Peri]

why would i want you to delete that? i just killed a bird and made a pie out of him with mine! lol..

.....

A poem will not make you bread!
It could cost you your savings instead!
Self publication costs money,
but IF you are funny,
you could sell a few to get ahead.

Just look at our friend, Ogden Nash,
he started without any cash!
But his New Yorker gig
thought his rhyming was big
and he made a sweet cent from his stash!

[joel]

Sorry, Doreen! I didn't intend "vulgar" to mean everything has to be everything, just that vulgar might be more inclusive than funny. I really enjoyed your monkey bidness--no complaints from me, only praise!

[hester_prynne]

Geez, this thread's a treat too!

I once knew a man, they called boss
who's breath smelled like mill on the floss,
he was oderous and rank
in fact he just plain stank,
and when he farted, he always touched cloth.

I'm not very good at it.
(it's vulgar at least!
)
H