Aeroembolism

Post your poetry, any style.
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~K
Posts: 312
Joined: August 17th, 2004, 10:32 pm

Aeroembolism

Post by ~K » October 4th, 2005, 7:14 am

I was going down
& she was there
kicking
& screaming in silence.
The ground was coming up
to swallow us
& we were ready to
fertilize the soil and
put an end to weakness.


* * *


"A light!"
she exclaimed.
"There, at the tunnels end."

And who was I
to deny the
moth her flame,

and how could I
obstruct the path
when all things spin to
their eventual conclusion.

User avatar
joel
Posts: 1877
Joined: June 24th, 2005, 8:31 am
Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia

Post by joel » October 15th, 2005, 4:30 am

I don't know if these are two unconnected separate poems, two stanzas to one poem, two tomes in a series or what. I like the first piece/bit very much. There's an urgency to it and a very clear-and-yet-ambiguous feel.

To be honest, the second part is well done I think...and I love the moth (what poet doesn't?), but the light at the end of the tunnel and the moth imagry are sadly claimed by The Cliche. I might suggest twisting them somehow to make them fresh--unless maybe what you're going for is the fact that they're common (ok...in honesty I think hackneyed) terms.

None of it bad at all.

Thanks, Joel
"Every genuinely religious person is a heretic, and therefore a revolutionary" -- GBShaw

hester_prynne

Post by hester_prynne » October 15th, 2005, 3:45 pm

The beauty of resignation, in the droll of maturity.
I know this well. I relate.
We grow to love the bittersweet realities, with a little kicking and screaming, indeed.
Nice one `K`...

H 8)

Totenkopf

Post by Totenkopf » September 28th, 2007, 8:22 pm

not such a bad poet.................some prefer whiskey to vodka, tho...........................

User avatar
~K
Posts: 312
Joined: August 17th, 2004, 10:32 pm

Post by ~K » September 30th, 2007, 4:27 am

thank you

poison
is
my poison


I mist
between the lines
I cross
my heart & hope
still
after all
this time

I am

still
groping for
the exit
still waiting
for our eyes
to catch
a glimpse
of what
this is
about

love

or what
we claim
as our right

to dive
into
a sky filled
kamikaze

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